DIS: Umm...It's been awhile since I last wrote a one shot, let alone vexshipping. It's been awhile since I've written, almost two months if you want to know the truth, so I'm a little out of practice. Well, in any case, read below and enjoy!
Rating: T for mild language
Summary: Vexshipping. We don't choose to whom our hearts lead us. If we could, neither of us would be here with each other. It hurts us both, but love isn't simple... One shot. Dedicated to Sakura Takanouchi.
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh!
Notes/Warnings: one shot; dedicated to Sakura Takanouchi; drama/romance; vexshipping, as in Bakura/Anzu
Anzu Mazaki pulled her scarf around her neck more securely and tucked her chin into it so that it covered her mouth and nose. Her breath puffed out in small wisps of white, but it warmed her chilled nose. Her ears were warm from the earmuffs she was wearing and with her gloved hands secure in her pockets, she was fairly warm. Even her feet were warm, although they were buried in deep snow. She had been waiting patiently for some time in the cold; she had become accustomed to it after the harder and longer winters in the past few years. It only took one time to become accustomed to such things. And, despite her being a naturally patient person, she was beginning to grow weary of waiting for her guest. She turned her head both ways, peering down the snowy walkways to see if she could see them yet. For the fiftieth time that she had been watching the sidewalk, it was empty. Sighing yet again, as she did every time when she discovered the sidewalk empty, she dropped her head down once again and stared at the shadow the snow cast on her boots. Her feet hurt for standing so long. How long has it been? she pondered distantly to herself. Ten minutes? Twenty? Anzu groped for her phone in her pocket and removed it, awkwardly punching a button so that the screen lit up. She heaved a second sigh. Almost thirty, she concluded. She sent a last glance to her wallpaper, that of her and her best friends, and then tucked the phone back in her pocket. I'll wait another five minutes and then I'm going home. I know he hates the cold, but this is ridiculous.
As it happened, Anzu did not have time to even become grumpy over the fact that she had been waiting out in the cold for so long until a lone form came trudging around a corner of the sidewalk. She turned her head at the sound of footsteps and stared at the person for a moment and then raised her head, her brows furrowing into an irritated expression. "You're late. I've been standing here for half an hour!" she pointed out to the male. His indifferent expression transformed into that of a scowl. His nose was a bit pink from the cold.
"Don't start nagging at me, woman," he said sharply. "I had to walk all the way from the damn house to get here. I'm freezing my ass off in this weather." She frowned, taking note of how his shoulders were bunched forward and his hands were buried deep in his pockets. There was a slight shake to his frame that made her stubborn refusal to show any sympathy fade away. Anzu met him halfway and put an arm behind his back, pressing close so that he would absorb some of his heat. He removed his left hand from his pocket and put it around her shoulder. The walk was slow and their coordination poor, but he had stopped shaking and both of them were less annoyed.
Anzu snuck a curious look at her partner. How did I get here? she thought to herself. It's amazing to think that we've been together since August. It's been six months. I would have thought we would hate each other, but we're so similar...On the surface, we're completely different. He's special, even if my friends are still uncomfortable with the idea. At least they agreed to give him a try. And now that they know he treats me right, they don't hate him. They at least accept him.
Bakura sighed and asked, "Why are you staring at me?"
"I just looked at you," she said flippantly.
He gave his eyes a disbelieving roll. "And I suppose your idea of looking is boring holes through me?" he sarcastically jibed. Anzu gave a small shrug, knowing that this was an argument she would be unable to win, especially if she denied it she would be lying. If there was one thing an expert thief could detect, it was lying; she had never been a very good liar, either. A triumphant smirk lit his face up, but he did not make any snide comment to verbalize his victory. He simply pulled her a bit closer, squeezing her shoulder. If she had been any other person, he would have laughed and taunted them. For the first months that they had slowly become acquaintances, and then friends, he would have done the same thing. The last time she had pointed out his different behavior, he had answered that she was in a "special category."
"So, do you want to get some coffee? Or hot chocolate?" she added the last part after his mouth twisted in disgust.
"Hot chocolate," he decided.
Anzu smiled and briefly rested her cheek against his arm and then tucked her face back into her scarf to keep it warm. Not many people were walking outside and so the sound of their boots on cold concrete was the only sound that could be heard. For awhile they continued down the sidewalk without saying anything. While Anzu could chat about anything with Bakura and get some kind of feedback, good or back, she didn't much feel like talking and if she prompted him, he would talk. For now, she enjoyed the silence and comfortably walked with him. Anzu had never actually dated anyone and Bakura, in his old life and new life, had never really been with anyone because of the life goals he had set for himself. She was sure he had done things with women, simply by the way he sometimes worded his sentences.
When they arrived near the end of the sidewalk, they were facing Domino City. A bridge led across the river and towards downtown. They crossed the bridge and once they were encased between the buildings and people, Anzu slid away from him and clasped his hand instead, to which he did not protest. She led him into a café and they took a seat. The building was warm and after a few minutes, Anzu shed her coat, gloves, hat, and scarf. Bakura removed his gloves and the knit hat he was wearing, but kept his coat on. The waitress came up and gave them miniature menus with all kinds of drinks, pastries, sandwiches, and miscellaneous items. Anzu ordered a coffee and Bakura ordered hot chocolate and a sandwich.
"I ran into your idiot friend on the way to meeting you," Bakura suddenly told Anzu once the waitress had left. She gave him a puzzled, surprised expression. "Katsuya."
"Oh," she said in some surprise. "And...how did that go?"
He snorted. "Just lovely. He decided to lecture me about the dangers of sex, wanted to know how things were going between us, and he started blathering about marriage. That was when I stopped listening. It sounded like a bunch of bullshit to me." He leaned his elbow on the table and stared out the window a few tables away from them, looking utterly bored. Anzu could tell by how he did not meet her gaze that there was something else that he was not telling her. She chose not to say anything to it. The waitress returned with their order and as she put the receipt on the table, Bakura snatched it before Anzu could so much as raise her hand. She frowned at him over the table as he paid for it and then began to feast on his sandwich.
"I wish you would let me pay for things once in awhile."
"I do," he said, rudely speaking with his mouth full. She gave a disgusted expression. He chewed and then swallowed, adding, "I let you buy the little gifts you find for me."
"That doesn't count, Bakura!" Anzu indignantly told him. "You're not even around to shove your way to the cash register and thrust money into the cashier's face like you do every other time! I don't need you to be chivalrous."
"Like I care," he said, taking a cautious drink of his hot chocolate. "I'll do as I please with my money and I would rather it be spent on you – or us, whichever term you prefer – than something useless trinket that I become attracted to." He took another drink of his hot chocolate, keeping his eyes on hers. "And that's exactly what would happen and you know it. Would you drink your coffee already? I don't need you watching me eat." He took another bite of his sandwich. This had not been the first time she and him argued over him buying everything that she wanted when they went out. She had learned to go shopping for things by herself so that he would not insist upon buying her items. Whenever they ate out, however, was a completely different story. There was no way she could stop him from that.
"What else did Jounouchi say?" Anzu queried, taking a sip of her coffee and reverting back to their earlier conversation. The hot liquid nearly burned her tongue.
"Nothing important that I can remember," was his careless answer. Anzu couldn't help but smile at his glib lie. If not for her noticing the subtle shift of his eyes when he lied to her, she would be unaware of it. It was only to her that his composure sometimes slipped. There were times when he would abruptly pull her close, as if he imagined she was going to disappear. Occasionally an endearing name would slip off his tongue and then his mouth would purse a moment later from frustration. No matter how long they were together, Bakura would always have trouble adjusting to opening up to someone.
"I can just ask him, Bakura," she said pointedly. "I'll either learn it from you or him. It's up to you what you want the source to be."
"Are you trying to purposely pester me?" He raised his eyes from the table. "It's nothing important. What he said to me was something that was for me only. Let it be." Anzu took note of his uncomfortable state and wondered what it was that Jounouchi could have said to make him react that way when questioned about it. He sipped at his hot chocolate after finishing his sandwich and she did the same with her coffee, surveying the other people in the café rather than looking at her partner. By the time she had finished half her coffee, Bakura seemed more in control and less bothered than before. Finding that it was safe to look at him, she turned her eyes back to his to find that he was inspecting her with a frown.
"He will eventually tell you anyway," he thoughtfully said aloud. "The idiot...he wanted to explain to me what I had, that I would be stupid to give it up or ruin it. And he made the usual threats that I have heard continuously in the past six, eight months. Then he decided to list all the observations of my behavior towards you and vice versa." She blinked in surprise. "He's a moron," Bakura flatly ended, but Anzu knew that was not true. Bakura was bothered that their feelings were so public, especially in his case.
"It's okay, Bakura," she said quietly, reaching over and touching his wrist hesitantly. He released his cup of hot chocolate and took her hand in both of his. He did it without any conscious thought, that was something she could see. "It's okay to love."
"I don't love, Anzu," Bakura said, "and I have never loved."
"That doesn't mean you can't start."
"And it doesn't mean that I can," he retorted stubbornly.
This, too, was a familiar conversation that Anzu had with him monthly, if not weekly. He had plainly told her when they began dating that the entire situation was a mistake. Anzu explained as well as she could that she felt the same way, but said the same thing whenever the subject was broached: "We don't choose who our hearts lead us to, Bakura. If we could, neither of us would be here with each other. It hurts us both, but love isn't simple."
"I love you, Bakura," Anzu said, "even if you don't want to say that you love me. I'm not going to deny what my heart wants." He stared at her with no expression. Once the word 'love' was brought up, he seemed to sink into an inner place in his head where nobody could reach him. After a few moments in which they sat at the table, her hand clasped in his, his eyes suddenly narrowed on her in a searching manner. He appeared to be confused, which was somewhat puzzling to her. He had never looked this way when they spoke of this before.
"I don't say that word," was all he said, "but for an entirely different reason, one that you may or may not be able to comprehend."
"Everyone gets hurt at least once in their life," she softly answered. A grim smile lifted his mouth.
"I was hurt more than once, Anzu, which is something you ought to know well. When you are hated in every life you've ever lived, you tend to be more cautious in your emotions. It's been centuries since I've been able to feel anything but resentment and vengeance." He paused, gazing at her for a long moment. "It's not a question of whether I love you, it's a matter of whether I can tell you to your face. That was something Katsuya forced out of me before he let me leave and it is why it took me so long."
"I can be patient." She smiled at him and took her other hand to squeeze his comfortingly. "If I can wait thirty minutes, I can wait as long as thirty years."
He chuckled. "Someday, Anzu...someday."
DIS: This definitely was not my best piece and it was shorter than I had originally intended. The format was supposed to be completely different, but I had trouble getting to it and ended up with this instead. Oh, well. I did like how I made Anzu and Bakura's relationship play out, though, even if I could have gone into more detail with it. In any case, please leave a review telling me if you liked it or not. Ciao!