Chapter 1- Why me?

Why? Why me? Why did this have to happen to me? Why did I have to be here and live like this? Oh yeah, my mom was a fucking slut that couldn't keep her legs closed for 5 seconds. She cheated on my father and took off with me claiming she didn't want to be lonely. She completely forgot about her to sons, my older brothers. I haven't seen them or my father in about 10 years. I mean sure we talk on the phone, in fact I just got off the phone with them, but it's not the same. I mean as much as I want to hate my mom I cant, I still love her, I was ok with it being just us and whatever guy she had at the time that was until 4 years ago, when Phil came along, It's been for years since my mom got remarried, 4 years since I lost hope in my parents getting back together and us being a big happy family of 5, 4 years since I became popular at school, 4 years since I hit pueberty, 4 years since I lost my virginity in the worst way possible, 4 years that I've been raped, 4 years that I've kept this secret and put on an act for everyone, my mom, dad, brothers, and friends.

Knock knock…a knock at my bedroom door brought me out of my thoughts of how I wish I could be the daddy's girl I was before that faitful day. I looked at my clock and saw it was 11:36, that meant It was to late to be a friend stopping by and saying hi, to late for the maid to come and get my laundry, to early for it to be my mom, but just about one of the normal times for it to be… Phil.

The door swung open revealing a drunken Phil. He stumbled over to my desk where I was, grabbed my arm and threw me onto my queen size bed, he then jumped on top of me, straddling me. He moaned as he kissed me starting from my jaw, down my neck to my collarbone, from there he all but ripped off my grey cami. He moaned and kissed down my chest and when he got to my right breast he licked a trail down to my nipple, glanced at me with hooded eyes filled with lust and bit sown on my nipple. I screamed out in pain, that was the first sound I had made. He trailed his tongue down my flat and sculpted stomach to my where my sweats hung loosely on my hips. In one swift movement he had my underwear and sweats off. In another swift movement he was at the foot of the bed with all his clothes on the floor. He looked at me as If I were about to disappear, and jumped on me shoving himself in me. I screamed out in pain as he filled me without letting me adjust. It's not that he was large or anything, he was actually pretty small from hearing how big an average guy was, but when he just shoved into me like that, yeah of course it was going to hurt. He moaned and moaned, saying my name then going down to suck on my breast. This had happened for so long I usually knew how to get him out of here so I could go hide in my closet and cry all night. I just had to let him tire himself out then I would fake an orgasm so he would be satisfied. Then he would be to tired to go for another round and would shrug off to bed. If he didn't think 'enjoyed myself' aka the orgasm he would hit me for a second round until I finally 'came'. I had only come once and that was the first time, when I was 13.

"Bella, baby. I need you to come for papa" He moaned. He tried on several occasions to get me to call him papa, or big papa, but that would only happen when hell froze over. I didn't say anything as he thrust harder into me, trying to hit that spot he had only hit once, which had caused my one and only orgasm. I bit back the screams and moans of pain, as he thrust harder and faster then I ever thought possible.

"Bella, beautiful Bella, please come for me, I love you " The sick bastered told me through his moans.

I seriously wanted to puke.

"Pleas-" he started to say but cut himself off with a moan as he came. He thrust a couple more times cueing me to fake my orgasm. As we rode out his orgasm he collapsed on top of me. After a minute he lifted himself off of me, but kept us connected.

"Bella, your what almost 18?"

I just nodded, afraid of where he was going with this.

"Well, as soon as you turn 18 I'm filing the divorce papers with your mom and we can go off to Vagas and get married."- WHAT?!?!? I thought. - " You don't have to finish school, I can provide for us, you can keep me happy like you do and I can keep you happy like I know I do."- Ugh! Did he seriously think he kept me happy! He continued- " I love you, now how about we satisfy each other somemore before your mom get home?"

Before I had chance to object he flipped us so I was on top.

"Ride me baby, please" he begged.

I didn't do anything

"God damn it! I said ride me NOW!" he yelled and slapped me across the face. I knew I had to do as told or I'd get a lot worse then just a slap in the face. I slowly rose up and dropped back down, as I repeated his eyes rolled back and he moaned his loudest moan yet. Apperently I wasn't going fast enough because he grabbed my waist and started shoving me down onto him, I cried out in pain for a 3rd time tonight only now I had tears streaming down my face and i was holding back sobs. Phil either didn't notice or didn't care because he just kept shoving me down on him, and moaning. He brought his head up to my chest and started sucking on each breast, alternating.

"Bella, baby come on come for me!" He moaned as he pulled me down on him, he hit that spot he had only hit once before and I came, causing him to come. He pulled me off of him, and that's when I noticed blood, that had never happened before.

Phil just chuckled "That's Ok sweetie, just clean it up, good night, I really had fun. I love you" he siad kissing my forehead and walking out of my room with his clothes balled up in his hands. I cleaned up myself and the blood, grabbed my phone and a blanket and and ran for the back corner of my closet. I shook as the violent sobs rocked through my small body. In between sobs a few minutes later I heard my mother pull up, she banged through the downstairs then up past my room to join Phil, who was probrably going to get laid AGAIN. I deabated for a moment looking at the time. It was 1:53 am here in Florida which meant in Forks it was 10:53. I picked up my phone and called one of the last people I wanted to have get involved, but I had to do this. My so called mother was off getting drunk and coming home to the 'perfect husband' when in fact the 'perfect husband was raping and abusing her 17 year old daughter behind her back, and even if she did know she probrobly woulnt care, as long as she got a piece of him.

It was kind of late for a weeknight, he might not pick up, I thought. Just as I was about to hang up I heard a groggy "Hello?"

"Dad?" I whimpered.

"Bella, what's wrong baby girl"

"I need help, your help. I need you, Emmett and Jazz" I sobbed.

"Darlin' what's wrong, your freaking me out."

"I need to get out of here, out of Florida, away from mom and PHIL!" I sobbed.

"Ok, do you just want to vis-"

I cut him off saying "No, I want to live with you! Please, I neeed you" I continued to sob.

"Ok, can you pack now, I' booking you the first flight out, ok honey?"

"Ok, and don't tell anyone I'm coming, I want to surprise them" I sniffled

My dad chuckled sadly and softly "Same ol' Bella"

"Thank you daddy, I love you" I said realizing I haven't called him daddy since the day my mom took me.

"daddy? Wow, I haven't heard that out of my baby girls mouth in 10 years or so" he said shocked. I laughed sadly.

"Ok, so your flight leaves at 5:45 am, so hurry an pack it's what? 2 am there?"


"Ok, Love you see you soon honey"

"love you too, daddy."I heard him chuckle softly as we disconnected. With a sigh I stood up, pulled out my 4 suitcase set and started packing, for my new life, without the constant worry of my mom and Phil, a new life with my brothers, father, new friends and well just a fresh start, a clean slate if you will.