AN: So what do I do when off ill from college? Do I study what I'll be missing? No, I write. I wanted to write the next chapter of my main fic (My Someone Else's Life, check it out) but having been run off my feet between college and rowing and a family wedding and consequently having zero time to write, I decided to write a few wee drabbles as a warm up. Honestly, it's annoyed the hell out of me not being able to write. I've been experiencing withdrawl symptoms. I think I'm addicted.... As soon as I finish uploading this, I'm off to write more of MSEL. Promise. Well, I hope you like these drabbles and I hope you let me know what you think. :)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters, nor do I own any of the songs. Please don't sue me. I'm just a poor student; I have nothing you would want! :'(
How you are my hero
How you're never here though
Remember times when you put me on your shoulders
How I wish it was forever you would hold us
Right now I'm too young to know
How in the future it will affect me when you go
You could have had it all
You, me, and mum y`know
Anything was possible
(Daddy's Gone, Glasvegas)
Why did you leave us Dad? Why weren't Mom and Dan and me not good enough for you? Why won't you come back, Dad? I know you and Mom argue… but why did you leave us, Dad?
At school, I see all the other kids with their Dads and I get jealous. Because you weren't there. And the Dad's Day when you didn't show up?
I only see you once a week now. Why?
Even with everything and even though you're not here, I still find it hard not to respect you and I still love you, Dad.
But I think that if you loved us like we love you… you never would have left us.
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
(Here's To The Night, Eve6)
It's like listening to a song on repeat. They know the beats of each bar, the words of each verse. They know exactly how it will go, but they do it again anyway.
They both know it's doomed. It's doomed before it even begins. Because he only wants her when she's with someone else and because they both run at the first sign of trouble.
But that's what they're doing right now. Lying beside each other in this on call room.
He knows that this moment will end soon. Because it always ends too soon with them. They're snap back to reality. She'll go back to her fiancé and he'll go to his pregnant girlfriend.
When reality returns, he'll bury all those unanswered questions that are racing around his mind.
Like always, it's all over far too quickly.
I float away
Down the Forth, into the sea
I think I'll save suicide for another day.
(Floating in the Forth, Frightened Rabbit)
She thinks about it a lot. She could walk into the lake, put some rocks into her pockets so she wouldn't be able to swim back to the top and then… it would all be over.
She wonders if anyone would be upset if it happened. When she died. Probably not. Dad doesn't really care. She tries to talk to him about something, anything, but he thinks the answer is to give her money. Mom constantly calls her fat. Or ugly. Tells her that no man will ever love her. She's been told on many an occasion that she was never supposed to exist. And her brothers. Well, they wouldn't exactly miss her if she wasn't there.
She could do it right now. The pockets of her school blazer would fit a few rocks to weigh her down. And she could put some in her backpack. Nobody would find her to stop her until the rowers came out to train. By that time, it would be too late anyway.
She could do it right now.
She turns around and sees Drew Millar walking towards her.
"Theatre Club are holding auditions for Romeo and Juliet. You coming?"
She could do it. Right now.
"Yeah," she sighs. "I'm coming."
She stands up and gives a long look over the lake before walking away.
Maybe another day.
Looks like I'm growing, I'm growing up beside you
(Growing Up Beside You, Paolo Nutini)
They're attendings now.
It's amazing how far they've all come since that first day, JD thinks as he walks out of the hospital. They've gone from those scared little interns to the people they are now. He feels like they can all call themselves doctors now.
They've grown to rely on each other too. He knows that he could turn to any of them for help if he needed it. And he'd do anything for them too. Sure, they've had their moments when their relationships have hit the rocks and they've had to work their asses off to repair the damage, but who hasn't?
Now, when he looks back, he can't remember what it was like before he met Turk, Elliot, Carla. And he can't imagine where he'd be now without them.
Jesus is just a Spanish boy's name.
How come one man got so much fame?
To enemy, it's pointless to anybody
That doesn't have faith
Give me the cloth and I'll wipe my face.
(Head Rolls Off, Frightened Rabbit)
He and Paige sit on the bedroom floor. Mom and Dad are arguing again. Well, when he says arguing, he really means that Dad is beating the crap out of Mom.
Paige, innocently playing with her dolls, asks the question, "Do you think Daddy loves us?"
No, he wants to say. But Paige is his little sister and she's lost enough of her innocence already without him taking more away with honesty. "Maybe."
"Mom says he does. She says loves us a lot but he gets angry sometimes. She says he doesn't mean it."
Yeah, right then, Perry thinks.
It's silent in the room, and the children pretend they can't hear what's going on in the other room.
"Jesus loves us."
"That's what they say at Sunday School. Jesus cares about everyone and protects everyone and loves everyone. Jesus loves us."
Perry doesn't say anything, but mentally he scoffs.