The Espada's Guide to Life, Hueco Mundo and Everything.
Date: 14/02/10

~6~

The Key to a Perfect Fraccion

Welcome, one and all, to what is likely to be on of the most intelligent entries in this book.

Today I am writing to talk about a seldom-discussed and often ignored subject: fraccion. Ah, yes – those loyal, disposable Arrancar who we privileged Espada can torture for our own sick amusement.

Or is that just me?

Anyway, I have often received queeries regarding the exact flavour of my edible Fraccion. Let me say now that they all, in fact, have their own different flavour.

I have long since perfected the art of Fraccion-cuisine. Take any one of my Fraccion and you will find that each has their own unique taste. Lumina tastes like chicken, while Verona has a sweet-chilli flavour.

Every now and then I get requests from my fellow Espada to create flavoured Fraccion for them, and, once, to make a current Fraccion chocolate flavoured. (I do not disclose names.)

As a matter of fact, I am considering starting a small business that sells edible Fraccion in Pez-like dispensers. Once the FracPill™ makes contact with the air, it expands into a fully sized Fraccion with the flavour stated on the pack. Ready to eat in seconds!

For more information on FracPills™, contact Szayel Aporro Granz at:

S.A. Granz
Room 8, Laboratory Wing
Las Noches
Hueco Mundo

***

Nonono, put that DOWN! DON'T TOUCH THAT! OH SH-

Alright. I admit that having...modified Fraccion does have its downsides. Erm...limited intelligence being one. This can - er, excuse me for a second -

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THAT'S HCI? IDIOT!

And NOW I'm gonna have to make ANOTHER of you! YOU LOT ARE USELESS!

As I was saying, this can be quite a hindrance if, for example, you rely on your Fraccion for assistence during a particularly complicated operation, as they have a tendency to zone out and not watch where they are goojdoijoijoisdjetnkejokj;ltajdfdaffad

Alright, new rule - NOBODY BUMPS ME WHEN I'M WRITING! IN FACT, ALL OF YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! PERSONAL BUBBLE, PEOPLE!

Okay, okay, calm down Szayel. They're gone now. It's alright. You're in your room, far away from them all. That loud crash coming from inside the lab has nothing to do with...oh.

WHAT THE **** HAPPENED HERE?! WHY IS THE LAB ON FIRE? WHAT DID YOU DO? THAT'S IT! EVERYBODY IN HERE GETS TO DIE! Excluding me...YOU'RE ALL USELESS!

Much, much later:

The bottom line, people. Unless you're prepared to suffer very horribly, don't modify Arrancar so that they're edible and then use them as your Fraccion. Get a nice, normal Fraccion, like...like Tesla. Or...Halibel's Fraccion. You know, the ones who argue constantly over freakin' tea for Chrissakes, I mean seriously, it's tea, who cares whether you use bags or leaves or...

Actually, be like Ulquiorra.

Don't get any Fraccion.

**

I really need to stop making so many AN's...anyway, thanks for all the ideas everyone, and no, this story is not abandoned...I'm just...a horrible procrastinator. I'm also going through and replacing the chapters in here, fixing them up etc. 'cause I'm just cool like that *cero'd* Anyways, the Prologue to Nnoi's chapter (4) have all been replaced.

Thanks again to all!