A/N: Thank you very much for the reviews. Here are the last two chapters, I'm a little sad to see this end for the second time *sigh. But here it is.
Chapter 16: Hard decisions
Angel sat on the dark room. All the memories of what Angelus had done had come back in one big flash. He couldn't even look at Buffy properly without feeling the misery of knowing that he had hurt her. One of his greatest fears had come to pass and Angelus had been free. And now he didn't want to destroy the world, he wanted to make Buffy his, forever. That thought scared Angel even more than anything, that Angelus would turn Buffy, make her a soulless demon. She would be invincible, stronger than any vampire before and probably more cruel. Slayer had never been turned before but Angelus always wanted to do things that no one else had the guts to do, like waking Acathla or siring a slayer that was becoming the strongest slayer that ever lived. The thought of her as a vampire made him cold and terrified, he knew he couldn't kill her and now he knew how she felt when he was first turned into Angelus years back.
He closed his eyes trying to get away from his thoughts but it was no good. He felt the warmness spread through him and he knew she was near. He lifted his gaze to look into her eyes, they showed the same sadness he was feeling.
"Hey", she whispered with a soft voice.
"Hey", was his only response and he lowered his head in shame, memory of hitting her flashed through his mind. Buffy looked at him, feeling like she was pulled to all sides but finally she walked to the bed and sat next to him. Gently she took his hand into hers but he wouldn't look at her.
"Angel, it wasn't your fault. And it wasn't you that did those things", she said and stroked his hand with her fingers.
"Because of me, Angelus was freed", he said and turned to look at Buffy with misery written all over his eyes.
"I was there too, remember. Who would have thought that after all these years it would still happen."
"Buffy, you are always going to be my perfect happiness", he said and cupped her cheek with his large hand. "And that is why we can never be together", he said with a low voice that was filled with pain. Buffy closed her eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek.
"I know", she whispered, the same pain showed in her voice. She opened her eyes and looked at him, memorizing every line on his face. "What he said to me... He was right", she started and took short breathes, trying to keep herself from crying. "I do feel something for him, not just the hate. I hate him and I love him", she continued and he looked away. She grabbed his chin and turned him to face her. "He isn't you, he's a soulless demon. But he still is a part of you, he can hurt me as badly as he can, but still I can't kill him because he is in you. He can try to kill me but it doesn't change it."
"Buffy. He wasn't going to kill you this time. He was going to turn you, make you his forever", Angel whispered and Buffy's eyes widened in horror, being turned into a vampire was still one of her greatest fears. "Even back in Sunnydale, he loved you and that's why he wanted to kill you. But now, he wanted to make you his, make you as bad as he is. The first time he wasn't going to turn you because you would have been so much stronger than any other vampire, even him. But now he embraced it, he always had a thing for strong minded women", he said and continued in his mind: 'and breaking them'.
"I love you, Angel. But I know now that we can't be together because there is too many forces against us. I can't handle bringing him back for the third time. And we don't know what would happen, if he turned me, it would be worse than anything I can imagine", she whispered and looked at him with teary eyes.
"I know. I love you more than life itself and it kills me inside that we can't be together", he said and pulled her closer. She closed her eyes, pressing her face to the crook of his neck.
"I'll be in Sunnydale and you will stay here. But we'll keep in touch, phones have been invented you know", she said without lifting her head. Her tears were soaking his shirt.
"I know, I was around then. This is not a goodbye." He kissed the top of her head and let a tear fall from his eye.
Buffy and Angel went to the others, the feeling was very uncomfortable. "Hey Angel", Willow said with a bright smile and Angel just nodded, saying a court 'Willow' back to her.
"Can I hitch a ride with you, Willow?" Buffy asked feeling more depressed than ever before, even worse than when Angel left Sunnydale, then she didn't know about the day that wasn't because it hadn't happened yet. Now it was even more hard to let him go.
"Of course you can, Buffy", Willow said feeling very excited, she could talk to her in private on the way back to Sunnydale.
"Save some room in the backseat cause I'm going to tag along, Sabrina", Faith said and Willow frowned. She didn't like it but she nodded anyway.
Cordelia crossed her arms and looked at Buffy with narrow eyes. "So you're leaving?" she asked tapping her foot to the floor.
"Yes. It's for the best", Buffy answered and shifted her gaze away.
"Well, it's not gonna do any good. You tried that, it didn't work. I don't want Angelus visiting again but he can be brought back other ways than just the big happy", Cordelia said and sighed deep when neither of the lovers changed their minds. "Fine, be pigheaded. But if you won't send me e-mail on regular basis, I will come after you! And it won't be pretty", she threatened and shook her finger in the air.
"Of course I will", Buffy promised and flashed a brief smile. She then turned to Wesley and shook his hand. "It was nice to see you again. You've grown up since Sunnydale."
"It was my pleasure", he answered and a awkward silence fell to the room.
Buffy and Angel looked at each other with longing and Cordelia took it as her cue. She grabbed Wesley and started to pull him out of the room. "Come on, I have something to ask you about filing", she said dragging him out.
Faith also grabbed Willows arm and said: "We'll wait in the car." After Willow and Faith had left the room, they looked at each other, with great longing.
"This isn't a goodbye", Buffy whispered and walked to him. He nodded and took hold of her hand, threading his fingers with hers. A tear rolled down her cheek and he wiped it off with his finger. "I love you, Angel", she whispered with a barely audible voice.
"I love you too", he said back and bent down into a gentle kiss. It was full of love, longing and bittersweet farewell.
To be continued…
A/N: For once I decided not to be evil and not make you wait till tomorrow for the next chapter. See, I can be a nice person at times, heh.
Chapter 17: Misery
For two days Buffy didn't leave her apartment, she was too depressed to even move. Faith was looking after her making sure that she wouldn't kill herself in cookie dough fudge mint ice cream. But the day came when she had to confront the gang but she didn't have enough energy in her to care. For the second time she had just lost the only person she would ever truly love. Scoobies really didn't look scary compared to that.
Buffy went to Giles' apartment where she had been summoned. The uncomfortable silence didn't last long. "I can not believe that you would be stupid enough to give in to your... carnal desires on the danger of setting Angelus free. So please, do tell us how did it happen?"Giles said barely keeping his British cool.
"It was a spell made by an evil law firm that has a big yen for the apocalypse. The spell made us loose control", she explained feeling a little ashamed but she hid it with a remark: "Who would have guessed lawyers to be evil."
Willow was the only one to give her a small smile, Giles and Xander just glared at her. "I'm not gonna say I told you so. But... I told you so", Xander said feeling very pleased with himself, he had been right.
"Xander, shut up", Willow said with no hostility in her voice, it was more like a request. She was pissed at Buffy for letting Angelus loose but she also understood that she must be hurting more than ever now that she had come face to face with the fact that she could never be with Angel.
"No, Willow. For once I'm gonna say what I want about Angel. Buffy wanted to be with him without caring about anyone else. We all knew what was going to happen but she didn't care about anyone but herself. And soon she gave him the big happy!"
"You are such a hypocrite, Xander", Buffy said with a low voice, she had kept quiet but now she had had it. Everyone turned to look at her in surprise.
"What?!" Xander yelled in shock.
"You are a hypocrite, Xander. You preach how Angel is a demon and doesn't deserve anything good because he has killed people. But you are dating Anya, who is an ex demon that has killed countless of men during the hundreds of years she has existed. And she would still kill if she would get her powers back", she said and crossed her arms in front of her, she wasn't going to back down this time.
"No she wouldn't!" Xander defended at the same time as Anya confirmed: "Yes, I would." Xander spun around to look at her. "If I got my powers back, it would be bound to happen", she continued like it was no big deal and to her it wasn't.
"She isn't serious", Xander explained to the others but Anya just looked at him like he had said something in a different language.
"Yes I am. Why would I lie?"
"Well, it's different with Anya!" Xander said feeling defensive.
"Of course it is when it's about you", Buffy answered and looked at him challenging him with her eyes. "I'm sure you all are happy, I now know there is no chance for me and Angel. I will live the rest of my short life alone with a scrap of a heart because other half of it is in LA. And that's what slayers life is, short", she said and everyone in the room flinched. "Wake up from the dream, people. I have already lived pass my life expectancy. And without Angel my life will be a lot shorter. But hey, I don't care about anyone except myself, isn't that right Xander", she said and picked up her jacket. "I'm not going to explain myself to you anymore. I have to be responsible, go to work and make the world safe to people", she said and left the apartment.
Willow looked after her, feeling torn. "We need to do something", she said to the others.
"Yeah. Is the therapy for slayers or something, Giles? Maybe not. But she'll be fine, she'll be over dead boy in no time", Xander piped up. Giles just sighed and started cleaning his classes.
"Wake up, Xander. She's never going to be over him, she wasn't over him in the first place, she just let us think she was", she said and took hold of Tara's hand for support.
It had been a week since she returned to Sunnydale, she and Angel had had a pained conversation on the phone and she had received an e-mail from Cordelia. She was complaining about him brooding and that made her even more depressed, Cordelia could see him and she could not.
Buffy sighed deeply and pressed her face back into the pillow. She just waited for the moment that she would have to go to work and patrol. They were the two things that could keep her mind off of Angel, even if it was only for a moment. Slowly she got up from the bed, wiped away the tears and changed her clothes. Everything was bleak, she couldn't feel anything anymore but she had to function.
There was a soft knock on the door. "It's open", she shouted, she never used the words come in while answering the door. Willow stepped into the apartment and looked at Buffy closely, she could tell she had been crying. Every time she saw her, her eyes were red from crying or she looked tired like she hadn't slept in days.
"How are you?" she asked uncertainly but she already knew the answer.
"Trying to stay alive", Buffy answered and finally turned to look at Willow in the eyes. Willow could still remember the conversation she had with Buffy before the prom, for some reason the look in the blonde's eyes brought that memory to her mind.
"It will get better", she tried but Buffy just shook her head.
"Maybe a little. But there is still a part of me missing. And no one can fill it", she said and sat on the couch. She wouldn't let the tears come. Willow placed her hand on Buffy's shoulder and she lifted her eyes to hers. Seeing all the misery on her friends eyes, she made the decision.
"It's a very powerful spell, Willow", Tara said uncertainly and looked at the script.
"I know, but I have to do it. I owe her and him too. And together we can perform this, they deserve it. And it's my way of making things right, my redemption", she said desperately and Tara nodded in understanding.
"Yes, I know, Willow. And they do deserve it, the way her aura shone when she was with him, it was wonderful."
"So let's do it", Willow smiled and took hold of her girlfriend's hand.
Angel sat in his office, brooding and staring at a picture of Buffy that he had been drawing without even noticing it. He traced the features with his finger and closed his eyes. But suddenly he felt a warm feeling go past him, it burned him like fire. Groaning from the growing pain, he fell to the floor but tried to stay focused. He had no idea what was happening, the pain was so intense, almost like when he had lost his soul. But still not the same, this was like fire burning inside him and he couldn't feel the soul being ripped out.
Cordelia and Wesley rushed to the room. "What happened?!" Wesley asked and knelled next to him.
"I don't know", Angel managed to say once the pain reduced. "I feel weird", he added trying to get up but his legs didn't hold and he almost fell to the floor. Wesley managed to catch him, even if it was hard to keep him from falling anyway. He and Cordelia helped him into the chair.
"Could it be something that the Wolfram and Hart did?" Wesley asked but Angel shook his head.
"I don't think so."
"We should do some research, this seems like magic", he said and Cordelia sighed irritated.
"Well, I can't. Some of us have a life, I have a date, with a man. Hopefully no headache will interrupt this time", Cordelia said.
"But Cordelia", Wesley started but he was interrupted by Angel.
"You should go, you deserve a break."
"If you're sure. Then I'm off to my hot date", she said and walked away without waiting for confirmation that she could.
"Why don't I ever get a night off?" Wesley asked but Angel didn't answer.
Buffy walked home after a long night. The slaying had been good, five vamps and a demon, none of them had a chance because she was venting all the anger and sorrow into her slaying. She pushed the key into the lock and turned to look at Willow who had appeared next to her.
"Hey, I have great news", she said without managing to keep a wide smile out of her face.
"What did you do?" Buffy asked suspiciously keeping a small grin away from her face.
"Angels soul is bound!" Willow cried out, she couldn't wait any longer without bursting, she thought on a Hellmouth it might be even literal.
Buffy's eyes widened in surprise and she choked out: "What?!"
"Tara and I did a spell. You and Angel can be together without being afraid of him going grrr. You two deserve it. I have been a bad friend and this is my way of redemption."
A wide bright smile lit on Buffy's face and she pulled Willow into a tight hug. "I love you, Willow", she said with a teary voice and then it hit her. "I need to get to LA", she said anxiously. She looked around her, feeling her pockets for keys and wallet.
"Go!" Willow encouraged her and Buffy started to leave. "Oh Buffy, wait! How are you going to get there, it's middle of the night?" Willow yelled after her.
Buffy turned smirking and answered: "I know someone who can drive me." And with that she ran out leaving Willow smiling brightly on the hallway.
"Oh bloody slayer, I don't know how you talked me into doing this", Spike growled out and pulled over the dead beat car.
"Because I threatened you with bodily harm and offered you hundred bucks", Buffy answered and stuck two fifty dollar bills to his hand.
"Well, don't expect me to pick you up", he said and tucked the bill to his pocket.
"Who said I was coming back anytime soon", she said smirking and left the car, running inside the building.
"Bloody crazy chit", Spike said and started driving away.
Buffy stepped inside the building and her eyes landed on Angel and Wesley doing research in his office. He lifted his gaze and their eyes met. "You were supposed to call", she said and walked into the room.
Wesley spun around looking like a deer caught in headlights. "Buffy", he stammered.
"Hey there Wesley. I need to talk to Angel", Buffy answered and closed the door.
Wesley didn't seem to think it was a good idea but he got up anyway. "Yes, of course", he said and left the room.
Buffy locked the door behind him and pulled down the blinds. "Buffy", Angel started but Buffy silenced him by running to him, jumping into his arms and pulling him into a passionate kiss.
When the kiss broke, Angel looked at her confused. "Buffy?"
"Your soul is bound. Willow and Tara did a spell", she answered and pulled him into another kiss. Angel sat her down to the edge of the table and broke the kiss.
"Say that again?"
"You won't loose your soul again, and your never going to get rid of me again."
A wide smile rose the his lips after he was over the first shock and he grabbed her shoulders, pulling her into a passionate kiss. "I never want to get rid of you", he said and kissed her again pulling her as close to his body as it was physically possible.
The kiss turned more passionate by the second and he lifted her back to the desk, quickly sweeping the items to the floor. With quick frantic moves they tore their clothes off and she grabbed his already rock hard cock. She stroked him firmly while his finger plunged into her wet heat. But neither of them had any patience left and he pulled her fingers out of her before slamming her against the hard surface of the desk and thrusting deep into her wet heat. They both moaned loudly and she grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into a ravaging kiss while he started to move inside her. She arched her back off the table and wrapped her leg around his trying to pull him closer. Her nails raked the skin on his back and gently bit down to his neck while squeezing her inner muscles around his cock. It was almost his undoing. He growled down his throat and sped his thrusts hitting her clit with every stroke.
They both could feel their climax nearing, her hands wandered all around his back till finally settling to his hair. She gripped him by the hair, hard and pulled him into a brutal kiss gently biting his lower lip. She pulled back and whispered huskily to his ear: "Bite me."
He growled deep down in his chest and tried to resist the urge to do as she said but his protest was forgotten when she licked his neck before sinking her blunt teeth into his skin. He snarled, his face changing into his demon form and he pulled her head to the side and sank his teeth into her soft skin not slowing down his pace pumping inside her. The powerful blood filled his mouth and he felt her quickly reaching her first peak. She screamed his name and climaxed, her inner muscles rippling around his member and milking his release from him. He shot his seed inside her and pulled his fangs from her skin, kissing the fresh wound. He pressed his face against her shoulder, breathing in her scent and giving a soft kiss to the crook of her neck.
Buffy sighed and turned to smile at him, lifting her hand and slowly tracing the features of his face. Angel pulled a step back before picking her into his arms and sitting in his chair with her in his lap. He pulled her into a soft, languid kiss and wrapped his arms around her protectively, just cherishing the moment.
"I love you", she murmured against his lips and pulled away from his lips, trailing kisses across his cheek before moving down to his neck.
"I love you too", he answered, feeling himself growing hard again. She shifted in his lap, straddling him while kissing and gently nibbling at his neck, her hands moved slowly down to his lap and with her other hand she slowly stroked his cock. She abandoned his neck and claimed his lips again.
Buffy lifted herself up before impaling herself with his hard flesh and she started rocking on him, in a slow up and down motion while gyrating her hips once in a while, setting a slow rhythm. He cupped her breasts into his hands, kneading them in the same pace as her movements while his lips concentrated on her neck where the old scar was. She whispered his name as she felt his cock touch her g-spot, sending waves of pleasure through her body.
Angel bent forward, capturing her left nipple into his mouth while he played with the other with his thumb as his other hand wandered around her naked back finally settling to the back of her neck, threading his fingers in her hair. He thrust more forcefully into her causing her to whimper in pleasure, her nails digging into his shoulders before she pulled his face up into a fiery kiss. His other hand left its place on her hair and made its way between her legs and he started to rub her clit slowly building her towards the second climax.
Soon she sped her pace, wrapping her arms around his neck and moaning his name till she reached her peak, her inner walls rippling around him, squeezing till he coated her walls with his seed. She buried her face into the crook of his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder she let out a content sigh.
Angel sat in his office chair holding Buffy in his arms and slowly stroking her hair. He watched her sleep and he knew this was right. Angelus was tide down to him, he couldn't come back. He wasn't human but he would have his soul without fear of loosing it. This time they would make it work, nothing could come between them again. Right? (smirk)
A/N: Okay, that's it. Did you really think I would let Buffy and Angel stay apart? Never gonna happen. I have an unedited sequel to this as well but I don't know on what pace I'm gonna be posting it. But once again, thank you to the readers and especially to those who reviewed.