LIKE I NEVER EXISTED

He doesn't love me?

He left?

When?

How long have I been crying?

It will be like I never existed…

I sat curled into a ball sobbing not caring that I had heard a twig snap behind me and now foot steps were creeping up towards me. I knew it wasn't Ed…him because he said he didn't love me. Right now I didn't really care I was already dead why bother.

"Bella, Bella, Bella." Victoria's voice sounded next to me and I unwillingly got to my feet so that I didn't look all too pathetic. She walked in circles around me and breathed deeply. "My you smell good and I am so very hungry.

"You think you scare me." I scoffed and watched her face become angry.

"You should." She hissed throwing me into a tree. I bounced off like it was nothing, I didn't feel anything anymore. No pain or sadness. Nothing I was numb.

"Well then you should do a little better." I said as I stood up and brushed off the dirt.

She pushed me into a tree again and again I felt nothing. "I hope you like death Bella because this will be painful."

I scoffed and said "Too late buddy."

She looked confused. "What do you mean by that?"

"I'm already dead you should have came a little earlier you would have been able to watch so go ahead I'd welcome it really and as for the pain well lets just say if you can get me to fell anything then I will personally thank you." I said and leaned against a tree. What was a life without them? Nothing, pointless, a waste, uneventful, painful, heart breaking. It doesn't matter take your pick really they all suck so why not die it can't be worse than it is right now.

"Aw did Edward finally figure out your worthless." She said and stepped forward to me.

"Guess so you should have been there you would have loved it." I shrugged and this just angered her more. I couldn't bring myself to care anymore maybe I had cried all the tears I could cry and there was just nothing left of me but a shell.

"You don't even care." She said and stepped forward a little shocked.

"Victoria have you ever had your heart ripped out of your body…oh you have well then you know that there is nothing and I mean absolutely nothing you could ever possibly do to me that hurts worse than the four words I heard already today." I said still leaning against the tree un phased as she stepped forward.

"Nothing huh what about living forever with that pain." She sneered at me then bit my wrist viciously.

I guess this is on the list that I shouldn't be doing right now but hey what the hell does it matter to Edward whether I live or die or both in my case. I thought as Victoria stepped away grinning at me like a cat. I felt nothing I scoffed "You know you look like a cat when you smile like that."

She frowned and said "You don't feel the pain."

"Victoria I wasn't lying when I said I couldn't feel anything." I said still leaning un phased by the fact that I should be burning by her venom by now. "Hum…maybe this isn't normal does it normally hurt by now." I said sarcastically "Maybe you didn't do it right care to try again."

She hissed at me and said "I did it right burn in this hell with the pain of knowing the love of your life or should I say existence never loved you." and with that she took off running. Well I don't think this applies to the promise I made because technically I am safe and I'm not in pain.

I felt the pain of her words cut open the hole of where my heart had been but I still felt no other pain. Okay so they said that it takes three days of excruciating pain. Well I think I will just lean here and wait for the pain to start or at least wait for my heart to stop to know that it's over. Then wait will I do? I would live forever now…damn it really doesn't sound too appealing now that he doesn't love me and they are never coming back.

Okay so I can feel pain because every time I think of them I get unbearable pain all over my body not just where my heart use to be but everywhere. Okay so maybe you can go join the vampire wars that Jasper was talking about. It should be fun maybe. Can't be worse and it's something to do right.

And I know that I do not want to go to school again for the rest of my life or for the rest of my existence. I felt my heart beat speed up to an un normal rate and I figured that it was ending pretty soon. Has it really been three days so far? I don't even know what day it is. I felt my heart rate drop and everything around me became clearer. My senses were heightened and my legs felt strong, actually I felt strong and restless. I had been leaning on this tree for three days and didn't feel tired just restless I wanted to run, to do something, fight get my anger out and pain everything.

I guess I know what I am doing then. To Texas it is.