Chapter 6

Desires

Rated M


It took a while, but I eventually managed to shake off my melancholy and stepped slightly out of Draco's comforting and possessive embrace, creating enough of a gap between us that I could tilt my head back and cup his face with my hands.

"I love you," I said fiercely. "No matter what anyone says or does, nobody will stop me from loving you, and they won't ever convince me that this," I tightened my hold on his face slightly, wanting to convey the depth of my feelings, "…that us is wrong."

His blue grey eyes widened at my heartfelt confession, and as he bent down to place a tender kiss on my lips I could almost feel the love emanating from his body, permeating the air and washing away the hurt and heartache that resided in my stomach, a pulsating black mass created by my so called best friend and the people I had once considered not only my closest friends but my family as well.

"I love you too," he murmured back as he broke the sweet contact of our lips. "So much that it hurts sometimes. When I think about the things that I used to say to you," his voice broke then and he lurched backwards, almost staggering as what could only be described as pure anguish crossed his face, "that I hurt you in the same way that he just did," he gestured towards the letter that was now lying on the floor with an absent flick of his hand. Then he sighed, and crumpled down onto the sofa behind him, head lowered in what I assumed to be regret.

I sat myself down on the floor next to his feet and lay my head on his lap. A sound that resembled something very much like a purr rumbled in my chest, threatening to escape as Draco's scent surrounded me completely, making me feel as if I was wrapped up in a warm comforting blanket. The purr, for it couldn't be called anything but, did escape however, as Draco slowly carded his hand through my hair, creating a sensual but loving rhythm that left me (most of me) resembling a pile of goo. A certain part of me rebelled against the feeling however, a bit too eager for our mates loving attention. I squirmed slightly against the floor, craving some sort of friction, some sort of release that felt just out of my reach. I closed my eyes, and buried my face further into Draco's lap, further into his delightful smell and arousing warmth, allowing the fabric of his pants to stifle the small whine of frustration that escaped me. A dark chuckle met my ears, and Draco's large hand tugged firmly but softly against my hair. I looked into his eyes and felt another involuntary whine leave me, this time prompted by the unabashed lust shining in my Dominant's eyes.

"What are you doing Harry?" He asked in a deep voice, rough with desire that sent shivers throughout my body.

I shifted my hips again slightly, unconsciously, until my now aching cock brushed against Draco's calf, moaning loudly at the contact.

The hand in my hair tightened however, and a pained gasp left my lips. My eyes, that had wandered to where my body met his at such an intimate level, flew back to his and I noticed that what had been lust moments before had been replaced by irritation and disapproval.

I stopped my movements, which had continued on without direct though, at once at the displeasure displayed by my mate. Resting back on my heels, I tilted my head, bearing my neck and my body to him as an offering.

He sat still for a moment, before releasing the grip on my hair that had begun to sting.

"I asked you a direct question Sub," he stated softly, but with an edge to his tone that proved he was serious. "I don't appreciate being ignored, nor do I appreciate my Submissive attempting to rut against me without my permission or my approval. Do you understand?"

I nodded, my Veela instincts preventing me from speaking, in hopes to abate our mates anger.

"When I ask you a question, in passing or directly I expect you to answer me, to give me your attention and your honesty. Do you understand me Submissive?" His voice was harder then, demanding an answer.

"Yes Dominant," I replied.

"You are my responsibility Harry," voice slightly softer now, he reached forward and resumed his caressing of my hair. "That means that I love and respect you with my entire being. I would lay down my life for you, not only because of our bond, not just because of our bloodlines, but because I am devoted entirely to you, to my Submissive, to my mate, to my Harry. But I need to know that you are willing to listen to me, to respect me and to attend me no matter how trivial it may seem. You doing that is the only way I can assure that you are safe, and that if need be, you will obey my demands without question."

A tear slid down my face, clinging onto the contours of my cheek, before it fell, twisting and twirling until it landed against the floor with a silent splash. The hand that had been caringly petting me moved to my chin, tilting my head upwards from my submissive pose to meet his eyes. Draco swiped his fingers gently across my cheek, wiping away the remnants of my tear, before dropping his hand back to his side.

"I don't want you upset my love," he crooned softly. "I'm not angry with you. Nor am I trying to control you. But I think it's well past the time that we discussed this, don't you?"

"Yes Draco," I whispered, the twisting in my gut abating slightly, but not disappearing completely, remaining so as to remind me of my failure. "I'm sorry Draco. I didn't even think…I didn't mean to displease you…I'll be better, I'll do better I promise, please don't hate me…" I could feel myself getting slightly hysterical. Draco, from the very beginning of our relationship had been nothing but kind and loving to me, doing everything he possibly could to please me, to show his love for me. And yet I had been nothing but selfish. Pushing him away, running away from him, and refusing to acknowledge him as my mate and prove to him that he was the most cherished thing in my life.

He growled then, shortly, in displeasure and moved forward as to bodily pick me up and place me on his lap. Tugging me into his arms, he kissed me softly on the cheek, the nose and then softly on the lips.

"Nothing you do could ever make me hate you," he replied sternly. "I'm not angry at you and I don't want you to be upset. I just want you to think about your actions. This was a completely trivial matter," he said with a small chuckle. "But I rather we talk about this now, rather than later when, Merlin forbid, we are in a situation that requires you to obey me without question. I'm not trying to control you or be unreasonable. But I have to consider your safety. Are you okay with that?" This was said with a hint of nervousness, as if he was unsure of himself and I realised then that Draco, despite being extremely confident and dominating by nature, was just as new to this as I was. For some reason, that warmed me inside, dissolving my previous panic and leaving me with a sense of contentment.

I nestled my head into his neck, nuzzling at his warm flesh briefly before answering.

"I am more than okay with it Draco. I didn't think for one moment that you were being unreasonable or controlling at all. I know it doesn't excuse my actions, but this is all so new to me, to us, and although I hate the thought of it I know that I'm going to make more mistakes, am going to screw it up somehow. Who knows," I smiled up at him impishly, "you might even make a mistake here of there yourself."

He snorted, but I could see the corner of his mouth lift slightly in amusement and knew that my cheekiness had been excused.

"But that's why we are here. By some pure luck, you are the person who completes me, who grounds me and who I know I can trust implicitly. And for you, I am the person who will never betray you, who will love you unconditionally now and forever. We're going to make mistakes Draco," I said in earnest, "there are going to be times where you have to knock me down a peg, to growl at me and let me know that I've gone too far. But it's only through communication that we are going to be able to make this work. Please," I asked, now beseeching, "don't ever doubt yourself. I trust you with my life. If I ever feel as if you are out of line, you need to trust in me that I will say something, just as I trust that you will let me know if you are unhappy or unsatisfied with me or my behaviour. Is that alright with you?"

I placed my hands around his neck cautiously, not wanting to step over the line, but needing to have more contact with him.

He sighed deeply, but wrapped his arms around my waist, shifting me slightly so that I was now straddling his muscular thighs.

"It's more that okay," he answered softly. "What you said then was perfect. I do trust you Harry, more than anyone in the world, and the thought of you doing the same," he shook his head. "Its amazing. I love you."

He kissed me then, his lips warm and reassuring against my own, the pressure firm but yielding. 'Much like him,' I thought dazedly as I allowed myself to surrender to his kiss. His soft wet tongue reached out, in search of its mate and I yielded it up readily, moaning into the kiss as I felt myself become completely surrounded by the touch, smell, taste of my mate; allowing myself to become completely immersed in the sensory overload that he provided. His powerful hands gripped my hips, and I could feel him consciously rein in his strength as he pulled me closer to him, until we were plastered together, chest to chest, groin to groin.

He pulled back from the kiss and moved his hot lips to my ear. "I have no problem with you taking advantage of me now," he said. "In fact," he whispered huskily, his warm breath caressing my ear, "I entirely approve."

He paired this comment with a swift upwards thrust of his hips, contrastingly pulling my hips down to meet his aching hardness. I threw my head back and moaned loudly, keeping my hands anchored around his neck in order to keep myself upright. I could feel his hard cock against mine through the thin fabric of his pants, and the combination of his smell, the friction and the short, sharp gasps that he emitted was slowly but surely sending me careering towards a cliff. He pulled my mouth back to his, and I submitted immediately in relief, allowing him to search and plunder as he so wished. His current attentions, plus the arousal that had remained smouldering in my lower body prompted my body to be engulfed in a need that was so consuming it hurt.

"Draco," I panted into his mouth, "so close. Please, more, more!"

He groaned lustily, the noise sending bolts or arousal down my already achingly hard dick. Moving his mouth to my neck, he licked a strip from my collarbone to just underneath my ear.

"Come for me," he whispered. "Come now."

And with that, he bit down into my neck and I came undone. My body stiffened, every muscle contorting into pure pleasure, euphoric bliss as I came hard, shuddering from the high. Draco moaned and I felt his body stiffen against mine, in a primal dance that our bodies knew implicitly. I watched as he mirrored my own climax, watched as pleasure raced across his heart-wrenchingly beautiful face as he came undone.

Finally we collapsed against each other, completely spent. Wrapping one arm around me, he pulled me forwards until he was lying along the sofa, with my on top of him, held in place by his loving embrace. With the other hand he shifted, reaching for his wand. Grasping it, he pulled it out and muttered a quick cleaning spell that rid us of the sweat and come we were covered in.
We lay there for some time, revelling in our closeness and love for one another. Eventually, however, I shifted slightly, propping my chin up on his chest so as to search his face.

"Dray?" I said quietly. He grunted in acknowledgment and opened his eyes to meet my own. "I don't hate you for what you used to say to me, or for how you used to act. It's all in the past," I assured, wanting him to know just how strongly I felt on the subject, "and for everything you said to me I can assure I said something back of equal or worse intent."

Some small amount of tension that I hadn't even been aware of left his face, and he smiled at me unabashedly.

"I love you," he said simply.

"I love you too. More than anything."


Eventually we moved off of the couch. Stretching my cramped limbs out, I moved towards the desk that my familiar lay open, all three pairs of eyes closed as they slept. Picking them up, and murmuring soft apologies as they hissed in displeasure, I placed them in their tank, tapping the heating rock with my wand so that it emitted a pleasing warmth. I turned, smiling fondly, but stopped abruptly as I saw Draco holding Ron's previously forgotten letter.

Draco's eyes met mine, searchingly for a brief moment before he asked, "can I read it?" I nodded in assent, and watched from where I was rooted in place as he skimmed the messily written message. Finally, he crumpled it with one fist and strode towards the fireplace. Muttering a quick 'incendio' he threw the ball of parchment into the flames. Then he turned back towards me, grabbing my hand in a soft embrace before tugging me towards my bedroom. In silent understanding, we shed our clothing, down to our boxers, before climbing into my bed. As soon as he had pulled the covers tightly over my shoulders, ensuring that no part of my body was exposed to the slightly chilly air, he arranged me so that his arms were wrapped tightly around me, my back against his chest, his face propped on top of my neck.

"He's an idiot," he said finally, breaking the silence in the room. "They all are. If they are willing to give up on this Bill, on you, then they aren't worthy of your love."

"Everyone has just been so accepting," I said, eyes closed tightly against the thought of Ron's and the Weasley's hate. "I just wasn't expecting it."

He sighed, his breath ruffling my hair. "Although they are pureblood, they are blood traitors. When I say that, when other purebloods say that we aren't referring to their commitment to the Light side, but rather their acceptance of the muggle world." I stiffened slightly at that, but released the tension as Draco bent his head and lightly nipped at my neck.

"I don't mean that in the way you are thinking," he said, "but rather that they have allowed new ideas, concepts such as muggle religion, Christianity or what not, to taint their beliefs. Instead of honouring the true ways, the Old ways of the Solstices and Old Gods, they corrupt themselves. Magic is what we born with, and we should honour it. I can assure you with absolute certainty that we will hear nothing but congratulations from the members of my house, despite allegiances and previous hatreds, because they, as purebloods, acknowledge that magic is a gift, that what we have is a gift given to us by the Gods and that it is sacred.

I was sceptical of this, but kept my doubts to myself, listening to Draco intently.

"With few exceptions, you will find that most half-bloods or muggleborns are weaker than those with pure magical blood. Not only do we receive magical training from a younger age than those who come from outside our world, we have the magic in our blood, the strength passed on through generation to generation. Though again you have exceptions to this, Crabbe and Goyle for example, what I say is true. And I think that you will find, in the cases of extremely strong half-bloods and muggleborns that they will be closely related to squibs with a strong magical genealogy. Squibs themselves are extremely rare, a type of genetic mutation, but you will find that many squibs have sired children with normal magical abilities."

"But how does this relate to the Weasleys?" I asked, fascinated by what Draco was saying, but somewhat confused.

"The wizarding world, or at least the parts of it that have protected themselves from muggle influences, is not in any way prejudice against homosexuality. I mean," he said with a chuckle, "when you consider creatures such as centaurs and mermaids that require what some would call bestiality, two men or two women together is hardly something to blink over, especially when magic, what we consider to be our life blood, commands it to be so. But sometimes people, families such as the Weasleys forget what it truly is to be magical, what it means to honour and respect our gifts. When that happens, they welcome outside influences, the muggle ways. I'm the first to admit that some muggle ways are fascinating, but many go against beliefs that our fundamental to our society, to our lifestyle. This is just one example." He paused then, before questioning, "does that make some more sense? Does it clarify why they are acting that way?"

I thought about his words, words that went against everything I thought I knew. But, despite my instinct to reject what he had told me, I knew without a doubt that Draco would never lie to me, especially about something as important as this. And, thinking on it a bit more, thinking of people such as the Dursleys, of Aunt Marge and their inherent hatred for gays, magic, different races, I couldn't say that what Draco was saying rang false.

"Yeah," I said eventually. "I can see what you are saying. It doesn't mean I don't have questions, 'cause I do, loads of them, but I believe you. And in a way it does make me feel better." I shifted backwards into my mate's warm embrace and sighed. "Like I said before, the idea that what we have is wrong is mind-boggling. If that's the reason why they think like that, I can't say that I'm really that surprised, especially considering the muggles I know."

I sighed again but continued. "All I know is that I love you and that you love me and that together we will always be whole. That's a lot more than most can hope for, and I feel so lucky that we have that. And for now, that's enough. Now," I said, turning around so as to face him. "You kind of wore me out before," I felt myself blush slightly as a lecherous grin replaced the faint worry on Draco's face, "so how about we go to sleep, and talk about this more in the morning. Is that okay with you?"

"More than okay," he said, kissing my lips gently, before tugging me closer to him. "I love you, sleep well."

"I love you too," I replied, voice already muffled with sleep. "Goodnight."


AN: WOW IT HAS BEEN SO LONG! I am so sorry, it's as if I just woke up one morning and it had been over a year since I updated! Thankyou so much for all of your continued support and reviews despite my absence, I can't even begin to tell you just how much they keep me going and motivated!

Love you all!

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Loveofmyexistance