A bit of a fantasy for those of us who have to deal with the effects of spam. If anyone wants to do follow-on stories, feel free. I don't think I'm up to designing missions for this.


Nikita glared at her computer screen a few moments before leaving the Perch and walking down to Comm.

"Jason, why is my email offering to enlarge body parts I don't have?"

Jason ducked his head. I thought we got it all.

"I'm sorry Nikita. One of our Internet monitors, who should have known better, let his computer get infected with a worm, and it relayed spam into our internal email network. We fixed it, but we must have missed some of the spam it let through."

"It relayed what?"

"Surely you've heard about email spam?"

"I don't touch computers outside of Section."

"Spam is a jargon term for junk email."

"You mean to tell me this crap is common?"

"I'm afraid so. And it just gets worse each year. Politics keeps effective laws against it from being passed, and the spammers come up with new techniques to get through every time we figure out a way to block them. No matter what you do, they keep cranking up the volume and terrorizing the whole internet. Last month 95% of email was spam, -"

"What did you say?"

"Last month - "

"No, before that."

"They keep cranking up the volume and terrorizing the whole Internet."

Nikita stood as though pole-axed.

"Jason, I want a complete summary of this....spam....situation on my desk in the morning."

"Yes, ma'am". Jason returned to his computer, unable to keep a slight grin from his face. I think we're about to redefine the term SpamAssassin. And I'm going to be spending a lot less time tweaking the spamblocks on the external email system.