By: Emo Fox

It was recess when Zim had first witnessed a 'kiss'.

He had spotted two children under the jungle gym, the boy had approached the female first, running at her, grabbing her arm and then their mouths were crushed together. Zim had been transfixed by the odd display of a custom he wasn't yet familiar with.

However, just as their mouths touched the girl shoved the boy away, causing him to fall unceremoniously to the ground – his eyes tearing up as the female just grinned wickedly and skipped away in Zim's direction.

Zim caught his wits, looking to the girl as she came towards him, "Earth monkey!" He yelled to her, it caught her attention, her confused blue eyes looking to him as she stopped her merry skip.

She blinked as she pointed to herself, noticing Zim staring at her but not understanding why he called her that name, "Me?"


She shrugged, "What?"

"What was that?" Zim asked, waving his hand towards the jungle gym.

She looked over her shoulder at the wounded boy then back to Zim, "It was a kiss. God, your so weird, you don't know what a kiss is?" She put her hands on her hips, eyeing him with an odd expression.

"Zim is normal!" He yelled before he began to speak again, "What do kisses do?"

She rolled her eyes, "You kiss someone when you really hate them." She decided to start skipping again, skipping right past Zim, "Bye weird kid!"

Zim lifted a claw to his chin, staring at nothing as he contemplated what she said.

Was this a normal Earth custom he was unaware of?

She had no reason to lie.

Kisses expressed hate?

Zim continued to think on the subject before he felt a sharp pain to the back of his head, he growled and turned around quickly, glaring here and there as he tried to find the cause of the pain, "Who?!"

Dib laughed, jumping into Zim's view, his expression rather smug as he stood before the alien. "Victory for Earth!" He said, grinning as he tossed a rock up and down in his palm, apparently that had been the cause of Zim's pain. "Prepare to die alien scum!"

Zim was about to counter the annoying human when the bell rang, the shrill sound causing the kids to begin gathering back towards the school. Zim stood up straight, glaring hard at the big-headed human. He wanted to yell, scream, punch him, do something to get that expression off his face and then he remembered what the girl had said. He lunged forward, grabbing the front of Dib's coat, yanking him to his level as he crushed their lips together.

Dib didn't have time to respond, he had been glancing to the school; having been unnerved when Zim didn't say anything at first. He was caught off-guard as Zim grabbed the front of his jacket, making him fall into Zim's face. Dib's hands braced on Zim's shoulders, his amber eyes wide and staring into angry blue.

Zim pulled back, making sure to shove the human away as he did so, grinning that smug grin of his as he glared down at Dib.

Dib had fallen back from the shove, still in shock over what just happened. His eyes were still wide and his arm was covering his mouth as if expecting another assault, "Di-Did you just kiss me?"

"Yes," Zim said as if that was the most normal thing in the world to do.

"W-Why?" Dib got himself off the ground, his cheeks bright red unable to grab at a thread of composure.

"Because," Zim brushed by Dib, glancing over his shoulder, "I hate you." He turned his back on the human, starting up the steps to the school.



This just popped in my head. I'm sure it's been done a million times, but I wanted to do something cute and short just so I could start working on my other chapter stories. I hope this was enjoyable, reviews are always appreciated!