The point of no return
Disclaimer is in place. It's mine, so leave me alone. This is for fun only. No profit is being made from this little piece of fantasy.
Stepping through the studio doors, Gibbs came to a halt and sucked in a grateful dose of fresh air, the first drop of fresh air he'd tasted since the crack of dawn. It had tasted sweet then, it tasted even sweeter now in the tamarind shadows as dusk began to close in around him. Jeez, there were times he hated being cooped up in the confines of a bullpen; the heat, the tension, the work.
Not that he didn't love the work. Quite the opposite. The group of people he had to work beside made it all the worth while. Especially some in particular. One really. But those some, that one, at times, made the working day especially hard.
Her face suddenly filled his mind like a light switch flicking on in the darkness. Gibbs quickly stifled the groan that rose up from his loins, creating an ache that begged to be soothed. That was until he heard the approaching mutterings of leaving co-workers coming up from behind, and he turned his erotic groan into one of frustration.
Quickly moving on down the steps to avoid conversation, and the inevitable party invite, the last thing he wanted, Gibbs began to weave his way through the maze of cars in the lot. He'd been late this morning; stuck in a jam only a mile or so away from the office. But it was long enough to lose a space even remotely near the entrance. Still, the long walk to his car would soothe his soul. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to people, he'd just had enough of being, 'extra nice' for one day.
His stomach growled, reminding him that he promised it a thick, tender and juicy steak, complete with a platter of fries and salad on the side. Gibbs had thought about asking his lab rat, and his frequent fantasy, Abby to join him, but had decided against it. She'd been in a strange mood all day; almost on the verge of tears for some of it, and then mischievous devilry slipped in, totally confounding him.
Devilry he could handle. Tears he could not.
Gibbs hated to see Abby hurting, and he particularly hated to see her cry. It tore him apart, probably more than it should, considering that they were only supposed to be friends, especially when they had to endure the gruelling task of pretending that they were something that they were not in front of the team and regardless if they were having a good or bad day. Whether or not they were friends or more.
How do you pretend to be more? You either are, or you aren't. Which was his problem; he wasn't and he wanted to be, but he didn't want Abby to know just how much being close to her, and touching her, and hell, even having to kiss her was doing to him. How could he jeopardise the tender relationship that they had created at work for something that could destroy both their lives?
Or make it more even more precious.
God, Gibbs was shredded in two with indecision. Kissing her at work when she did good was masochistic torture. Keeping a kiss chaste when all he wanted to do was plunder her mouth with his tongue was beyond agony. And forcing his throbbing loins to stay away from her unconsciously beckoning body drove him silently insane with need.
But he did it. He had to. For Abby, for the team. Damn each and every one of them.
Gibbs's hand froze on the car's handle, a handle that belonged to his car that he hadn't even realised he reached, such was the power of his thoughts. Such was the strength of what Abby had reduced him to.
And here she was, the woman of his fantasies, and the occasional nightmare, sitting in her tiny sporty car that sat half the height of his own vehicle, and low enough for him to turn his head and look down into the smiling features that beamed up at him through the sun roof.
He wanted to run.
He couldn't do this; He couldn't see her outside the work. Not without the others. It was too dangerous, too tempting. Too real. It was one thing hiding behind the pretense of being her boss, it was totally another without a good enough reason, and he had no reason to show her how he felt. He had no way to hide it either.
But he couldn't ignore her this time, he simply couldn't.
"Hi, yourself." he smiled, swallowing the rising panic as quickly as it arose. "I thought you were going to the movies with McGee?" he asked steadily, proudly complimenting himself for not gibbering or squeaking like an idiot.
It was then that he noticed as she delicately shrugged, drawing his eyes even further down her body, just how little she was wearing and his resolve shattered into a trillion pieces as he found himself staring down upon small but perfectly formed breasts, barely concealed beneath the spaghetti-strapped T shirt. It was cut so low that he could see a line of delicate lace that encased her bra above it's edging.
Gibbs struggled to get a grip on himself, spinning away on his heels from the tempting sight. He fumbled with his keys, trying to separate the ignition key from the others with fingers that were non-too-steady. But as he turned away, he completely missed the smirk that erupted on Abby's face as she spoke to his back.
"Oh, no, I changed my mind. Thought I would hang out with you tonight, if that's alright? Figured we could talk some shop" She told him serenely, without an ounce of innocence.
Gibbs's face flared with colour and his stomach twisted with her choice of words. The keys that jangled in his now sweaty fingers suddenly hit the tarmac, and the swift sense of relief swept over him, giving him a chance to swoop down and hide his flaming face, hopefully just long enough to compose himself.
Gibbs knew he'd failed as he found himself turning his head to look in through her passenger window and saw her grinning at him with her tongue firmly tucked in her cheek as she fought the laughter that bubbled up inside her.
The blush returned and crept up his neck to his cheekbones again. Gibbs's brow creased with puzzlement as he watched her perform for him through the now open window. "I thought you were upset about something today. How come you're behaving as though the cat got the cream all of a sudden?" he asked, clearly baffled at her behaviour.
He heard rather than saw her pat the seat beside her. "Climb in and I'll explain." Gibbs stared at her as though she'd grown another head, but years of playing dumb came to the fore and he managed to maintain a neutral expression while he thought about her proposition.
Could he do this? Did he dare? Gibbs had a hunch that if he did, that if he got into her tiny car, his life would change radically and he wasn't sure - after everything he dreamed about, and wanted, he wasn't sure that it was the sensible thing to do, or even the right thing to do, come to that.
Curiosity had a habit of deciding fate sometimes, and before his brain could utter another debate, Gibbs found himself folding his lanky frame into the small confines of her car, his curiosity getting the better of him.
What now? he thought, as he sat beside her, shyness creeping in to steal their voices. The silence between them stretching out uncomfortably as they each vied for the right thing to say. Gibbs plucked at invisible threads along his jeans. Abby fiddled with her necklace, making sure the clasp was at the back of her neck where it was supposed to be, the charm upon the delicate chain sitting just exactly in the hollow at her throat.
Abby coyly watched Gibbs with barely disguised amusement as he fought against his body's, and his mind's response to her closeness. For weeks now, at work, in the lab, she had stood opposite him and laid her love out in the open, in the guise of being thankful that he was pleased with her work. But truth was, that every time she had nearly revealed her feelings to him, her heart was opening wider and wider in her valiant attempt to step from co-worker to lover.
And Gibbs was ignoring each and every attempt. Each word, each look, and each touch that she deliberately prolonged, was just to get him to notice that she was there. That she wanted more than what she was revealing.
But no more. Things needed to be resolved, said, and done to be rid of Gibbs's ghost. It wasn't Gibbs who she kissed and uttered her love to every night in her dreams, it was his ghost, a ghost that was pushing her away. She knew it. She felt it and as each day passed, she was growing to hate in the guise of Jethro Gibbs the ghost more and more.
But today, as they'd stood in her lab, yet again, Gibbs had ignored her blatant attempts to take the conversation beyond technobabble. Abby decided that enough was enough. The pretence was making her crazy, and every time she saw him, the aching, the wanting, and the need to be more than what they were consumed her.
And she was more than aware that Gibbs was fighting those same things and was even more afraid than she was. He wanted her, she was certain of that.
Gibbs grappled with his conscience and his body in the telling silence that filled the crushing confines of the car. He painstakingly feigned interest in the dashboard; flicked switches, turned knobs, anything, ANYTHING to keep his eyes from wandering to Abby's legs which, apart from the ridiculously high sandals that adorned her slender feet, appeared to be bare right up to the belt that presumably passed as a skirt. It was so short. It was minuscule, and it was as sexy as hell and Gibbs tried, he tried reaaaaal hard not to see any further than the hemline.
And the curiosity nearly killed him.
He had to get out of there and it had to be soon. As he frantically searched his frazzled mind for an excuse to leave, Gibbs was already holding onto for the door handle, readying himself for the escape.
If Abby had realised his intent, he'd never know. If Abby had a plan up her sleeve of what she was about to do, he'd never know, because as he opened his mouth to speak, she suddenly got out of the car, walked around it's bumper to his door and opened it, and without missing a heartbeat, she climbed in, knees first, pushing the lever that moved the seat backwards at the same time and straddled his lap. She shut the door, sealing - hiding them away from prying eyes with a firm click.
Instinctively, as though he'd done it a thousand times before, Gibbs moved his hands to her slender hips, his beseeching eyes locking with hers as countless questions poured from their depths. His breath caught in his throat as he waited, the silence between the two of them heavy and telling as second by second, confusion transcended into need. Inch by inch, Abby moved her face nearer to his and by the time that their lips met, their mouths were open, their faces turning fractionally to accept that final, needy meeting.
And then they were kissing, drowning their souls with the passion that had saturated their senses. Senses that had been denied from the very first moment that they had met. Ducky had been right when he'd said that he'd seen something spark between them. All it had needed was the spark igniting, and it had finally happened, right there, tonight. Now.
Gibbs's hands blazed a path between her hips, up past her rib cage and up into the downy softness of her hair and then back down again. He couldn't keep them still; needing to explore her, imprint her shape on his addled brain before he'd forget. Not that he would. Together, as though they were connected by more than lips, they moved, deepening the contact, building a memory that would endure. But they both needed more. Had to have more.
Suddenly clothes became a barrier. Without breaking free of Gibbs's lips, Abby's fingers clawed at his T shirt, pulling it free of his jeans, tearing it on the way, the sound of ripping fabric echoing throughout the car. Dragging it roughly to a point high above his pectorals and holding the bunched up cloth tight in her fist, Abby tore herself away from Gibbs's mouth, his drugged eyes flying open, first at the loss of her tongue dancing with his and then with shock as she fixed her teeth and lips around one of the tiny puckered nipples upon his chest.
She sucked hard, deeply and he felt the pull right down in his groin, the sensation garnering a guttural moan that initially forced his head to drop back as the waves of primal need took him over. Threading his fingers through her hair, his intent to hold her there, to let her feast upon the sensitive bud lasted about as long as it took for his head to snap back forward to watch her swirling her tongue around the small aureola.
She was driving him wild. The tender fingers that caressed her scalp instantly turned into a tightly controlled fist as she suckled him, the movement drawing excruciating pleasure, leaving him writhing against her heat, unable to control himself, feeling his ardour building, threatening to explode until seconds later, when he couldn't take another moment of the madness engulfing his body, he ripped her head away from his body and back up to his head, his face mirroring the desperation that he saw upon hers. Gibbs battled hard not to use the crude expletives that filled his head. He wanted to swear. He wanted to tell her what he wanted to do to her. God, he just had to have her.
This time when their mouths met, there was only one thought on either of their minds, and it was going to happen, right then, right now. Dusk had turned into darkness, hiding them away from the eyes of the world. There was nothing to stop them.
Nothing was going to stop them.
Abby suckled upon Gibbs like a woman dying of thirst. His face, imprisoned by her tiny hands fell back against the headrest, leaving him free to concentrate on, 'other things'. Letting his hands fall back down to her hips and lower, he slipped his long fingers beneath her buttocks. Gibbs jolted with undeniable hunger when he found bare flesh. He couldn't resist it, he had to find out if she really was pantyless.
He felt her shift her body higher, allowing him the access he craved. He didn't hesitate a second longer. Sweeping his hands lower, guided by her heat, he neared his goal, and finding a thin ribbon of satin, he suddenly found himself unexplainably let down at the discovery. But it only lasted as long as it took to hear her whimper into his mouth, pleading for him to go on, to ignore the barrier that kept him away from her, lifting herself even higher away from his lap, encouraging him to take the next step.
And he did. They'd reached the point of no return. There was no going back, for either of them. Destiny had been taken out of their hands. It was down to them, to this moment. To this one magical moment. A moment that simply had to happen.
Begrudgingly breaking the kiss and once more, letting their eyes lock as the acceptance of what they were about to do cascaded over them, Gibbs reached trembling hands down and released the snap of his jeans, taking only a moment longer to shift the cumbersome denim and his underwear down to just below his knees. Just far enough down to spread his long legs and settle the woman atop of him upon his heated hardness.
The shuddering sighs they both released from their lungs had been the first indication to them that they'd been holding their breath, each so completely over-awed the power of their feelings and the exhilaration of what was about to come.
Abby trembled as she felt the rock hard rigidness of him against her softer folds that were still encased in the unwanted and damp satin. He wasn't small by any stretch of the imagination. She'd glimpsed the thick length of him as she moved back, the tiny natural movements beginning as soon as she felt him, emitting a groan from deep in his throat.
Their kisses became wilder. Open mouthed, frenzied, desperate, mimicking what their bodies craved, Abby's over-sensitized breasts rubbed against the soft jersey of Gibbs's T shirt, begging to be freed, to be touched. Perspiration dotted their skins as the heat began to build not only within the rapidly misting car but within their own bodies, both set on fire by the need that soaked their souls.
Abby squeaked with shock as she suddenly found herself torn away from Gibbs's mouth and thrust upwards by his knees, lifting her high enough for his mouth to reach her chest as his big hands spanned her rib cage, holding her in place.
Looking down onto his upturned face into eyes that were infused with desire, the last shred of uncertainty and sanity evaporated into thin air. Gibbs whispered hoarsely, "Let me in, Abbs."
Abby knew that his request was for more than one thing, and she couldn't - wouldn't deny him any of them. With one hand she shifted her T shirt down and unsnapped the lacy bra, freeing her tumescent breasts for him to devour. With her other hand, she pulled aside the wet satin strip, now saturated from both her own juices and his.
This was it. The moment. The point of no return.
Shifting her body back and forth, Abby guided Gibbs towards both her breasts and her waiting, open body. She felt the swollen tip of him against her engorged nub, it's silky smoothness now coated in her own wetness gently slid closer and closer as it searched for paradise, and then home. Soon finding it, he slowly began to enter her, latching his mouth onto a nipple, unable to stop himself from nipping it lightly as the incredible sensations enveloped him as he became one with her.
Along with the tiny high-pitched cries that left her throat, Gibbs felt the tiny ripples of her tight inner walls and for a brief moment and he thought he might be hurting her. She was so small, so delicate, and he was large, but there was no way he could stop, not now. He tried to be gentle, easing to a stop so that she could adjust to his size, but it was a war to keep himself still. He wanted to move. He needed to move; to feel her slide against him. To watch her fall apart in his arms. To connect with her on a level that went beyond what they were doing; making love.
They weren't making love. They were creating a dream, a dream that would live with them for eternity.
Gibbs tore his mouth away from her breast on a gasp and searched her face for what he wanted to see, ached to see. Unlinking her arms from around his neck, Gibbs moved his knees down so that Abby could bring her face level with his and what he saw surpassed all his hopes.
Love. It was there, written in the depths of her emerald eyes, the mirrors of her soul. He wanted to say something, anything, but words just stuck in his throat. Somehow Abby understood and tenderly tracing his face with her fingertips, she whispered brokenly, "I know, I feel it too."
The kiss that followed was nothing like the kisses that went before. Gone was the fervent hunger that consumed them, pushing beyond the brink of the madness that had taken over their bodies. As Gibbs began to move inside her again, it was done with a tenderness that defied understanding. He filled her, completely, leaving no room for anything to get between them.
Slowly they felt an inner pressure begin to engulf them. They felt it in their bodies, in what was happening within. They felt it in the kiss as it once more turned hungry, the tiny whimpers that caressed their souls with their tenderness now changed to groans that needed quenching. They felt it in their hearts as they began to overspill with emotion, the pain of the imminent and ultimate ending just a heartbeat away, reminding them that their magical dream was also at an end.
Their loving changed tempo again as they clung onto each other and rode out the tidal wave that swept them away, took them to heaven and then to hell as they realized that it was all over save for the intimate and precious time between a man and a woman after a life-changing, and earth-shattering moment.
Holding her close as they both regained their equilibrium, Gibbs showered Abby's face with tiny kisses, unable to break away from her closeness, knowing that he would soon have to. He tasted salty tears upon her cheeks and held her away from him far enough to study her face in the moonlight and his heart broke at what he saw.
"Ah, don't cry, sweetheart. I can't bare it when you cry." he croaked, feeling himself well inside with feelings that, quite frankly surprised him. Lifting his hand he gently wiped away the moisture from her chin with the pad of his thumb, struggling to hang onto his own emotions.
Her pretty face contorted with pain as she fought against another onslaught of tears that threatened. "I can't help it, Gibbs. What have we done? What in God's name have we done?" she cried, her voice breaking on her last damning question as the reality of the moment flooded her entire being.
Gibbs died, there and then. He felt his body shrivel and die and suddenly the intimate togetherness they were still joined in felt cold, unwanted and dirty. How it all go so wrong, so quickly? Love didn't die like that, did it? Was it all over before it had begun? And even though he hated the question fitting in amongst ones that were 100% more important he found him asking himself, 'Have we blown it, Abby?'
And then as soon as the question had zipped through his stunned mind he realized that he had given himself the answer.
It turned out to be the most important question of any of them. They couldn't jeopardize their jobs. Nor could they let the team down, they owed them more than that. They owed them everything and as a new question filled his mind Gibbs was already preparing himself for the immediate future.
Kissing her quickly on the lips, he somehow manoeuvred her back over to her own seat and dragged his clothing back into place, endeavouring to ignore the scents that drifted around the car from their love-making. Stifling a moan as he settled himself back into the seat, he faced Abby's questioning gaze, glad to see that his erratic actions had at least stifled her tears.
The lie slipped easily from his lips. "We've done nothing, Abbs. We're going to go home and pretend that nothing has happened between us." He stated, false confidence oozing from him.
A long silence stretched between the two spent lovers as Abby studied Gibbs across the car, not quite believing that she was hearing what she was hearing, until finally, unable to keep silent any longer, unable to react with the anger that she knew was bubbling deep down inside her. There had to be a reason for his completely outrageous statement, there just had to be.
"So, what just did happen between us, Gibbs?" she sniffed, wiping the last wave of tears from her face. "I mean, I know you can be a good actor, but I'm pretty sure that what we just did was not all an act."
Gibbs watched her shake her head and he knew at that moment just what was going through her pretty head. Was it an act? Could he have acted with that much feeling? Gibbs closed his eyes to hide the pain that flickered in them. Did he lie to her again? Did he tell her that it 'was' all an act, that it was just a ploy to get her to loosen up for him?
Or did he tell her the truth; that making love to her had been the most beautiful experience of his life and that he wanted more. Much more?
Suddenly that one question that rattled around in his brain became defunct. He could no more lie to her than he could lie to himself. He wanted Abby Sciuto for keeps, forever. He wanted to make love to her every day for the rest of his life. One day, he wanted marriage, babies, the house in the country, the white picket fence. He wanted her. Period.
But not yet. Not for a while. But could they wait? Could he wait?
"Be my girl, Abby."
The sudden shocked silence that invaded the car came from both its occupants. Did he really just say that. Did he really just ask her to date him? To go steady?
Abby began to laugh. First it started off as a stuttered, teary giggle and then it turned into full-bloodied disbelieving laughter. Gibbs watched her through heavy lidded eyes as the woman he'd just propositioned, the only woman he'd asked to go beyond casual for eons, fell to pieces with laughter before him.
The seriousness of the situation began to sink in as he absorbed, not only her reaction, but the way his gut twisted with the adventure that they were about to start on, hopefully.
And then the laughter died as Abby realised that he wasn't laughing along with her. "Gibbs?" she asked, the smile dying upon her face to be replaced by intense curiosity.
"Gibbs?" she repeated, and then it finally sunk in. "Oh, my God! You're serious!" she spluttered.
Silence once more, just for a minute and then a smile began to break upon Gibbs's face until he was grinning like an idiot. "Of course I'm serious. I want us to be a couple, Abby. Maybe take it further." At her opened-mouthed surprise, he explained himself better, seriousness etching his impetuous words. "Well, not yet, anyway. Maybe in a year or two. Maybe."
He took a deep breath and held her stunned gaze. "Well, whaddaya say. Will you go out with me, Abby? Because what I think of you is worth exploring further." He leaned forward, close enough for her to see the flare of desire in his pale eyes, and continued shyly, "And I love what you do to me."
Gibbs reached his hand over and tenderly pulled her closer, his lips searching for hers in the dimness of the car. His voice lowered as he continued huskily against her mouth, "I love what you did to me and I don't want you to stop doing it. Go out with me, Abbs, and then when we're really ready we can maybe take it further." He pleaded.
Abby studied the handsome man that sat beside her, basked in the moonlit shadows that permeated the cars darkened interior. They were young, but not that young. But they had a few years to go before time pressed in on them to have the family that they both clearly wanted.
She nodded shyly but confidence poured from her heart. "Alright, Jethro Gibbs, I'll go out you." And then she grinned. "But you've gotta lose the attitude when you're with me, okay?"
Gibbs laughed, "Okay, it's a done deal." He promised. And then as they sealed their union with a kiss that promised more, Gibbs's stomach growled. They both giggled as they broke apart and as a pained looked wreathed his smiling face, Gibbs whined, "Can we go eat now, I'm starved?"
Settling herself back into the seat and sliding the seatbelt into place, Abby roared with laughter again. "Okay, big boy, dinner it is, and then we've got some serious making up to do. Somehow I think it'll be a breeze for us tonight, don't you?" she added slyly.
"Why?" Gibbs asked, shifting the seat back to its original position and fastening his own seatbelt.
"Because I plan on making up in my bedroom. You don't think I'll let you forgive me on the first night, do you, Gibbs?" she asked, planting her tongue firmly back in her cheek again to control the wave of laughter and excitement that bubbled up when her mind conjured up the night that they were about to happily endure.
Comprehension dawned and a grin spread across his face. "Somehow our little moments alone in your lab are never going to be the same again, are they Abbs?"
"No, Gibbs." She smiled. "No, they aren't."