Who would have thought that of every person on the planet, the sister of the Russian psycho would be the mother of his awesome babies? Certainly not Gilbert. No; never in his wildest dreams did he imagine settling down (or whatever it was for him) with Ukraine. Okay, so his wildest dreams never even really involved settling down. Much less with her. Point made.

Katya wasn't psycho. Not even close. She was a soft, loving parent with an obvious adoration for her dear children. The only problem was she was turning Prussia's only son and daughter into a pair of freaking mice. Too timid to stand up to a fly. This was a fact that was very not awesome. Sure, he cared a whole damn lot for the innocent-faced blonds. Why wouldn't he? But sometimes…he found the task of parenting to be quite boring.

Prussia mused on all these things as the two children climbed into his lap. "Oi, what do you think you're doing?" He said softly.

"Mama said we're all reading a story." Nichlaus stared up at him like this was obvious. "It's your turn to pick."

Oh boy. Story time. It was an activity Gilbert often found tedious. "I get to pick?"

The pair nodded.

He sighed as Katya joined him on the couch with their children. He didn't have the slightest clue what type of thing they'd want to hear, so he picked up the nearest book of fairytales and flipped to a page. "How's Hansel and Gretel sound?"

"We haven't heard that one, Vati." Heidi smiled shyly. "What's it about?"

"Uh, I can't remember. But I used to read it to your Uncle West all the time. " He shrugged, preparing to speak. " 'There were once two children called Hansel and Gretel whose mother had died when they were very small.'"

Ukraine looked as horrified as her children. "Their mother…died?"

He sighed. "Oh, my mistake. It says 'There were once two children called Hansel and Gretel whose mother hadn't died when they were very small."

She nodded, seeming to deem this more appropriate for her darling syn anddon'ka.

"'One bitter winter evening, when they were in bed, Hansel and Gretel overheard their stepmoth-' -um- 'mother say to their father, "If we don't get rid of the children, we'll all starve to death."

Heidi gasped in horror, starting to cry a bit. "Their mother wanted to abandon them?!"

"Nein, leibling!" He rushed to wipe away her tears. Prussia looked to Ukraine for help; only to find that she had started to cry herself. His son let out a wail, forcing him to once again edit the story. "'One bitter evening, when they were in bed, Hansel and Gretel overheard their mother say to their father, "I love my children so much!"

Everyone calmed.

"'The next day, the whole family went for a walk. Hansel laid pebbles on the ground in case they got lost. At noon, the parents lit a fire and promised to return, but they never did.'"

"So they got lost too?" Nichlaus went right back to wailing. "I don't like this story! Too many bad things happen!"

"Yes, Gilbert. Perhaps we shouldn't read this one."

He lost it. "Oh! So everything has to nice and perfect all the time because it might upset them? Have you ever realized that maybe real life isn't always completely happy, Katya?" The sarcasm dripped from his voice.

Surprisingly, she didn't even whimper in response. "Gilbert, can I talk to you?" She lifted the astonished children off his lap and waved them away.

"Sure." He huffed.

Once Heidi and Nichlaus were out of earshot, she whispered, "They embarrass you, don't they?"

"No! It's just that…you're always so…"

"Protective?"

He leaned back, staring at the ceiling as though it might hold the answer to all his current troubles. "We can't shield them from everything, no matter how hard we try. Personally, I figured they might as well be exposed to evil stepmothers because someday they're going to have to face something worse."

"That isn't what this about. You wish they were more like you."

"What?"

"You've always been hoping they'd become more mischievous. Especially Nichlaus- you're always so hard on him. Always telling him not to cry, to be a man."

"I never said that." He rolled his eyes. "I told him Prussian men don't cry; they kick ass."

"Gilbert." She suddenly started to cry a little. "I only want to be a perfect mother. I made so many mistakes when I was taking care of Ivan and Natalya…just look at what happened to them. I love them dearly, don't get me wrong. It's just…I could have done better. I want to do better for our children."

"They're aren't going to get screwed up over a children's story. They're too awesome for that. I mean, c'mon. Let's face it; your brother and sister were beyond help from the get-go."

Katya bit her lip. "Please don't say that."

"I didn't mean to offend you, Leibe." He brushed the short hair from her face and planted a light kiss on her forehead. "I was just saying that it wasn't your fault. But hey. How about a deal?"

"Hmm?"

"I'll read them a happier story and be a little less harsh, and I get to take them out on a crime spree every now and again." He smirked against her hair, pulling her into an embrace.

"Something a little less than crime, at least." She stuttered.

"Fine. I get to teach them the proper art of bothering an Austrian."

Ukraine smiled a little bit, almost giggling. "As long as they don't get hurt."

"Okay, deal. But I don't guarantee the Austrian won't get hurt."

"So, what will you read them now?"

"Dunno, Snow White, maybe? I remember reading that one to West too."

"Doesn't the girl die in that?" She put a hand to her mouth to suppress a little gasp.

"Don't worry." He kissed her once again, but this time full on the lips. "Vati knows what he's doing." He sat up and shouted. "Heidi! Nichlaus! Come back here. I'm going to read another story!"

There was no reply.

"Gilbert, what happened!?" Katya led him from the couch, in tears once again. "My babies! Where are they?" She quickly went frantic, rushing into every nearby room while calling their childrens' names.

"We're in here, Mama." Heidi said in her tiny little voice.

The pair followed the sound to the kitchen. Their children were sitting on the floor, dumping a white powder into a sugar shaker.

"I think there's enough sugar in that, moja."

"But it's not sugar, Mama." Nichlaus grinned.

"Then what is it?" She blinked confusedly.

"Salt!" They exclaimed in unison.

"We wanted to do something bad." Heidi looked to her father, pride apparent in her round face.

Their mother looked to them, ready to scold. She was, however, interrupted by a rather enthusiastic cheer.

"THERE'S HOPE!" Prussia picked up his son and daughter, practically hugging them to death.

Ukraine was about to ask him not to encourage them, but she let him have this moment of triumph.

There was a bit of mischievous hope for the Prussian youths.


Translations:

Syn and Don'ka- Ukrainian for" son and daughter".

Nein, Leibling: German for "No, darling."

Moja: Ukranian for "my baby"


Wow. It's been that long since an update? -Is sorry- D: I haven't had regular access to a computer in so long~ But I have my computer back (well, it's technically a different one, because my old one was apparently fried beyond repair…way to go me!... but I got a new one 8D) so I now present you with an update! Consider it an early Christmas present. (Or whatever holiday you celebrate)

Yeah. About the pairing. I have NO idea where this came from. Everyone I pair Gil with was already taken…so Ukraine showed up in my head. Now I ship this couple HARD!!!~ XD

Also, this chapter is dedicated to KagomeGirl92. She drew a lovely fanart of Damita and Fiorella http:// .com/ art/ Cousins-on-the-Flowerfield- 145046411

An adorable one of Luke http:// .com/ art/ Shichi-Go-San- 145699145

And then a really cute (shotaconish *cough cough*) one of Eric and the son of Denmark of Norway (who I still need to add to the story) http:// .com/ art/ A-Flower-for-You- 145879030

(Take out the spaces)

I'm very thankful to her ^.^

Anyways, sorry for the update gap!

-Lissa

(PS: I don't own Hetalia. But I put it on my list to Santa :P I also asked for some reviews. I hope I get them~)