De-anoning from the lj Hetalia kink meme. The request was to explain why Egypt never speaks, even though we know he can. I hope you all enjoy!!!

Disclaimer: Once again, I'm sad to report I don't own Hetalia.

Oh Egypt, Why So Serious?

The one that younger nations are always quick to learn about World Conference Meetings is that nothing ever really gets done there. After all, most plans and deals are figured between smaller collections of nations, and when they all meet up together, it ends up being more chaotic than anything else.

The second thing these nations learn is that their elders have pretty much already given up on the meetings altogether. It's why Greece falls asleep once he sits in his chair (or, on the rare occasion when he has something to discuss, why he spends the entire meeting pet his cats and drawing crude caricatures of Turkey). It's why Egypt, sitting in the chair beside him, spends the entire time scribbling in a palm sized notepad, nodding or shaking his head appropriately when addressed. It's why China tries to offer people sweets, and why Austria brings blank sheet music and writes songs.

It's why Prussia, France, and Spain are sitting in the corner, playing a very obvious, obnoxiously loud game of "Truth or Dare." A game which had quickly gotten boring with just the three of them, and was trying to recruit new members. "Oi, Egypt, truth or dare?!" Prussia called over a loud string of cursing; apparently, Romano was not pleased to have been awoken by France groping him (but, it was such a fun dare that Prussia didn't mind the death stare he was receiving from Romano, Spain, and Germany).

The Egyptian looked up, and when Prussia continued to look at him he put on a contemplative expression. After a moment of this he wrote something on his paper and held it up.

"Truth." The paper read, and Prussia smirked.

"Alright then, truth it is. So, do you ever actually talk?"

Suddenly, the room became significantly quiet. Egypt had no idea that so many people wanted to know the answer to the question; hadn't they all heard him speak before, anyways? As the Egyptian pondered on it, he realized that while a few of them had heard him speak a few short sentences here and there throughout the past centuries, it wasn't all of them. He nodded.

"Oh yeah? Then how come I've never heard your voice? If you really can speak, then why don't you?" Egypt gave him a look that Prussia could not decode, and Greece suddenly stopped being asleep.

"Egypt…?" He asked groggily, being one of only two people in the room who knew what the expression meant. It meant that unless Prussia backed off soon enough, trouble would be coming.

"Well? We're waiting."

"Prussia, I don't think that's-"

"Spain, I know you wanna know too. So, let the man answer." When red eyes turned back to meet amber ones, Prussia found that Egypt had already left the room.

Egypt didn't have much left of his mother. Sure, his land was still full of her legacy, but old tombs and ancient artifacts were not the same as warm hugs and soft words. Not that he was still a child now, these were not things he needed, but he had been a child when she was lost, and that made all the difference.

There was a gap of a few decades during which Ancient Egypt was fading, but not gone yet. Gupta himself had been born at this time, and grew older at the same rate with which his mother grew weaker. As a child, he was almost like an attachment to her; wherever she went, it was almost a given that he would be walking hand-in-hand with her. As he got older, Egypt got the strangest feeling that something bad was about to happen, and found himself hanging onto everyone of his mother's words as though it was to be her last.
Far too soon, it was. In the same period of time Egypt had seen the deaths of his mother, his aunt and Greece's mother, Rome himself, and Germania. But it was his mother who went down first.

He was only physically about 10 years old, and mentally even younger, when he'd been entrusted with the nation of Egypt. It was a frightening prospect, and Egypt found himself looking back to all those words he'd clung to for some sort of advice that his mother might've left him without his being aware of it. A memory had wormed it's way into his mind, then, of one of the things his mother had told him when he was still very young, and she relatively strong.

"Words mean nothing. Words are only strong when they are backed by actions; it's never enough to say something, you have to do something."

She had been upset with Rome that day, if Egypt could recall correctly; mad because he'd been trying to convince her that he loved her, and Aegyptus, sick of heartache, wasn't having it any longer. (Though, if memory served, she did accept him again that time. And every time after that). But, those words had imprinted themselves in Egypt's mind, and the young boy was quick to realize how true they were; lies were everywhere, pretty words disguised as truths that were really only meant to deceive and hurt people. As a child, Egypt had always been quiet, always watching. For him it became very easy to take that advice to heart, and to only speak when it was necessary; surprisingly, that was very infrequently.

Some people were quick to adapt to Egypt's sudden muteness; Rome, his then caretaker, had figured that this was his way of mourning and left him to it, and Greece, who was then (and still is) his closest friend simply accepted it and moved on. Others, like Turkey, had been and still were annoyed by it, but had no choice but to accept, as no one could talk him out of it.

Of course, he still did speak sometimes. Egypt could actually be an eloquent speaker when he chose too, and he knew how to take his time and plan out exactly what he needed to say, and he always knew the most concise manner in which something could be put. But the fact was that he spent most of his time observing, his mind racing with thoughts and ideas, that the need to speak rarely ever presented itself, and so, why bother?

Greece knew exactly where to go find Egypt when the man was upset; for someone whose country was a lot desert, Egypt had a great love for the water. It made perfect sense, of course, because most major cities in the country were based around the Nile River, or the Mediterranean or Red Seas (and now the Suez Canal as well), and it wasn't something that had phased the Greek (although, in truth, not much really did phase him).

"Hey, you okay?" Greece asked as he sat down beside Egypt, on a wall that overlooked the East River, just outside of the UN building.

Egypt looked up at him with a sad smile and nodded, before turning back to watch the ripples in the water.

"I don't have to tell you that you don't have to answer to any of them. You already know that." Greece mused, and Egypt nodded, reaching out to pet the cat sitting in Greece's lap. The kitten purred and nuzzled into Egypt's hand, and his smile grew.

"So why do you let them get to you? You know better than anyone how meaningless words are." This time the tiny smirk on Greece's face was unmistakable. Egypt felt a little betrayed, but mostly he just wanted to laugh. In the end he settled for neither, and silently agreed.

"Why does it matter?" He asked finally, looking into Greece's hazel eyes for an answer.

"What, whether or not you choose to speak?" Egypt nodded, and so Greece continued. "It doesn't. I think they're more amazed by your tenacity than anything else. That, or just bored." Egypt held up two fingers to show he suspected it was the second, and Greece agreed. A moment passed where they sat in silence, simply watching the flow of the river, and then Greece yawned loudly. Egypt laughed internally, only a grin on his face betraying his amusement. Prodding his friend in the shoulder, Egypt pulled Greece back up and led him into the meeting room once again, so that Greece could finish his nap.

When they did get back into the room, Prussia went up to Egypt and, with a very well placed prod to the back from Germany, apologized for his "insensitivity".

"It's fine." The Egyptian assured, and Prussia's mouth fell open.

"You do talk!!" He half-sounded like he was accusing Egypt, especially with the way he was pointing at him in surprise. Egypt nodded, and Prussia's expression turned into an awed smile.

"Oh man, so that's what your voice sounds like!" Egypt couldn't help but smile at the surprise in Prussia's tone. Germany was not as equally amused.

"Ehm, okay, now that we've got everyone back, let's pick up where we left off." There were a few hushed groans at Germany's taking over once again, but within 3 minutes the scene was exactly as it had been 20 minutes ago. When the coast was clear Prussia dramatically pulled a crumpled piece of paper of out his pocket; a list appropriately named "List of Awesome Things to Do Before my Awesome Death." With a flourish he crosses another thing off, and France and Spain quietly clap for his accomplishment. "Item 6: Make Egypt speak to the Awesome Me at a World Conference in front of EVERYONE"


Credit for the title goes to SmrtyPantz. I really don't have much to say about this, other than that even when it's not about Prussia, it's about Prussia. He's just too awesome.

Please review if you liked~ And, if you didn't, you should probably review as well, to let me know ;)