Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Anything. ... God.
... Master Professor wanted a fight: Sephiroth and Xehanort vs. Darth Vader and Darth Maul.
"LET GO OF MY HAIR, YOU TWAT!"
"SHUT UP! YOUR HAIR'S PRETTY!"
"OUR HAIR IS THE SAME COLOR!"
"YOUR HAIR'S SHINIER!"
"WHAT'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!"
"IT'S VERY IMPORTANT! NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME BRAID YOUR HAIR!"
Yes. That gay conversation was by Sephiroth (the first voice) and Xehanort, Ansem's first appprentice (the second voice). God knows how in the world these two managed to be on the same time, let alone be in the same place.
There was a warping sound, and Darth Vader and Darth Maul appeared.
"You copy-cats!" growled Darth Maul. "We'll finish you, once and for all!"
Sephiroth and Xehanort blinked at them. "What?"
"GET YOUR WEAPONS!" snarled Darth Vader, pulling out his light sabers. "TIME TO FIGHT!"
"I hate Star Wars," Sephiroth complained, getting out his Masamune.
"I hate their light sabers," pouted Xehanort. "I don't even have any weapons."
"Just try to outsmart them."
"... I can do that."
All sides rushed at each other, weapons drawn at the ready.
Except for Xehanort, who started spewing out math problems.
"What's 8x plus 78 minus 47 times 37y if x is 13 and y is 20?!" he demanded.
Darth Vader fell to his knees. "NOOOOOOOO!" he yelled in horror. "I can't do that kind of math in my head!"
And with that, his head exploded.
Darth Maul and Sephiroth paused in their battle to stare at the remains. "... That was sweet."
"Ahem!" coughed Xehanort.
The masked man and the silver-haired man blinked. "Oh, yeah. Sorry."
They resumed their battle.
"OH YOU BASTARD!" screeched Sephiroth as Darth Maul shoved his light saber into his gut. In retaliation, Sephiroth swiftly pushed his own sword into Darth Maul's heart, piercing through the metal.
Xehanort exclaimed, "Firaga!" and Darth Maul burned to ashes.
"... Can I braid your hair now?"
"How about now?"
"What about now?"
"NO. SHUT UP."