Rating: PG -13/T
Warnings: incest; suicidal situations; angst
Disclaimer: I don't own Heroes if I would Paire would be actual unrelated couple.
Spoilers: Vol.4 to be safe (but Nathan is alive so it's pretty much AU);
Summary: What could happen when the pain from one forbidden love became unbearable?
A/N: Written for pairechallenge's prompt #27 "Fate".
Thanks to my wonderful beta: Alex!
Claire was standing on the edge of her window. She looked down and felt the cold wind against her face. A sad little smile appeared there and she thought that this was it; this was the last thing that she was going to do in her short life. The hems of her raincoat fluttered like the wings of a small bird. Claire knew that this was going to happen someday; she was supposed to die and she knew it, but it had come just a little bit early.
'I'm Claire Bennet, and this is attempt number nine,' she murmured with a sad smile. There was no camera this time; she was as alone as she had ever been in her whole life. Claire stepped into the empty space and hung in the air. For a brief moment she thought she was flying, then her body smashed on the ground and left her numb.
Her body simply refused to die.
Her soul was dead already, but her body was not.
She felt the pain when she woke up. Her bones popped up in their places and she sat on the cold ground with a feeling of emptiness. She had died, but again she survived.
'What the hell are you doing, Claire?'
Claire shut her eyes from the pain. Peter's voice echoed close to her.
'I'm trying to die!' She got off the ground and saw the blood immediately.
'Why?' Peter grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Claire looked up at him and saw that he was angry.
'Because… I wanted to,' she snapped and pulled away. Peter did not have to see the pain in her eyes; he did not have to feel it. Claire turned her back to him.
'This is not your first time!' Peter placed his hand on her shoulder, but she jerked away and his hand hung in mid air. 'What is wrong with you?'
'Nothing.' Claire snapped. He did not have to understand.
'You weren't like this before.' His voice echoed close to her ear and she shivered. 'What happened with you Claire? Tell me!'
'I…' She turned around and sank into his eyes. Peter touched her face and wiped away her tears. Claire swallowed hard; she was crying after all. 'It's nothing.'
'I can't help you if you don't want to talk to me.' Peter's fingers lingered over her face. 'Tell me…'
'I don't want you to help me.' It killed her, but she pulled back. 'Please go now.'
'Claire.' Her name was like a gasp. His voice was so soft that she could almost feel it over her skin. Claire closed her eyes and pulled back.
'Claire, please!' Peter tried once again and she could not resist the plea in his eyes. Claire's heart ached.
'You can't save me this time Peter!' She whispered. 'I don't want to be saved!'
'I could try.'
'No, you couldn't!' She gave him her sad little smile and sank into the darkness of the night.
A few days later, she tried again. This time she snagged her father's gun and hid in her bathroom. The mansion was big and no one would hear the sound of the shot. Claire had tied her golden hair back. She looked so much older than she used to; not in her face, but her eyes looked old and tired.
Claire had cried again; her eyes were red and sore. This time she wanted it to be for the last time.
'I'm Claire Bennet, and this is attempt number ten,' she uttered and placed the gun to her head. 'Bye Claire.' She smiled bitterly and her index finger hooked on the trigger.
'No! Stop!' She heard Peter's voice again and Claire sighed tiredly.
'You cannot stop me, Peter!'
'Yes! I can!' He placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her around with her face to him. 'Stop doing this to yourself!'
'This is for the last time.' Claire sighed and put the gun down. Her eyes avoided his. 'It's too painful to me to be here, Peter. Please, just let me go.'
'Why, Claire? Why are you doing this?' He persisted, and she knew that he would not give up so easily.
'My heart is broken and it can't be fixed.' Her eyes met his and she bit her lower lip. 'It hurts too much to live.'
'No.' He reached out his hand and touched her face. Her breath hitched and the giant knot in her throat showed up again. 'You can't die like this! You can do so much more with your life.'
'What is the point?' Claire leaned on his palm; she could not resist it. 'In the end I'm going to be alone here.'
'No, you won't be alone.' His thumb skimmed over her cheekbone and she swallowed hard. 'I'm going to be here.' He hesitated. 'With you.'
'That hurts even more.' Her lower lip trembled. 'Don't you get it? I can't be here!'
'Too many questions, Peter.' Claire licked her lips and reached out her trembling hand to touch his face. 'You were good with me. You were the only one that could make me feel safe. You were and still are my hero. This won't change, no matter what happens.'
'Claire.' He whispered.
'But I can't do this. I cannot live like this anymore. I have to do this!' Claire tried to smile, but it did not work. The tragedy of her life peered through her wet, green eyes.
'Then shoot me first.' Peter grabbed her hand which was holding the gun and placed it against his forehead. 'I can't watch you do this. If I can't stop you, then you won't be alone.'
'No!' Claire hissed and shook her head furiously. 'No! I won't shoot you!'
'Why?' He challenged her. His eyes darkened. 'It's not hard. Just pull the trigger.'
'No!' She screamed and the gun slipped out from her numb fingers. 'Why are you doing this? Why?'
'Because you are not alone!' Peter released her hand and bent down. He took the gun in his hand. His hazel eyes met her green ones. 'You are never alone!'
'Stop!' Claire cried out and fell on her knees, sobbing. 'Stop doing this. It hurts me.'
'What?' Peter knelt before her and slid his hand under her chin, forcing her to look at him.
'I can't live knowing that you are not here anymore.' She shook her head. 'I can't live in this world without you!'
'And why do you think that I can do the same?' He placed the gun on the floor, beside him.
'What?' she sobbed. He took her face between his palms.
'I told you – you are not alone, Claire.' His lips almost touched hers. 'You are never alone.'
Then he kissed her and she wanted to cry even louder. He felt her shaking in his hands and pulled back to look into her sad eyes.
'I love you, so much!' She sobbed. 'It hurts me and I can't stop!'
'I know that pain.' He crooked his face. 'I loved you from the moment I saw you.' His thumbs caressed her cheeks. 'It hurt me too and I know what it's like, Claire. I know how you feel.'
'Now?' She sniffed.
'Now… you are not alone.' Peter sat on the bathroom floor and took Claire in his arms. She was crying again. 'You are not alone, Claire.'
The gun had been forgotten. There were no more attempts.
Now it was time for the lies. It was time for them and their love.
That was their fate… Their destiny.