Title: A Singularly Unpleasant Experience
Character: Castiel AU
Theme: 01: Elemental, for spn_30snapshots. You can view the table of prompts at maychorian dot livejournal dot com slash 145964 dot html
Prompt: 06. tears
Word Count: 626
Disclaimer: None of these boys are mine, more's the pity.
Summary: The first time Jimmy cried while Castiel was trapped in his body, Castiel feared that something was seriously wrong with them.
Warnings/Author Notes: Part of the Rain Falling Down AU. Happy birthday to aesc and aryblack!
A Singularly Unpleasant Experience
The first time Jimmy cried while Castiel was trapped in his body, Castiel feared that something was seriously wrong with them. He had seen Dean and Sam cry before, even other humans, but he never understood it. He had found the action curious, and curiously unhelpful. He did not understand why anyone would do that, what they hoped to gain from it.
Experiencing it from the inside was entirely different. He felt a strange ache in his chest and lungs. His head felt too full, and the flesh around his eyes began to hurt. Even his head pained him, and his fingers and toes tingled. It was like something was inside little Jimmy's body, pushing to get out, expanding and expanding until it must burst from under his skin.
At the same time, the emotional upheaval was excruciating. It had been a long, exhausting day already, and then Robert Singer asked what he was supposed to do with Jimmy, if he had any folks. Jimmy flashed back to the night he lost his parents, fire and blood and demon-smoke, and that made Castiel remember what had brought him to attempt this step in time, and it was all just too much. The fear and grief and pain was unimaginable, overwhelming, and both Jimmy and Castiel only built on each other until the sole response they had was tears, tears in a downpour, a deluge, a flood. "I'm all alone, Mr. Singer," they said, both of them. "I can never go home. I can never go home, not ever."
They wept until they were far beyond exhaustion, wrapped up in Bobby Singer's arms until the flow finally began to slow, then stopped. Castiel found it to be a singularly nasty experience, painful and tiring like nothing he'd ever done before. And the lack of control over it was particularly disturbing. Several times he had tried to mitigate the physiological and emotional reactions, and had been entirely unsuccessful. Jimmy, though, had simply ridden it out, used to being a child and going through the tantrums his body and spirit chose to throw.
Castiel apologized to Singer for the profusion of bodily fluids he'd left on his shoulder, but the man just hushed him. He had held Jimmy and Castiel through it all, stroking the dark, messy hair still tacky with residual blood, soothing them with words and actions and immense, unfathomable kindness. And Castiel felt a rush of warmth and well-being like nothing he'd ever known.
It was Jimmy's, but also his. Then, Castiel remembered what Dean had called this man when he was a child.
Jimmy grabbed onto that notion as soon as it entered their mind. And Bobby Singer accepted it. Despite how much he ached, inside and out, despite how sore his eyes and throat and chest were, Castiel could feel Jimmy's giddy sense of relief and release, too. He began to understand why humans cried.
Castiel would always consider it to be a singularly unpleasant experience, but it hadn't been completely terrible.