The Espada's Guide to Life, Hueco Mundo and Everything.
Date: 17/09/09 / Updated: 14/02/10

Summary: Even the Espada need entertainment. That's why Ulquiorra started this 'wisdom-book' to pass the time. Featuring entries from all in Las Noches.

Characters: Everyone in Las Noches.

Pairings: None.

Spoilers: Only if you don't know who all the Espada are…

Disclaimer: …consider yourself lucky I don't own it.


I am not sure exactly what prompted me to start this book in the first place. I suppose it is because even I, the most disciplined of the Espada, become bored at times, seeking some entertainment. I am certain that I am not the only member of Las Noches who becomes restless, and therefore I decided to start this: The Espada's Guide to Life, Hueco Mundo and Everything. A wisdom-book, if you like.

If you happen to come across this book, and you obviously have as you are reading this, then I ask you to add a bit of information, advice, or even a rant in here. (I believe humans have a means of sharing useless, though entertaining, long-winded speeches about nothing in particular. They call it LiveJournal.)

However, if you wish to put something that would be classified as…inappropriate (yes, I am looking at you, Nnoitra) then do not put in here.

As always, being the control-freak that I know I am, there are a few rules.

1. At the start of an entry, tell us how you came across this book.

2. When you finish putting in an entry, leave the book somewhere where someone will find it.

3. If you find this book, you must put something into it. Otherwise, this is the only piece of writing that will ever end up in it. (Fact: I find that most Espada would not even brush their teeth unless they were forced to.)

4. Absolutely NO profanity.

5. Do NOT (note the bold and capitals) edit, deface, vandalise, or graffiti any part of this book. This includes previous pages which have already been filled in. "Commentary" is banned.

6. As a general rule of thumb, put only entries in here that you would be willing to show to me.

7. Refrain from talking about the location of this book to anyone else; it ruins this concept of 'fun' that comes with it. Along the same lines, do not put your name with your entry either. Some of the more pea-brained Arrancar may gain amusement from guessing who wrote what.

Also, this book is not strictly for the Espada, and any lower-ranking members of Hueco Mundo are welcome to put something in. Espada simply looked better on the cover.

I am not certain how many entries will fit inside here, so if need be more pages will be added.

It is regrettable that I have to put so many warnings, but I feel this is necessary, knowing the Espada. Hopefully this will get the message through: break the rules and I will find you. And hurt you. I also feel obliged to add that there is a tracking device with this book, in case someone decides to accidentally lose it.

That is all I have to say; may the pages of this book be filled with the wisdom of all of Las Noches.

~~U. Schiffer.