Sorry that it's been so long on my update! I've been working non-stop and haven't had the time to do much. I'm going to attempt to update every Sunday or Monday. Please don't get upset if I can't. But, know that I am doing everything in my power to update ASAP!
I told him I wanted him. I know my heart was in control at that moment. And the look on his face was just so.... broken. And I did want him. All of him, but could I give him myself?
We lay there on the floor panting and sweating. Coming down from our post-coital high.
"Edward?" I whispered. He turned to look at me and smiled softly.
"Yeah?" He whispered back. I sucked in a breath, knowing that this was going to be hard to do.
"I think we should take things really slowly. Like, as in, I want to start out as friends." I told him.
He started to interject, but I stopped him. "Please. I'm not telling you no. I'm just saying not right now. I need time to trust you again. What we just did was phenomenal, but it can't happen again. Not for a long time." I felt wetness falling down the side of my face and realized I was crying.
"Bella, I understand. But I promise you, I will make you love me. I wasn't lying when I said that." He said softly with a smile.
We busied ourselves with re-dressing and it was awkward. I didn't know how to do this. We were both in the same boat with the sex thing. I might have known more about it, but I haven't been around the block or anything. And Edward was still shy, in spite of the mind blowing sex we just had.
I looked up to see Edward pulling his pants back on and nearly drooled. I could have that any time I wanted. Why did I want to wait, again? Oh yeah... because I am an emotional retard.
He caught me and blushed and looked away. It was a good thing we had just finished dressing, because a couple of minutes later, our friends barged in, Alice peeking her head in first to make sure the coast was clear.
"Everything okay in here guys?" She smiled warily. Edward and I nodded.
Emmett came bursting through the door sniffing the air. "Dude. It smells like someone just had sex in here." He wrinkled his nose and then a light bulb went off in his head. A sly smile appeared on his lips. "Oh shit! Eddie just fucked Bella!" He guffawed loudly and the rest of the group snapped their heads in our directions.
"No we didn't." I lied. I don't know why, I'm the worst liar on the planet.
"The hell you didn't. It smells like pure sex in here. You guys fucked." He insisted.
I felt the blush rush to my face. Edward was trying to hide his smile, and being unsuccessful. I wanted to do a facepalm.
Rosalie and Alice dragged me to the nearest bedroom. I knew what they wanted. Details.
"Spill." They both said at the same time. I groaned and threw myself into the pile of pillows on the bed.
"There's nothing to tell." I lied.
"Bullshit!" Rose whisper/yelled. "This place reeks of sex, and I, for one, would like to know all of the gory details." Alice nodded in agreement.
I sighed and resigned to the fact that they were never going to give up.
"We came in to talk. He called me out on my bullshit and we got pissed and he basically fucked me half to death. Not that I'm complaining." I sighed. "I told him I wanted him. Just him. But, I don't know if I can do it." I sighed. The girls both shared a knowing look.
"It's okay to be scared, B." Alice said as she smoothed down my hair. "Paul was an ass. It's not your fault that he couldn't commit and that he wouldn't wait for you to have sex. I know that all that Paul ever did to you was lie, but Edward isn't Paul."
"And you can't punish Edward for Paul's mistakes, Bella. It's not fair to him." Rosalie agreed.
I let a few tears fall and there was a knock at the door. Edward stood there and looked sheepish.
"Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you, Bella." He said softly.
The girls nodded and gave me a reassuring smile before Rosalie mouthed "tell him" over his shoulder. I gave her a nod. I knew it had to be confusing to him why I was so livid when he lied to me.
"Edward, I want to tell you why I acted the way I did." He nodded, smiled, and sat down beside me on the bed. I took a deep breath. "My first few months here, I met a guy named Paul. He was insanely good-looking, popular, and generally a nice guy. We dated for a couple of months before Paul wanted more out of our relationship. I wasn't ready. Not since Jake. It wasn't that Jake had hurt me, but I wanted to be in love with the person I was with, not just give it away freely, you know?" I looked up at Edward and he looked like he might puke or something. I continued on.
"Things between us started getting weird. We went from being together every spare minute of the day to only seeing each other on the weekends. It didn't seem right. When I would ask him why he didn't want to spend any time with me, it would always be some lame excuse. He'd be busy with school work. He was neglecting his friends by being with me too much. Stuff like that. When we were together, it was almost like we were just good buddies instead of a couple." I sighed. "One night, I went out with Alice and Rosalie to the diner, where you and I went, because we were studying for finals and were absolutely starving. I wanted a cheeseburger so badly, but what I ended up leaving with was a broken heart and trust issues. Paul had some blonde bimbo all over him. They were practically eating each other's faces off, it was just that bad. He happened to look up and see me standing there and his face just went white. It would've been comical, the look on his face, but instead I was broken hearted. He pushed the girl out of the booth and ran out the door after me. He tried to explain that she meant nothing to him, but I wanted to hear none of it."
I looked at Edward and noticed that he looked pained.
"Bella, he cheated. I didn't." He said, confused.
"I know. But, he lied all of the time, and you were keeping a pretty big secret. I want to trust you, Edward. I know you did it with the best of intentions, and I get why you did it. I just don't like the fact that you lied to me. It didn't take much coaxing for you to become confident around me. All you had to do was have a little conversation, and you started coming out of your shell."
He nodded and took a deep breath. "I understand. But, I stand by my word. You will love me, Bella. And, I know it sounds really stupid and all kinds of crazy, but I am crazy about you. I want to take you out tonight. You and me. What do you say? We'll start this off slowly, just as you asked. But, I want to show you what a real gentleman is like."
How could I say no to him? I can't. That's how.
"Okay, sure. How should I dress?" I asked. He smiled.
"It's going to be a little warm this evening, but you should just dress comfortably. Nothing dressy."
I smiled. That sounded right up my alley. "Okay."
I picked Bella up at her apartment and what I saw was so beautiful. Bella stood there in a pair of tight jeans and a Radiohead shirt. Her hair was wavy and her makeup was light. She was perfect.
Tonight was all planned out to perfection. I was going to show her that I'm not like that asshole, Paul, that she once dated. For her to even put me near the same category as him was a real insult. I didn't like it, but what could I do?
We pulled up to our destination, and I got into the trunk and pulled out the blankets and the basket and we were on our way. To say I was nervous would be an understatement. You'd think I wouldn't be, since I'd already had sex with her. I guess my plan was backwards, but as long as I ended up with Bella, I'd be okay.
We got to our destination and I heard her gasp.
"Edward?" She turned to look at me and the smile on her face was so contagious that I couldn't help but grin back. She looked like a little kid at Christmas. "Is this what I think it is?"
I nodded and grinned goofily. "Yeah. I thought maybe you'd like to watch a movie outside while we had dinner?"
The local park was playing "Casablanca" and "Some Like it Hot" and I thought it would be perfect for my Bella.
"This is the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me." She whispered. It boggled my mind. Who the hell has she been dating? This was nothing. At least nothing compared to what could have happened if I knew she wouldn't be mad at me spending money on her.
I can't believe he brought me here! All of my other boyfriends before would try to either spend extreme amounts of money or do something completely thoughtless, but he chose the simple route. Just like me. I like things to be simple. He nailed it.
We spread our blanket out and got into a comfortable position. He got the items out of the basket and I had to laugh at what he brought.
He cleared his throat and blushed. "I'm not really good at the date thing, seeing as I've never really been on one, but since this is a movie, I thought you'd want something simple." He straightened his pose and went into an announcer voice. "First, we have a lovely main course of cheeseburgers from Burger King, complete with a side of fries from Arby's. Next, we have a lovely dessert of Twizzlers, M&M's, all different varieties, Skittles, and Raisinettes." I giggled at his seriousness and saw his lip twitch in attempt to not smile. "Finally, we have a snack that includes theater style popcorn and a variety of soft drinks at the lady's disposal."
I felt my heart warm up. "This is seriously the sweetest thing ever, Edward. Thank you so much." My voice cracked at the end. He lifted my chin up and smile softly at me.
"Hey, none of that. Okay? Just enjoy this." I smiled and nodded.
The movies started and I was so entranced in the first one. Casablanca was always one of my favorite films, and I can't believe he found an outdoor theater that played it.
When it got to the part where Ilsa says, "Play it again, Sam." and he goes into "As Time Goes By" Edward was humming it in my ear.
"I'd play you anything that your heart desires, Bella." He whispered. He got into a position behind me and repeated the words in the movie from the song.
You must remember this / A kiss is still a kiss / A sigh is just a sigh / The fundamental things apply / As time goes by. / And when two lovers woo, / They still say, "I love you" / On that you can rely / No matter what the future brings-...
Okay, so please don't hate me, because I haven't posted in forever... I am seriously now working 50 hours a week, and with a 5 year old, I just don't have the time like I used to. BUT, the story must go on! So, here's a chapter to hold you over. It's a sweet one. I like these ones. Tell me what you think!