My name is Tohru Adachi and I'm not a bad person.

I've done bad things though, very bad.

I can't say I didn't mean to. Though I'm not sure it was me at the time. It was the voice. But the voice is a part of me too. Everyone has one. That nasty little voice inside you that sneers when you get something out of another's misfortunes. The one that reveled when I was given power via my role as an officer. The one that totally disregards all life but my own.

That's not all there was to me then. I DID like helping people. I wanted to be worth their respect.

Then the gunshot, my demotion, the shame. When I stopped believing there was anything good left in my life. When my grief turned to rage at those around me, then humanity at large. And the voice got louder, more insistent. I didn't realize how wrong this situation was until the voice was in total control. After that it gets hazy. I can't remember everything, but I remember enough.

When the fog lifted from my mind from the first time in over a year I was on the ground. At first I wondered who the gray haired kid was and why he and his friends were looking at me with such hate.

Then I remembered what I told them. No, what my Shadow told them. The half truths and angry ravings that make me out to be... I can't even think of something low enough. I want to protest, to say the forbidden phrase 'That's not me' when I remember something else.

I'm a murderer.

The announcer that I'd always had a crush on, that poor Konishi girl. I...I..Oh god.

When they get me to the station the only words I say are 'Book me'.

My name is Tohru Adachi.

At least I think that's who I am.

Sometimes I worry that I'm not really Tohru Adachi any more then my Shadow is. That, just as Shadow is all Tohru's bad thoughts, I'm just the good ones. That the real Tohoru Adachi, whoever that is, isn't as good a person as I think he is. That I'm not human, just a nicer variety of shadow.

I can't think about it too often, because if I do I feel myself start to crack. And I can't afford to lose my grip. Shadow wasn't destroyed in battle; he was just weakened enough for me to regain control.

And he's starting to whisper in the back of my mind again.

My name is Tohru Adachi.

Because as long as I can claim that name, Shadow can't. Because this time I know better than to listen to him. This time I can hold him off longer. At least till I'm sentenced, I hope. I don't care if I get a life sentence or even the death penalty. I can't bear the thought of being responsible for another death.

Because Shadow is me and I am Shadow. We're both parts of a person who probably doesn't really exist anymore. A person whose name I have to take, because no one is taking my requests about keeping me away from TV's seriously. Except for poor Dojima-san who really doesn't know what to think.

I've hurt him, hurt his family. Never again.

My name is Tohru Adachi.

My name is Tohru Adachi.