Hellooo!!! Well.. I finally did it, I posted a fanfic I wrote.. -happydance- Now I just have to worry about rabid fangirls tracking me down for being so mean to Squalo T^T even I feel bad for what I put him through~!
EDIT: Currently working on the sequel seeing as so many people asked for it :3 so this is now considered the preface to Consequences are the end of us. I'll have the new chapter up within the next few days :D
Warnings: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! If you dont like it, you can leave. Has not been Beta'ed, so please point out any mistakes ^_^ Noncon, meaning rape.. so yeahs...
Disclaimer: I do not own KHR! Though Gokudera does live in my closet sometimes to check out my Tsuna porn...
Consequences are the end of us.
"What do you want trash?" the deep voice demanded into the phone as the man threw his pen down in frustration of being interrupted.
"I am merely calling to give you information Xanxus" Lal Mirchs voice said with a hitch on the other end of the line. Xanxus frowned, it wasn't like that woman to have a lack of confidence in her voice even while talking to him, something that always irritated him to no end.
"Well it had better be important woman! I'm too busy for-"
"The Tenth is dead."
Lal's voice interrupted his, her ragged breath revealing the tears she had previously shed, was the only sound as Xanxus' mind reeled.
"Impossible!" He barked as he slammed his fist down on his desk "this is obviously a joke woman, your lucky I'm not there to strangle you right now."
"Xanxus!" Lal shouted dangerously "This isn't a joke!" she took a deep breath and calmed herself before speaking again. "Tsuna's dead.. The funeral is tomorrow at 1.. Don't be late you bastard" the line ended abruptly and Xanxus stared at his phone for a moment before throwing it at the wall.
Flames shot out of his ring and around his arms as the fury overtook him. He threw his desk and it slammed against the wall, papers quickly flew everywhere, and the glass of whiskey that was on his desk shattered.
Xanxus stood still with his eyes screwed closed as his mind tried to get past the truth, it couldn't be the truth, the brat couldn't have just died, he was too… innocent. The waves of fury overwhelmed him as disbelief and reality hit him again and again…Unfamiliar emotions attacked him, regret, sadness, this was not him, he couldn't deal with what he had never faced before, he was only used to fury..
The windows shattered as Xanxus shot his flame through them "WHY DID YOU DIE?!" his questioning scream was barely heard over the self created chaos barreling around him.
Squalo ran into the room and his eyes widened at the image. Xanxus was standing in the middle of his office, his chest heaving as he tried to calm down and forced his flames to retreat. The office itself was destroyed, papers and glass were scattered everywhere, the desk and a few other unlucky pieces of furniture were broken against the wall, the curtains were on fire and the flames tried to spread out to the closest flammable substance. Squalo quickly used his rain element to extinguish the fires and tried to approach Xanxus as carefully as he could.
"DON'T FUCKING SPEAK!" Xanxus glared at his subordinate before slamming himself back into his chair, one of the few remaining pieces of undestroyed furniture, and took a heaving breath "how did it happen?" He rested his head in his hand and growled, the images of the late tenth invading his mind, forcing him to accept something that should have never happened, someone like that can't just die.
"Fuck" he let out a deep breath, the brats smile on his mind, his determination, and the damn kids ability to actually defeat him. "The Vongola is lost."
Squalo slowly walked towards his boss and sank to his knees in front of him. He looked into the glaring eyes of the man he dedicated himself to all those years ago, what he saw shocked Squalo, there was hurt in his eyes, regret, and as Xanxus closed his eyes tiredly Squalo glimpsed what may have been sadness his boss was suffering.
"Xanxus" he whispered, careful not to disturb him "what happened?"
"The Tenth is dead" silence loomed as the words hit Squalo, and hit Xanxus harder, saying it aloud confirmed it, there was no convincing otherwise, no believing it was all some scheme played by the Vongola to get the better of him. No. This was real, the Vongola Sky had fallen.
"Oh shit" Squalo hissed, believing Xanxus instantly, there was no thinking otherwise, his boss wouldn't fuck with something like this. Squalo placed his hands on Xanxus' knees and rested his head softly on his lap, this is all he could do, he was powerless to help other than to provide the little bit of comfort that Xanxus would allow without killing him. He heard Xanxus breathing deeply as his anger calmed, and a hand slowly wound its way through Squalos hair, caressing it.
"We have to go to the funeral" Xanxus said as sat calmly with his rain guardian, he felt Squalos head nod in response, and he closed his eyes, in an attempt to escape the new reality.
The quiet in the Vongola manor was terrifying, gone were the cheerful laughs of the guardians and the manor guards, gone were the loud crashes of something in the manor being destroyed for the 16th time. It was as if the death of the most cherished member of the Vongola brought on the death of the entire Vongola… The sad truth was that it had, there were no smiles, there was no fighting, it was empty, and Xanxus felt it.
The sight that greeted Xanxus and Squalo upon entering the room was one of complete engulfing, murdering sadness. The coffin was closed, hiding the tenths damaged face, the bullet hole that could not be undone. Gokudera stood by the coffin, his body was shaking and it looked like his legs would give out on him at any moment, the only thing supporting him was Yamamoto holding him up, the last thing helping the storm guardian from falling into the same abyss as the tenth. Ryohei's face was unseen as he slumped against the wall, his hands on the back of his head and his face tucked between his knees, his small sobs were heard in the quiet room. Chrome stood by him, tears swimming at the brink of her eye as she tried to be a supportive companion to Ryohei. Mukuro stood against the opposite wall, his face remained impassive as he stared at the coffin. Lambo could not be seen, he was most likely hiding in his room, unable to face the death of his best friend. Hibari stood at the opposite end of the coffin from the two guardians, his emotions only showed restrained anger, the one person he would ever follow had gotten himself killed, and left behind so many people.
One other person was in the room, a mafia member in a suit who stared coldly at the others in the room, his face as emotionless as Mukuro. A Vongola Council leader, one of the many who made the decisions when the current head was unable. The man fixed his gaze on Xanxus as he entered, before turning his gaze back to the coffin.
Xanxus walked up to the coffin, eyes focused on him as he placed his hand on the coffin. He closed his eyes, blocking out those stares, he was not here to mock the tenth as they all thought, he wouldn't descend to a level like that. He sighed as that damn emotion welled up from deep inside him as he kept his eyes closed, feeling the hard wood under his fingertips. Something as weak as sadness kept forcing its way past his barriers and killing his resolve slowly. His hand shook and he quickly jerked it away from the coffin, the cold surface contrasting brashly with the fire that burned his mind.
"Fuck" the only word to describe the situation, he stood back as Squalo approached the coffin and laid a single white rose on it. "A Varia tradition" Squalo muttered as Hibari raised an eyebrow at the rose. The white rose stood out on the black coffin, the Tenths innocence reflecting in it, something so simple representing the loss that everyone experienced.
Xanxus turned and quickly left the room, Squalo at his heels, he held back his urge to slam the door in respect for the Tenth. Xanxus strode down the long hallway preparing to leave before he sensed the presence following them.
"What do you want?" Xanxus demanded to the Vongola suit, neglecting his usual insulting words knowing that this man could easily order him to be imprisoned if he simply did not like the brash Varia leader.
"We have business to speak of" the man said in a cool tone, hardly bothered by the situation.
"Cant it wait?" Xanxus growled, wanting to leave before his temper got out of control.
"No. The issue of the Tenths replacement cannot simply be put on hold because you don't feel like talking Xanxus" the man pulled a piece of paper out of his briefcase, a flame shined on the paper signifying that it was an order of the council.
Xanxus stared in disbelief and Squalo's mouth dropped open as their minds processed exactly what the suit was referring to, Xanxus was the next in line for the head of Vongola.
"You've got to be shitting me" Xanxus said, abandoning all attempts of sounding somewhat proper in front of the suit.
"No Xanxus this is a true order, you are to take the place of the late Sawada Tsunayoshi as the 11th head of Vongola" he approached Xanxus and held out the document. Xanxus looked down and saw the contract that he had signed many years ago in his quest to become the next head, the quest that had now completed itself in the most ironic and murderous way possible.
"Yes…" Xanxus answer was barely audible as the suit retracted the paper and put it back in his briefcase.
"Good, you will report to the council in the morning to begin the process" the suit turned around and quickly strode away and Xanxus stood there stunned.
"Xanxus.." Squalo said as he reached to touch his bosses arm, Xanxus suddenly turned around and slapped the arm out of the way "lets go trash". Squalo watched as his boss walked away before bowing his head and following him.
The drive home was quiet, Xanxus' hands gripped the steering wheel and his knuckles turned white, the only thing showing some semblance of emotion. Squalo wondering what the hell was wrong with him, as he observed him from the passenger seat. His face was blank, his eyes only focusing on the road ahead as they made their way to the Varia mansion. Squalo had never seen him like this, he didn't understand, Xanxus was finally the head of the Vongola, he finally achieved his dreams, why the hell was he acting like it was nothing… Then Squalo thought of the circumstances, the Tenth was killed by another person, Xanxus was not the one to take out his rival, but he had lost that urge long ago, what bastard could really kill the Tenth? The truth stared Squalo blatantly in the face, it was an undeserved victory, one that came from murder and deceit, and as soon as Squalo realized it he was crushed with the same feeling as his boss, this wasn't what they had dreamed of, this was a nightmare.
The car pulled into the driveway of the mansion, Xanxus quickly got out and slammed the door, shattering the window. He stormed into the house as Squalo followed behind, but as soon as he walked inside Xanxus was out of sight and the other Varia guardians stared at Squalo in shock, their eyes demanding an answer.
"I don't know" he muttered, not wanting to be the one to explain everything to the other members at the moment, he quickly made his way to his room. Upon entering he punched the wall, leaving a deep dent before he punched again and again trying to relieve his anger and confusion. He stared almost proudly at the giant hole in the wall before stalking to his bed and falling into it.
He woke up a few hours later when he heard a thump coming from Xanxus' room, he was amazed that he was not awake sooner from the other sounds that usually plagued the Varia mansion, it had almost taken on the same feel as the Vongola's.
He grabbed his sword as a precaution as he left his room and quickly made his way to Xanxus' silently hoping that he wouldn't go insane with fury again. He hesitated momentarily outside the door, gathering his wits he opened the door and took in the sight that met him.
Xanxus was seated in his armchair in front of a fire that shared the characteristics of the dying will flame. The light of the fire barely reached Xanxus' face but it showed the empty eyes that stared back at the fire, and the look of defeat that shadowed his face. He could see a glass of whiskey in Xanxus' hand, and an empty bottle beside the chair, a table was flipped over, solving the mystery of the sound that woke up Squalo. Xanxus should have noticed his presence by now, but had yet to acknowledge him.
"Xanxus" Squalo said as he walked to his leaders side "Xanxus why-"
His words ended abruptly as the glass of whiskey still in Xanxus' hand crashed into the side of his head. Hard. Squalo was knocked to the ground on his side as he clenched his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, the pain seared through his head as he struggled to hold onto his consciousness. The flashes of light that invaded his sight died down and he opened his eyes to yell at Xanxus but hesitated as he saw those eyes again, they looked almost dead as they stared at him.
"VOOI! Xanxus! Stop!" he called out "You're the head of the Vongola now! Why the fuck are you doing this!"
Xanxus stared at his right hand man, he couldn't even begin to explain to the swordsman what he was going through, the fury was barely contained, and the fucking sadness overwhelmed him. His eyes followed the blood flowing from Squalo's head as it mixed into his hair, the sight of the long tresses trigged a memory from years ago…
"I won't cut my hair until you become the boss of the Vongola Xanxus!"
"I am the new Vongola boss" Xanxus growled in clarification as he reached towards Squalo. Squalo cried out as rough hands grabbed his hair and dragged him to the bed "and don't you fucking forget it you trash!" Squalo was thrown onto the bed and he quickly tried to escape, this was not good, Xanxus' aura was murderous and Squalos mind panicked as he realized this was the first time he was ever scared that he might actually die by Xanxus' hands. He tried jumping off the bed but Xanxus quickly grabbed his ankle and yanked him back, Squalo tried to swing his sword but the breath rushed out of his lungs as a fist hit his stomach brutally. He struggled for air as he was forced onto his knees facing the headboard, he heard the sound of a buckle being undone and moments later felt Xanxus' belt wrap around his wrists tightly and the mans scarred hands removed the sword from Squalos fake one.
"VOOI! Xanxus stop!" he gasped out, Xanxus ignored him and ground his hips into Squalo's ass "quiet trash!" Xanxus set the sword on the bed next to him. Squalo tried to reach for it in vain before Xanxus roughly pushed Squalo's face into the mattress, his hand grinding into the wound already apparent on the side of Squalo's head. Squalo cried out in pain and tears brimmed at his eyes, he felt a hand unbuckling his own belt and pulling down his zipper. "Xanxus" Squalo whimpered, they had angry sex before, they had inflicted pain upon one another before, but this time was different, the way Xanxus purposely pressed into his wound and was roughly pulling down his pants forced fear into Squalo. He closed his eyes as Xanxus spread his legs farther apart, the hand left his body for a moment and Squalo knew what was about to happen, he started to struggle but stopped as soon as the hand pushed down harder into his head, making him see the flashes of light again.
He heard Xanxus spit into his hand and heard him grunt as he rubbed his cock with the fluid. Squalo felt the large cock pressing against his unprepared entrance "Xanxus please" he whimpered as more tears came to his eyes, he had never felt so helpless before. He felt a hand grab his hip roughly..
"Xanxus don-AAAH!" Xanxus pushed in brutally, sheathing himself completely inside, Squalo cried out loudly, he felt like he was being torn in half. Xanxus didn't even give Squalo a moment to adjust before he pulled out and thrust back in roughly "AAH!" Squalo screamed, but Xanxus lacked any kind of sympathy for the man beneath him. Squalo screamed again as he was pushed into relentlessly, he felt something dripping down his thigh and Xanxus' cock started to move easier, the fluid was indefinitely blood from being pushed into so harshly. "Xanxus!" he called out his name in vain as Xanxus thrust harder into him, pounding him into the bed, trying to inflict as much pain as he could into his subordinate. Xanxus couldnt put words into what he felt, only actions could express the sadness induced rage coursing through his blood, he needed a release and didnt care if he hurt his swordsman to get it. The silver haired man didnt understand, he never would, he never felt the way Xanxus felt, experienced the humiliation and pain that Xanxus had continuously suffered.
"Xanxus why?!" Squalo cried out as another rough thrust sent pain through him. Xanxus didn't reply, he removed his hand from the wound and gathered Squalo's hair in his hand and pulled him up, forcing him to try and hold himself up with his arms. Xanxus continued to thrust, using the grip on Squalo's hair and hip to push deeper "because" he said with a venomous tone "I can't stand you". Squalo gritted his teeth and tried to block the cry that came out, causing it to sound like a whimper, the memories he shared with Xanxus flooded his head and crashed into him, he couldn't believe it, they were supposed to be lovers, right? Xanxus removed his hand from Squalo's hip and reached for the sword he had stolen from his subordinate earlier, a flash caught Squalo's eye and he stared at the sword that Xanxus was gripping dangerously in his hand.
"XANXUS NO!" Squalo cried as he suddenly realized what the other was planning, this wasn't how he wanted it to happen, it was meant to be a celebration, not a punishment! Squalo struggled against the man as he repeated the words over and over again. Xanxus ignored him and thrust into him roughly one more time before bringing the sword up and slicing cleanly through the beautiful locks of his swordsman.
Squalo fell forward into the bed, his arms giving out on him as he was no longer held up by Xanxus' grip on his hair. His body shuddered as his mind reeled, had that really just happened? He saw Xanxus throw his hair down, laughing slightly with a possessive glint in his eyes. His tears began to flow freely down his face, and all the pain hit him again, it hurt, it really fucking hurt. He started to struggle again, he was pissed "Xanxus let me go!" he shouted as he tried to move away from Xanxus. Xanxus laughed and grabbed the mans hips, forcing himself back into Squalo again "no" he said as he picked up his pace. Squalo cried out again, every nerve on his body was on fire, he could barely think as Xanxus pushed deeper and his nails dug into Squalo's skin.
Xanxus yelled as he came inside of Squalo, his cum mixing with the blood creating a gruesome image. He stared down at the body crying pitifully beneath him. Squalo looked beaten, blood mixed with what was left of his hair, Xanxus had cut close to his scalp, causing the front to be longer and covering his face. Xanxus pulled out and quickly rearranged his pants before stumbling off the bed, leaving Squalo alone and exposed. He walked slowly towards the chair, his eyesight hazing as the adrenaline died down, leaving the alcohol to suffocate his mind, he barely sat down in his chair and took one more look at Squalo before he passed out.
It was pitiful, Squalo cried on the bed, the shield that he once had was gone, the promise was fulfilled and Xanxus didn't need him anymore. Squalo sobbed as reality hit him, he wasn't needed, all those years with Xanxus by his side in battle and in bed, had those years just been a lie? His mind succumbed to darkness as the pain overtook his mind. He was slipping in and out of consciousness, due to the blood loss or the pain and shock itself he didn't know, all he knew was that sleep was a welcomed haven as he closed his eyes and passed out.
Squalo woke up to pain throbbing in his head and in his ass, he groaned and forced his eyes to adjust to the light as he tried to remember. The images from the night before almost made him scream, he looked at his wrists and saw that the belt had come off sometime after he passed out, the raw skin being the only evidence that it was there. His hands quickly shot to his head as he felt his butchered hair, the promise he had made almost 20 years ago was over. Tears welled in his eyes, he didn't want to cut his hair, he knew how much Xanxus loved stroking it as they laid in bed at night after a few rounds of intense sex. He blinked his tears back as he forced the memories back into his head, he rolled over and realized that the comforter was covering him and he had been cleaned up from the incident the night before. He suddenly heard someone moving in the room and he quickly sat up, ignoring the rush his mind suffered and the pain as he did.
Xanxus sat on the side of the bed, worry was evident in his face as he watched Squalo flinch, and his eyes held the same sad expression that was shown at the funeral, except it was different somehow.
Squalo glared at the man, the one responsible for all the pain he suffered through, and lost it. He lunged at Xanxus, ignoring the protests from his body, and punched him in the face. Xanxus fell off the bed and moaned in pain as he rubbed his jaw, he looked up to see Squalo still glaring at him and trying to cover himself with the sheets.
"I deserved that" he said as he stood up slowly.
"VOOOI LIKE HELL YOU DID!" Squalo screamed, unable to hold it in "WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?!" he tugged on his hair for emphasis, showing off the belt marks at the same time "DO YOU REALLY NOT NEED ME ANYMORE YOU FUCKING BASTARD?!?" At those words he screamed in anger, holding his head in his hands as his screams turned to sobs, he collapsed into the bed as he shuddered and tried to hide the sounds.
"Squalo" Xanxus said as he looked at the man, he was broken, and it was all Xanxus' fault "fuck" he whispered as he sat down on the bed next to Squalo's shaking body. He hesitantly placed his hand on Squalo's head, slightly shocked at the completely different feeling of the now short hair, he started to run his hand through Squalo's hair, soothing him as he cried.
Squalo's crying quieted down as he realized what Xanxus was doing, he lifted his head and stared into the mans eyes. Xanxus lightly grabbed Squalo's chin and brought his lips to Squalo's, the kiss was the softest Squalo had ever received from the dominate man, it was like the kiss itself begged for forgiveness. Squalo felt the other mans tongue brush against his lips, begging for the warmth inside, Squalo parted his lips and Xanxus deepened the kiss. Their kiss wasn't a battle of dominance, it was a kiss that was begging for comfort, something rare in their fucked up relationship. Xanxus broke the kiss and brought his lips to Squalo's eyes, kissing away the remnants of tears, and tasting the saltiness when he licked his lips. He released Squalo's chin and withdrew himself from Squalo, he covered his face with his hands and rested his elbows on his knees and took a deep breath.
"I'm sorry Squalo" he said as he shuddered involuntarily "I didn't want that to happen, I didn't want to hurt you, I-"
"Shut up Xanxus" Squalo interrupted the flow of pathetic words stemming from his ex-lovers words. Xanxus seemed shocked, he lifted his hand and reached lightly for Squalos face as he tried to speak again "Squalo I-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP" Squalo screamed and flinched away from the touch, he shook his head and pulled the covers over him protectively "get out" he said venomously.
"Squalo I'm not leav-"
"Get out now!" Squalo yelled "I dont want to listen to you apologize! Your a fucking asshole Xanxus! Do you even know what you did?!? A fucking apology wont fix that!!"
Xanxus stood up quickly and paced away from the bed as he ran his hands through his hair to release as much tension as he could "I know what I did.. I remember everything Squalo! I fucking hurt you so much, I just couldnt-"
"You couldnt stand it anymore" Squalo finished for him "Do you hate me that much that you have to USE me whenever you get drunk and angry?!?" Squalos voice started to heighten from the sobs blocking his throat, he didnt want to cry but the tears were forcing their way out as he glared at Xanxus. "I tolerated it before Xanxus, when you bruised my body and left me alone at night when you were too pissed off too deal with reality. When you couldnt stand it anymore I was always by your side and I let you do what you want Xanxus!" a sob choked out of his throat "Do you want to know why?" he didnt give Xanxus a chance to respond "Because when you werent drunk, and it was just you and I alone, I felt like I belonged with you, I felt like I really loved you Xanxus!"
Xanxus blinked and stared at the swordsman "loved... me?" he said it as though it was an impossible reality. Squalo realized what he said and he quickly spooled his thoughts before grabbing the sword that was still on the bed "get out now Xanxus" he said with the same serious voice as before.
"You cant be serious Squalo!"
Xanxus glared at his now ex-lover before turning and storming towards the door. He opened the door slowly and halted before leaving "are we.. over?" Xanxus didnt want to hear the confirming answer.
"there was never an 'us' Xanxus, only you" Squalo tried to keep his composure as he watched the man he loved nearly crumble at the door, he cringed when the door slammed loudly and Xanxus stomped down the hall.
"VOOOOOOOI!!!!!" Squalo threw his sword back on the bed before collapsing under his emotions, the tears flowed down his face as each word kept stabbing him over and over, the hole in his heart was quickly becoming more evident as he slammed his hand into the bed "FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!" his cries were most likely heard by the other Varia members, but he didnt care.
Hours later Squalo heard the door open, he raised his head and glared at the intruder, but quickly calmed his expression when he realized it was Belphagor. Bel fidgeted nervously as he closed the door, the fight between the two must have sounded pretty bad for the prince to be this nervous.
"Squalo?" Bel made his way to the bed and sat down lightly on it "the prince heard what happened".
Squalo nodded his head "it probably sounded pretty bad to you guys".
"It was bad Squalo, nobody has seen Xanxus since the fight" the prince shook his head "you two breaking up, it hardly seems realistic to the prince, you were together when Xanxus became part of the Varia right?"
"Bel" Squalo sighed "I dont want to talk, I just need to think, please".
Bel nodded his head "then the prince will leave" he started to get up but Squalo grabbed his wrist "you can still stay in here" he said. Bel gave one of his sadistic smiles and laid down on the bed beside Squalo, he started petting Squalos hair and played with it "it looks good" he mumbled. Squalo glared "Bel if you dont shut up I'll tell Fran the true story behind the froggy hat" Bel yanked his hand back, causing Squalo to laugh "try getting laid then".
"Ushishi fair enough" Bel said as he poked Squalo "but just watch out for Lussuria, he might want to play with your new haircut" Squalo shuddered and Bel laughed again, glad that the focus could move elsewhere.
Dino waited patiently at the café he was supposed to meet Squalo at, they had some things to go over now that Xanxus was in charge and Squalo would be doing any negotiations with the Cavallone family. He took a sip from his coffee and spit it out seconds later as Squalo came into view.
"S-Squalo?" Dino said hesitantly, the swordsman's hair was short and spiked in the back, and his bangs went past his face, he looked like one of those anime girls from Japan, mostly because Lussuria had trapped Squalo and played with it. "Squalo what did you do?!" Dino shouted as he jumped up, momentarily attracting attention from the other guests before they turned away after seeing Squalo's glare. "I cut my hair" Squalo replied briefly "I had no need to keep it long after Xanxus became the Eleventh". Dinos face changed from confused to understanding to excited and to blushing in under ten seconds "it looks good" he stuttered out, thinking of the days when they were all in school together and Dino had a crush on Squalo. "Thank you Dino" Squalo forced out as he sat down "now sit, we have business to discuss".
Dino sat willingly, but could not keep his eyes off Squalo's hair the whole time, wondering what hell the other Varia members went through after it was cut, Squalo was quite attached to his hair.
R&R please!! :D
This will most likely have a sequel.. I just have to get off my lazy butt and write it ^_^;;;
Thanks for reading~!