These are crack ideas that came about from the RoChu Pervy Squad…yes that is what we've been nicknamed as…Orz. Anyway drabble format again (meaning lay off on details and different from usual style).

Yes, this is rated M but hopefully still funny?


"Yao~ What are you doing?" Russia asked as he hugged China from behind, rubbing their cheeks together affectionately.

"Tsk, can't you tell I'm busy with paperwork aru? Now go away and let me finish!" China scowled, trying in vain to push Russia's face away from his.

A mock hurt expression entered Russia's face, 'Eh~ but it's been so long since I last saw Yao Yao. We should play together and make up for the lost time da?"

To make his point clear in what kind of "play" he wanted, Russia slipped one of China's finger pushing at his face into his mouth, slowly running his tongue over it.

China quickly yanked his hand free, a flush entering his face, "W-what are you doing?"

His hands still around the slim waist, Russia pulled China's body closer to his. However, the Chinese nation still resisted even though he knew when the larger nation set his mind to something, there was no stopping him.

"No aru! I-I don't want to!" China yelled, struggling in Russia's grasp, pushing at his large chest.

Capturing one of China's delicate hands in his, Russia smiled. "But I want to…," Russia leaned down to nibble at China's ear, whispering into it, "and we both know sooner or later, you'll want it too….Right Jao?"

Despite his initial protest, China couldn't stop the excited shiver that ran down his spine when he felt the warm breath upon his sensitive neck. Curse this infernal body. It was like Russia had conditioned him to expect the mind-numbing sex they always had. He turned his head away from the lips seeking his, scoffing, "Don't overestimate yourself aru."

Undeterred, Russia contented himself with simply gliding his mouth over China's smooth cheek. He gentle laid a hand on the side of the smaller nation's face, turning it to face his. Challenging, golden eyes met his. Russia silently laughed at how utterly adorable his little Yao looked. He knew he should first quench China's anger but he couldn't stop himself from bending down and kiss those soft lips.

When he felt China finally relent and half-heartedly kiss back, this time Russia couldn't stop a chuckle from escaping, "No. I don't overestimate myself. There's no need for estimation between lovers right?" One of his hands slipped underneath China's shirt and began idly playing with the waistband there. Russia's voice became husky with desire as he continued to lavish China's face, mouth, wherever his lips could touch bare skin, with butterfly kisses, "Because that's what we are right? Lovers? You love me just like I love you da?"

China closed his eyes, falling under the trance of Russia's hypnotic voice. He tilted his head to give the Russian more access to the skin at his neck. "You're not playing fair…."China said without heat.

Russia's hand dipped inside of China's pants, finding the rounded cheeks there. The Chinese nation's gasp at feeling a callous hand suddenly touching him was smothered as Russia claimed his mouth in a demanding kiss. Russia buried his free hand into China's hair, pressing their mouth closer. Their tongues ran over each other in desperation in feeling one another. Slick, wet, sliding, retreating, plunging- their kiss mimicking the very act they were about to commit.

At last they broke away. Russia laid his forehead against China's, their panting breathes mingling. Stroking the side of China's arm, Russia spoke quietly, "Turn around and face the desk, Yao."

China stiffened. He hated being commanded but staring into those burning violet eyes, he felt his heart beat race. Reluctantly, he turned and placed his hands on the desk, slightly bent over it. "This once. Only this once," China's mind chanted as he felt Russia ever so slowly bend down, pulling his pants along with him. China's traitorous body trembled when Russia kissed his way back up China's leg, up his calves, the back of his silky thighs, before ending his quest with a finally lick on China's buttocks.

The Chinese nation sharply inhaled, feeling large hands cup his backside, kneading, spreading them. He tensed. Any moment now, any moment he would feel the sharp pain of Russia preparing him but afterwards…Heaven forbid, afterwards the pleasure he would feel. They would- *SQUEAK*

China's twitched slightly. What was that sound? He was so preoccupied with the foreign sound, it took him a while to feel a huge patch of his right butt cheek feeling wet.

"Was Russia sucking on it without me knowing?" China wondered without turning around. Then it hit him, the distinct smell. The distinct smell of permanent marker.

Eyes widened, China whipped around to face Russia, "What did you do aru!"

Whistling innocently, Russia grinned at China, "Nothing~. Just made the view better. We should continue with the sex da?"

Ignoring Russia reaching for him, China dashed to the bathroom….

The world became deathly still as if it was the calm before a storm. A few seconds later, the storm struck.

"YOU F*CKING BASTARD ARU! YOU DREW A RUSSIAN BEAR OVER MY PANDA BIRTHMARK!"

"Jao~ Come back. I'm not done yet. I still need to write 'Property of Ivan Braginski right above it."


To see Yao's panda that doesn't look like a panda at all: community(dot)livejournal(dot)com(slash)hetalia(slash)749234(dot)html

It's the last strip. Anyway it came about because people said it doesn't look like a panda. People said, it looked like a Russian bear instead. Most likely it's because Ivan put it there saying, "This ass belongs to me. Touch and die"

Btw, there is one more smex comedy after this. But it's 8am right now and I can't write anymore. Sorry if there are mistakes in this one but I basically wrote it at 7am in the morning and really, I can't stay up any longer than this…. Check back tomorrow. I will have it up by then.