Chapter 7: Entertaining Alaskans

M for bad language & Lemons

And yes, I guess I am in a Bowie music mood tonight;) Music belongs to its respective owners.

The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer. I just like to aggravate Edward ;)

Edward's pov

I had fretted briefly that Bella would have bad dreams about me, but the opposite was true. How on earth she could still accept me after I snapped at her was barely comprehensible. I felt honored to be the object of her generous affection. Nothing ever changed with Bella, unless it got better. What a lucky guy I was. Bella made it hard to stay upset.

I had followed orders, and not budged for 14 hours, and since I was back to normal, before dawn, Bella had taken advantage of me. So I decided that a little tit for tat was in order.

Around dawn, she got out of bed, and pulled on my favorite grey t-shirt to use the bathroom. When she returned, she stood in front of the glass wall and looked at the sunrise. I walked up behind her in my black silk boxers and embraced her.

Although excited, I knew that I could give this to Bella without losing control. After all, I had just enjoyed a healthy stress reducing activity. I crept one hand up to fondle her tits. I slid my other hand down her abdomen into her pubic hair and she gasped. I found her clit and slid my fingers over it, watching our reflections on the glass. She was so hot and wet.

Bella bent her knees a little and put her hands behind her to grip my thighs. She moaned and ground her backside into me. She was swollen and ready and her heart pounded erotically in my ears. I took my hand off her tit and moved it under her ass to the entrance of her vagina. I slid one finger in, and she arched and whimpered. She was so tight. I could barely stop myself from removing my hand and ramming my dick into her. But she was still fragile, and we only had a few more days to keep our promise to each other.

Sucking in an unsteady breath, I searched for her g, and knew I had found it when her moans intensified. Bella reached up and hung her arm around my neck. She watched us on the glass, her eyes half-open and rife with pleasure. Her unbrushed hair was tangled and wild against my chest. So hot! I pulled my wet glans out of the restraining shorts and rubbed it on her hip, matching the rhythm of my finger. I made her squirt. Four times. All over the rug. Then, she turned and grasped my dick, added some of her splooge and pumped me with one hand while pushing up on my sweet spot with the other hand. I shot my load onto her stomach. A shower was in order.

Later, Bella went down to the kitchen, wearing her navy blue silk jammies, to hunt up her breakfast. She was now chit-chatting in the living room with Tanya, Kate, Esme, Alice and Rose about girly stuff. It sounded homey.

The males had made themselves scarce. I thought I was about ready for company, however. I slipped into my navy blue sweatshirt and sweatpants, and went to get an eyeful of my girl.

"Good morning, succubi," I greeted them.

"Somebody is a lot more cheerful this morning. Did you have a good night?" Alice grinned.

"Like you don't know." I scooched my way in between Bella and Alice and put my feet up on the ottoman with Bella's. She threw part of her blanket over me. Esme smiled at us, pleased. Carlisle must have talked to her.

"So, young ones, four days left." Tanya appraised us.


"Done your personal preparations, Bella?" Alice asked, pulling out one of her last-minute lists.

"Pretty much. Alice, since you insist on packing for me, please remember I will need things like wax and tweezers, okay?" I regarded Bella quizzically.

"I want to be as maintenance free as possible, Edward," she explained, "And the time line for my renovations is not set."


"It's very important, Edward," Rose informed me waspishly. "If we take hair out by the roots, just before the change, we can't grow it back." Wish I'd had the chance to fix that problem, if I had to be a vampire at least it would have been nice to not have to shave.

"Too much information, Rose. Don't get upset with me. I'm just a guy. What do I know?"

"Now, Bella, about the hymen..." Tanya began.

Hell! Just when you thought you were safe in the water! I pinched my nose, between my eyes, and wished I had stayed upstairs. I could feel the heat radiating off of Bella's blushing skin. Well, at least something still made her blush, after being exposed to this bunch.

"That's still probably not, uh, taken care of," she mumbled. I tried to blend into the furniture.

"Well it's not the best thing to leave up to Edward, dearest Bella, and it's a lot easier to deal with now. You should do it today, so you are through with being sore before the Big Day. With that in mind, we have a little gift to help you take care of it yourself." Tanya reached behind her chair for something.

I leaped up. 'Excuse me, I am outta here!" But even though I was fast, I was not quick enough to miss seeing the large, boxed set of assorted phallic shaped vibrators now in Bella's hand. They were white silicone and they glittered. I tried not to stare as Kate passed over a huge package of DD batteries. "See you later, everyone!" I yelled as I flew up the stairs.

"Gee, um, thanks guys. That's, um, really thoughtful."

The females murmured appreciatively as they examined the dildos. "These are really good ones, Bella, you'll like them," said Alice. They're just like the ones Jazz gave me for our last anniversary.

"Is there anything else you think I should know?" Bella asked timidly.

"Maybe we ought to instruct her properly, so there are no mistakes." Esme suggested. ESME. My mind reeled. I felt queasy.

I thought about going back down and rescuing Bella from this load of vixens before they could corrupt her beyond all recognition. Then, I thought maybe I should let them be, since her mother was no use in this department.

"So, which one is Edward?" Kate asked coyly. Bet he's the biggest.

"Oh, for the love of all that's holy!" I turned around and went back down.

Holy. Cow. Fuck. Me.

All the women folk were mouthing the dildos, including Esme, laughing. Edward Cullen: scarred for life.

I covered my eyes and tried not to look. "Would you ladies do me a favor, and at least wait until I clear out of the house before you talk about this...?"

"He's such a prude" Tanya said. "How do you stand it?"

"Oh, Edward's not a prude, trust me. He just likes to keep these things private. You saw Alice's drawings. He's not shy with me at all. He's very open to experimentation." I stopped dead, open-mouthed.

"Bella! Don't say that to a succubus, please! And kindly dispose of Alice's drawings," I begged.

"I don't think so, Edward. I like her drawings. I'm keeping them as a memento. I might even hang them up in our room."

Bella took the dildo and licked it the way she had licked me, giving me the eye.

I tried to talk and nothing came out. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Will you please save it for later?" I pleaded.

I looked around the room meaningfully. "You people had best remember that I do not want Bella to be interested in anything outside the sanctity of marriage. Do not turn her onto anything involving public displays or sharing, or I will stick those... things somewhere uncomfortable."

"Don't worry Edward, we know better than to try to slip one over on you. We'll let you and your loveable little mate alone." Tanya chuckled.

"I'd appreciate that." I turned back to my fiancee, wincing.

"Have a nice Fantasia Party, Bella, and don't forget that anything you say will be used against me. I'll see you tonight.

I leaned over to give Bella a quick goodbye kiss. She tasted of silicone. Yuck. I wiped my mouth. Just then, the front door opened and all the men walked in. They stopped dead, gaping at the scene before them. Me, bending over a grinning girl holding a plastic dick, wiping my mouth off, surrounded by women chatting and eating plastic dicks. I fled to the door.

"Thank goodness you're here. Please rescue me!" I grabbed Carlisle's arm and attempted to drag him out. He shook me off, still staring incredulously. "Please! Get me out of here!" I begged, fidgeting up and down.

"You going out in the clothes you sleep in, Edward? Without benefit of tighty-whities?" Jasper had a real knack for noticing when undergarments were missing.

"There is no freakin' way I am walking past those nymphos again, Jasper."

"I think we should have a little talk with the Bimbo," Jasper told the men.

Great. Carlisle gave me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and steered me and my brothers out the door. It was going to be a long afternoon.

Aw, Edward, Can't we stay and watch?" Emmett whined.

"You want to watch your sisters and your mother pretend to suck cock?" I gaped disbelievingly.

"Why not? It's only pretend."

"NO WAY! You are gassing me!"

Three vampires eyed me seriously, heads tilted a little and arms crossed. I couldn't hear anything in their minds that contradicted Emmett's wish.

"My family is full of perverts! I can't believe this. You've never given any indication that any of you were swingers or pervs. Somebody kill me. This is too much!" I paced as I ranted, pulling my hair.


"What, Carlisle?" I pinched my eyes shut again. Soon I was going to develop a permanent indent there.

"Gotcha, Bimbo!"

My brothers guffawed and slapped me hard on the ass, and Carlisle pointed mockingly at me.

" You dirty sons of bitches." I exhaled in relief, and joined their laughter. Inside the house, the girls were laughing, too.

"Where shall we go?" Carlisle inquired. Bless him.

"Anywhere where I don't have to listen to Esme talk about sex!"

"Well, let's start off at the Stag Shop. You can get Bella some more toys, and we can order one of those custom blow up dolls." Jasper suggested.

"That's no fun. Jessica Stanley has a standard poodle you could practise on. At least it's warm." Emmett leered. Yipe, yipe, yipe, yipe!

"That's so not funny, Emmett. Gross." I smacked him on the back of the head.

"I know Edward skipped a lot of classes in high school, but I never thought he was one to fuck the dog." Carlisle teased.

"You know I have a real thing against dogs. Wolves too. Call it a complex." I put my hands in my kangaroo pocket, laughing a little ruefully at myself.

There's a Leather and Chains Convention in Vegas. We could go there. That sounds right up Edward's alley. Obviously bondage gets him off," Jasper's eyes glinted wickedly.

"Oh, boy! That's right next to the Colon Hydrotherapy and Prostate Massage Convention!" exclaimed Emmett, grabbing Jasper's arm.

"Hey, I spoke at one of those a few years back." Carlisle said.

I stopped and faced them. "What do you think Bella is going to do, stick her hand up my ass?"

All three of them eyed me, considering. Jasper answered, "You never know, Bimbo. It is best to be prepared for all eventualities. You have, after all, left her unattended with Tanya for the afternoon."

"Yeah, and the little schoolgirl next door is turning into quite the Hellcat. Nothing would surprise me," Emmett winked.

I shook my head, wincing. There was no way to live this down. I was going to be hearing about everything for a long time. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

My heckling support group walked arm and arm with me down the drive to the garage. I guessed I could take a low key bachelor party after all.

I looked wistfully back at the house, wondering what kind of surprises I would get from Bella when we got home. Still hesitating to go out and leave her there.

"Forget about it Bimbo," Jazz growled.

"It's best to let them have their way," Emmett said with brows raised.

I nodded. Letting Bella take control was going to take some getting used to.

Carlisle instigated a sing-along of Suffragette City. I had never had an appreciation for David Bowie back in the day, but found I could relate to the song now. I took over the lead part and they filled in the rest. My Suffragette City was outa sight.