Disclaimer: I don't own Death note or the lyrics to Linkin Parks In the end
A/N: Not sure were this came from.... I was supposed to be working on the first chapter of a different L/Light project I'm trying to get going, but I guess I wasn't really in the mood and came up with this instead... -.-'
EDIT: I had a few people mentioning that the lyrics in the middle were unnecessary and I agree. I didn't intend for this to be a songfic, so I've fixed it now. Oh, and I also fixed the ending btw ^^
He had lost. Light Yagami had failed, fallen into his own trap.
His plan had been flawless, he would give up the death note and regain his memories once he found it again. Him coming in contact with the note would bee inevitable once the task force started to investigate it and Light knew that that would be his chance to strike.
His chance to kill L.
But he hadn't thought about the personality change. He hadn't taken his would-be, memory-less self into account.
How was he to know that he would fall for the detective, the man who wanted nothing more then to see his downfall?
Light Yagami thought he was incapable of love. Sure, he had felt attraction before, but that only been skin-deep. He never thought it would come down to this...
Maybe it was Stockholm syndrome, maybe he had just gone mad after the confinement, or maybe he truly loved him, no strings attached...
It didn't matter how it had happened.
He supposed it was inevitable that he would feel something, being handcuffed to the man 24/7. Feelings of some sort were bound to arise when one spent so much time together with another human.
Maybe L had counted on that. He certainly hadn't objected when Light started to make advances.
When Light had been weighed down with the trauma of mock-execution, he had sought comfort in L's presence. He had let the man see him in a humiliating level of desperation, when he weeks after the event would suffer from night terrors.
He had held him when Light, still not in full conscious state, had been sobbing his eyes out, thinking his dad was about to put a bullet through his head.
When Light had tried to bond with the detective, L hadn't declined. When Light had wanted to chat, L had been there to talk, even though he wasn't a social person. Even when Light had felt the need to get rid of all his pent up frustration, L had let him use him as a punching bag.
Okay, so maybe the last statement was pushing it a bit, since L always fought back.
But all that hadn't been enough for Light. He always wanted, no needed more. L was just so... mesmerising. So Light had, in a moments laps of judgment, kissed him.
And after a few moments of stunned silence, L had kissed him back. Light hadn't been anticipating this, but was pleased never the less. But he hadn't planned on repeating the action. He was the top-rated, highly respected son of Soichiro Yagami, head of the NPA. He couldn't go around kissing guys.
But L was like a drug. One taste and Light was hooked. The sweet, almost innocent taste on the detectives lips were enough to drive Light to do it again. And again. And again.
It hadn't taken long before the kisses became less and less innocent, Light pushing their relationship further and further.
L never said no.
It wasn't until now that Light realized that it was all one sided. He didn't mean a thing to L. The detective had seen it all as a game, or maybe he saw it as a way to get Light to admit to being Kira.
Light had asked for more then friendship and L had given it to him without a second thought.
Light had always known that L knew no limits. Heck, he had wanted Light to to the same thing L had done to him with Misa, just to see if she would reveal anything!
Why hadn't he just seen L for what he really was? Why hadn't he seen him as a moral-less, sick bastard that lived a life built on lies? Maybe then he wouldn't...
Even now, he couldn't blame it on L. Light only had himself to blame for this. After all, it was him who had crumbled. It wasn't L that had given in. It wasn't L that had been stupid enough to fall for his enemy.
Given the chance, Light would change his actions. Even though the world needed him, called for his justice, he was a selfish person. If he had the chance, he wouldn't have regained his memories. He would rather have been stuck in that time in blissful oblivion, fighting to prove his innocence.
He had made up his mind quickly. There was no point in a utopia without L. L was his obsession, the only thing that occupied his mind, embedding himself into Lights brain and screwing with his mind.
L and Kira couldn't co-exist.
Light wasn't stupid, he knew that L wouldn't rest until Kira, he,was either behind bars or dead. Whatever L felt like.
Even though Light would have been willing to compromise, he knew that L never could. L had always seen himself as justice. Light wasn't sure when L had started his career, but it must have been early. Really early, because the belief in himself ran so deep.
So Light had given in.
He remembered the cold. He was sure it had been raining to, but the distinct thing that popped into Lights mind when he thought back to when he had come clean was the cold. It had chilled him to the bone, making his limbs tremble and he had wanted nothing more then to go back inside.
But L had wanted to go up onto the roof of HQ and Light had followed. And then he had told him, uttered the three simple words.
"I am Kira."
"Light-kun, is that a confession?"
"Yes, it is."
To L's credit, he hadn't blinked. He hadn't punched Light in the face. He hadn't shouted at him. He just stood their, studying Light with his usual, calculating gaze and nodded.
"I thought so."
After that, he had been cuffed, arrested and interrogated. He told them everything, from how he found the notebook up to where he was now, only leaving out the details about him and L. He never answered them when they asked why he confessed, that was a secret he would bring to his grave.
He had been put on death row, just like he had hoped. Who would want to spend the rest of their life stuck in prison? Then again, Ryuk would have killed him anyway. He was actually wandering why Ryuk had let him live this long. Was he sticking around to watch his death, or was he just waiting for the perfect time to strike?
It didn't really matter.
Light had lost.
He was out of the game, either way.
All he could do now was sit in his empty prison cell and wait for death to come.
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter