A late birthday fic for Kakashi :) So what if it's a day late? Haha.
Well, I've been wanting to write a angstKakashi fic for a while, and here it is. Hope you enjoy :)
Don't own anything.
What a laugh.
The gradual changing seasons, the constant twenty-hour shifts of hard running, four-hour power sleeps, the steady ticks of the clock…
And a change of digit in his age is the result.
Kakashi couldn't see what the big deal was.
"Happy fourteenth birthday, Kakashi-kun!"
"Well done, Kakashi-kun."
He forced his face to relax and allowed a small smile to show.
"Thank you," he said with the ease of a practiced liar.
And then he fled the party.
The memorial stone shone brightly in the sunlight.
His feet had somehow known the way, had somehow navigated through the distressed crevices of his mind.
What a laugh.
Why the hell should he be celebrating this measly change in age when he should be out there, fighting a battle to the death, matted in blood and sweat?
Why the hell should he be safe and sound in the village when so many of his fellow shinobi are fighting off the last waves of Iwa's force?
Why the hell was he celebrating turning fourteen… when Obito would never again celebrate another birthday?
Fuck, he wanted to curse.
Shit, he wanted to snarl in anger.
Why? he wanted to ask the whole fucking world.
Why the hell am I celebrating this stupid day?
When Obito would never see the light of day again, when Obito would never feel the warm sunshine on his cheeks again, when Obito would never see his loved ones' smiles anymore.
Why should he be celebrating when he wanted, more than anything, to be dead, to be the one who had been crushed under those boulders?
Obito would never turn fourteen, would never age another day in his life. Forever in his mind, Obito would always be thirteen, would always have an infuriating grin on his face, would always sport hideous orange goggles.
And maybe that's why he was so scared.
Scared that maybe he would forget that Obito was dead, scared that he might ask sensei if he saw Obito approaching yet, scared that maybe he'd ask Rin if she'd given Obito the last piece of barbeque.
He was scared that he'd slip up and then they'd all see how unstable his mind was becoming.
He could see him sometimes. The Uchiha would always beckon towards him slowly, would sometimes send him those exasperating smiles and those defiant glares.
It's usually when the final strike of a katana is slicing towards him, usually when he can taste death on his lips, usually when he sees a comrade die in front of him, that he sees the familiar images of his late teammate.
Whenever he sees Obito, another shinobi has to be there to push him out of the killing blow, has to be there to clear his mind with panicked words.
Those are the times where someone has to restrain him from killing the other shinobi in a fit of rage.
That shinobi's words, that shinobi's quick actions... they'd stopped him from finally seeing Obito, from finally being with him, from finally... apologizing to him.
Kakashi's scared that... when it's sensei's or Rin's turn to stop him... that he won't be able to hold back, won't be able to repress the anger that overtakes him in those mad fits.
Obito... I'm scared.
A passing wind ruffles his hair, tearing him out of his thoughts.
The wind picks up, shaking the trees violently.
Kakashi tries not to think too much about how the howl of the wind sounds so much like Obito wheezing for breath after a tumultuous sprint towards Team Minato's meeting spot.
Kakashi doesn't know what gives him the power to stand up from the dusty ground. He doesn't know what propels his feet forward. He doesn't know how he finds his way through the crowded streets of Konoha.
But he does.
His feet are silent against the tiled roofs as he takes the easiest route to the restaurant where everyone's gathered at.
Kakashi steps in through the welcome flaps, not too sure what to say.
He's glad that he doesn't have to.
"Happy birthday, Kakashi." Sensei's bright blue eyes smile at him. "Glad you made it back."
Kakashi doesn't smile back, but he does take a seat. He doesn't smile when he sees Kushina-san trip over Sensei, but he does manage a hoarse chuckle. He doesn't smile when Rin drops the cake, but he does manage to pat her head comfortingly when he sees her tear up slightly.
And through out the rest of the party, Kakashi eyes the empty seat beside him, taking secret glances at it.
It's at the end of the party that Kakashi finally smiles.
Glad you could make it, Obito.