The Light Within the Darkness.
Authors note. I rewrote this, 1, because I was discussing some of the problems in the lining of the other story, and 2, because I think this one will be better. I'm sorry in advanced if you don't like this story, and I would really appreciate it is you don't review with flames. If you have a problem, or anything, feel free to pm me. I will most likely respond.
Summary: in one night Bella's life change forever. Her innocence was taken, and she couldn't so a thing about it. Fearing for not only her life but, her sisters and mothers as well she takes to cutting. She if plagues by her memories, and to her cutting is the only way to deal with it. Her mom is not the same bitch she was in the other version, but actually a sweeter one, one that does care, and tried to find help for Bella because she doesn't know what else she can do. Bella is sent away to live in a rehabilitation center where she meets Edward, Alice, and Jasper. Watch as they loose their addiction, and fight for what the so badly need. Help.
"You know Bella, tonight is going to be so much fun." He said running his fingers down my stomach, finally coming to a stop at the bottom of my tank top. I looked up at him tears in my eyes.
He started to pull my tank top up, and I protested to the best of my ability, in the process I let out a small scream. I instantly stopped moving as he grabbed the knife and held it menacingly in his hands. "What did I tell you about screaming, do you want me to go get your sister; I'm sure you will enjoy watching her go through this same fun."
I shook my head furiously, and whispered as softly as possible "It wont happen again, I promise just, please, don't hurt her." Another tear fell from my eye.
He patted me on the head like a dog and said "Good girl."
So I lay there, trying to ignore the probing hands that ripped of my clothes. I watched numbly as he pushed himself inside me, taking the one thing that should have been sacred. I became numb letting the pain wash through me. Let myself succumb to the darkness that looked so joyful at this moment. I lay there, waiting for him to be finished, praying he wouldn't do anymore damage to my already destroyed body.
I watch and nodded numbly when he bent to my ear and whispered "Tell anyone about this, and your dead, I sure don't think you want to watch your sister scream in agony as I stab a knife into her stomach."
He cut the cords above my head, and the ones on my feet, loose. He kissed me on the head and I flinched from his touch.
I stared at the ceiling as he left my room; I laid there till the Phoenix light shone through my window.
I sat up in my bed gasping. My body was covered in sweat, and my breathing was fast. Every night I dreamt of that night. That night my innocence was stolen from me, and every day I wake up and wish I could tell someone and put that bastard behind bars. For goodness sake, I was 14!
"Bella!" My sister Brittany called.
"What!" I sniped back.
"Making sure you were awake." She said. I heard her footsteps as she moved away from my room.
3 years later and I was still having nightmares. I moved off my bed and across the floor, till I found the loose floorboard.
I pulled out the razor hidden in there and pulled it across my wrist, watching the skin as it strained against the blade. Eventually, blood spilled out from the wound and I watched as it rolled down my arm in lines, leaving a trail of red in its wake. This was my favorite sight. I sighed as relief washed over me, everything seemed so much more bearable now.
I laughed to myself at the thought of life being bearable, and picked up the towel that was in there and wiped the cut clean. I wiped the razor, and pulled out Neosporin and gauze. I had to be careful: if my mom found out I would be dead, I would have to try explaining why I couldn't tell her, and it would lead to a whole mess of problems.
I took the gauze and ripped a piece open, and wiped some of the ointment onto it. I wrapped the gauze around my wrist, and sighed again at the stinging from the fresh cut.
I secured the gauze with a piece of medical tape, and pulled myself off the floor, making sure that the gaze stayed secure.
I reached back to pull my hair out of the bun I had securely pulled it into last night, after my shower. I let the hair fall loose around my shoulders, the soft curls more prominent from being wet when put up. So of the hair was still damp. I ran my brush through it and when I looked in the mirror it looked presentable.
I walked over to my closet and pulled out a long-sleeve black waffle shirt. It was more fitted then I liked but all of my other clothes were dirty. Walking over to my dresser I pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans. I pulled off the black basketball shorts and long sleeve light blue shirt, I had worn to bed and pulled on the previously picked out clothes. I picked up my favorite black jacket and pulled it on.
The people in school teased me because I wore black all the time, and I never wore shorts.
I picked up my back pack and cell phone and walked downstairs.
My sister, Brittany, was sitting at the kitchen table eating lucky charms.
I scoffed at her, and pulled out a water from the fridge. I hardly ever ate anything besides dinner. Too much food just didn't settle with my stomach.
"Why do you never eat breakfast?" my sister asked. We go through this every day.
"I'm not hungry." I stated in a bored tone.
She let it drop. Usually she pestered me for answers wanting to find out what was 'wrong' with me. She didn't like not being in the loop. She was 15, only two years younger then me, but it was like we were on different planets.
She was a cheerleader who went to every football game, I haven't been to one since 9th grade. She wore bright colors, I wore nothing but black. She talked to people, and was social, at lunch I read a book.
We fought all the time and I don't think she would ever think that I truly loved her. If I didn't love her I would have gone to the police and told them what happened to me, about the man whose eyes I saw everywhere I turned.
He haunted me. Even after all these years I still felt like he was watching me, watching for a slip up just so he could ruin my life more.
"I'm leaving, if you want a ride I suggest you hurry up." I said picking my bag off of the floor and taking my keys out.
"You go ahead, Katie should be here soon." She said standing up.
I nodded and left. My mom was already at work. She wasn't home that often but she did care. She was extremely upset over the fact that I made such a dramatic change in my life.
Until I was 14, until that night, I was the queen bee of my grade. I was popular I had a lot of friends. Everyone knew my name, but that changed. My old friends tried to talk to me but I just pushed them away. I figured that if I got close to them that there lives might be tainted by mine.
I was a disease.
I got into my car and drove the 10 minute drive to the school. My head was pounding already and school hadn't even started.
I parked in the student parking lot and climbed out of the car. It was an old, used, Porsche, but she was fixed up nice and ran beautifully.
I walked into the school ignoring the stares I got daily for my attire.
The day passed by quickly and soon enough I was in lunch sitting in my usual table, by myself.
I usually loved the peace that I got when I entered my book, but today all I got was a worse headache.
I mentally frowned and stood up quickly. The hustle and bustle of the cafeteria was not helping.
I walked to the nurses' office I tried to ignore the pounding in my head.
The nurse led me to an exam table and sat me down.
"What seems to be the problem?" she asked in a bored tone.
"My head is pounding." I said quietly.
She nodded and took my temperature.
"98.6, perfect temperature, lets just your pulse." She said moving towards my wrist.
It didn't even occur to me to pull away a until I saw her surprised face. I looked down to see my sleeve pulled up and the gauze I had put over the new cut was stained with blood.
"Bella? Did you do this?" she asked looking back and forth between my face and my wrist.
I pulled my arm out of her grasp and pulled the sleeve down. My breathing was becoming faster. I had to get out of here.
I picked my bag up as I jumped off the table and all but ran out of the room.
"Bella! You need help." She called after me.
I turned to her and said "I don't need anything."
"I have to report this, I'm sorry." She said.
I ran to my car and drove home. I unlocked the front door and ran to my room trying to find comfort.
I pulled open the loose floorboard seeking the only thing that could help; my razor. I tore my sleeve up and eased the pain the only way I knew how.
The stinging helped but it only muffled the pain that was coming.
His eyes, standing out in contrast to my dark room. The laughter in his face as he brought the knife to my throat.
I could still smell his breath was he whispered in my ear.
I don't know how long I stayed on my floor, memories consuming me until my mom threw my door open. Her eyes darkened as she saw the floorboard and the contents hidden under it.
Rage and sadness crossed her eyes when her eyes found the razor in my hand and the blood trickling down my arm.
School must have been over, because my sister came up behind my mother and a sob racked my body as I saw the hurt in her eyes too.
I did all of this to protect them, but they could never know that.
"Brittany go downstairs." My mom said in a tone that left no room for an argument.
She walked into my room, and shut the door behind her. Much to my surprise she didn't yell or scream or tell me how disappointed in me she was.
She sat down on the floor and picked up the rag in the floorboard to wipe my arm with. She pressed a little too hard for my liking.
"I don't see why you do this." She said as she continued to clean my wound. Renee is a woman of many words but at this moment she couldn't have been quieter.
I felt tears sting my eyes.
"The school called saying that you went to the nurse's office today, she went to check your pulse but was met with a bloody piece of gauze. She told the school that before you pulled your sleeve down she saw a litter of scars across your arm."
I closed my eyes trying, hoping, she wouldn't ask the one question that I couldn't answer.
"Why do you do it? Is your life that awful? Is it me? Brittany?" I shook my head as her voice rose. "Then tell me Bella! I'm trying to understand here, but you're giving me nothing. Your sister is upset, your arm is bleeding, and I feel like I'm an awful mother for not seeing this. Why?" she asked desperately.
I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I was met with my mothers tear stained face.
"Please don't make me answer, mom. Not that. Anything but that, please." I begged as another sob came.
She nodded and when she finished my bandage she pulled me into a hug.
"The school recommended a facility to help you get better, I told them that I would ask you and discuss it with Brittany but as of now my decision is made. You're going, I want the best for you and you being here isn't going to help. "
I nodded another tear escaping.
"I'll call the airport." She said standing up. "Go clean up."
I nodded, and before I could even move she had snatched away my razor and all my supplies that were hidden.
An hour later she came back telling me that my flight would leave tomorrow at 8 am.
I nodded numbly as I stood up to pack.
My head was swarming with the idea of this facility. They would probably make me talk, explain why I cut myself and I couldn't. I had tried to suppress those memories for too long to just I give up and explain them to someone else.