A/N: Possibly the closest thing to crack/parody/humor (that actually makes sense!) that I will ever write. Really. Also seeing 'official' pictures of Kanda smiling doesn't do good things to my brain...(don't know what I'm talking about? Go to the d. gray man community on LJ. Pictures of the D. Gray Man calendar have been posted…and Kanda is smiling. On my birthday month *wants the calendar SO badly now*).

Warning: mild language, running with sharp objects, and Allen teasing. Other than that it's relatively harmless

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Kanda smiles for the first time, and Lavi's pretty sure he's choking. Or almost there, anyway. Allen's already too far gone, next to him, eyes bulging, food caught in his throat, and it's almost funny except for it isn't. Kanda smiling was never a good thing. Maybe he finally snapped? Lavi couldn't be sure.

But he was smiling, dammit, and that never happened.

"Oi, Y-Yuu-chan," the stutter is appropriate, or so he thinks, as he backs up slightly from the man, to glance up at him, "Wh-what's up? You kill anything today?"

The smile twitches, and almost fades, but doesn't entirely because it's still there under the Bookman's watchful eye, "Tch, no."

"Th-then?"

"You got laid?" Both boy's turn to Allen, and the white haired teen shrugs, "What? I had to ask."

And the blush that crosses the older man's cheeks is almost hilarious if the blade wasn't pointed so close to his face, "Like you would know." The man hissed.

Now Allen feels threatened, and Lavi even moreso, "What? Who's the lucky chick?" But he doesn't back down. Never had before, never saw a reason to, "Or are you even into that?" Silver eyes flash to Lavi and--Oh nonono he wasn't going to drag him into this--and Lavi catapults off his seat to standing, and grabs his half eaten lunch.

The sharp end of the blade comes crashing down, and Lavi vaguely wonders how Kanda even smuggled that thing into school (under the pretense of It's for club not that he'd really leave it in there and--)

Lavi just hopes he doesn't get an obscene message later.

But he knows he will, as he dashes out of the mess hall, with Allen close on his heels, and Kanda after the both of them--

"It was just a joke dammit!"

And maybe Lavi understood a little, now, why the man never smiled. It wasn't a big understanding, or little, and it never accompanied the shout of: "Stop following me dammit!" and the practical inhilation of food--

Or the Matron shouting at them to stop running with food in their mouth as they ran by the nurses office, and the fact they nearly ran into Miss Lotto talking shyly to Mr. Marie about something (he felt bad about that, a little bit)

But once they slipped out the front door he knew it was all going to hell.

That was it. That was it.

When Kanda smiles, the world goes to hell.

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And because I say it on the summary…I might use this new story for drabble entries. If I ever write any other ones that I like.

Oh yes, reviews would be appreciated for this. *would like to know what people think*