This is my first ever fanfic that I am posting. I've written many but never posted any!

Tell me how this sounds, and if you people think that its worth it please tell me so I'll continue it, and if it seems like crap tell me so I'll discontinue!


I apparently don't own anything, although like most people I wish I did!


The one thing I never learned properly was how to love someone.

Sure I loved my parents, my friends but I had never been able to fall in love.

I had seen my parents divorce at a very young age and that made me realise just how much love could hurt someone.

Granted I had also seen the love Jasper and Alice had, the love Rosalie and Emmett had but what were the chances that I would find love like that?

After all one out of every two marriages failed!

Even though I knew it was unrealistic and not possible I dreamed of a fairytale ending, where my Prince Charming would save me from my demons and then we'd ride into the sunset to live happily ever after.

Even though I deemed it impossible I never stopped dreaming or hoping for that matter.

My dad had once told me that I should always keep either my head or my feet on the ground and the other in the clouds (feet on the ground and head in the clouds or vice versa).

At first I didn't understand what he meant, but now I understood it crystal clear.

It meant that if both of them were at the same place together no matter the ground or clouds I would go mad!

But right now I didn't know what this was or what was happening.

Was this love or some sort of like?

Was it possible to love someone like him after everything he had done to me?

I knew that he had a messed up past and some part of him was still broken and hurting but that didn't excuse all the pain he had given me or did it?

But wasn't love the wrong thing to do?

Hadn't I seen time and time again how love had hurt someone to the brink of death, of suicide?

He had told me time and time again that he loved me but was it possible, or was it all lust that he had mistaken as love?

I knew that I didn't have many –scratch that – any way of getting out of this, he had made it clear, so what was I to do now?

Should I listen to my heart or head?

Why couldn't they both agree one the same thing?

Why was it that my heart was screaming something and my head contradicting it?

Should I risk everything or stay behind the walls that I had carefully crafted to stay behind?

The feelings were there, but should I act on them or silence them?

Silencing my feelings would surely make them go away, right?

But the main question was should I or should I not love Edward Masen?

*~*Mama never told me how to love
Daddy never told me how to feel
Mama never told me how to touch
Daddy never showed me how to heal

Mama never set a good example
Daddy never held Mama's hands
Mama found everything hard to handle
Daddy never stood up like a man

I've walked around broken, emotionally frozen
Getting it on, getting it wrong

It's hard to talk, to say what's deep inside
It's hard to tell the truth, when you've always lied

How do you love someone and make it last?

How do you love someone without getting hurt?
How do you love someone without crawling in the dirt?
So far in my life, clouds have blocked the sun
How do you love, how do you love someone?*~*


The song is "How Do You Love?" Ashley Tisdale

And please do review and tell me if I should continue or not!