Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT or Karai, or anything else that someone might happen to own that I didn't think was own able and therefore did not expressly disclaim. Like, fictional rooftops and fight sensitive rain, for example.

This is a straight up PARODY of the now infamous Kanye v. Taylor Swift interaction during the 2009 VMAs.

It was gearing up to be a battle of epic proportions. Even the weather had come dressed for the party. Rainey and cold, there was no room for distractions, mistakes, or mercy. It would end that night, as if Fate had decided, after centuries of waiting, that the reign of the Shredder would finally end, lest those few four against him be forever lost to this most honorable cause, the Shredder's defeat.

But darkest Fate had failed to consider an all too crucial element of such an epic battle: fear. Fear causes people to act irrationally, to forgo normal thought processes and allow instinct to take over in desperate attempts to escape the choking sensation of the unknown, or uncertain. Typical signs of fear may be, but aren't limited too, dilated pupils, cowering, screaming (like a little girl), begging, and pleading.

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is far from typical, and it would seem that dear Fate had forgotten this important detail.

It just wasn't his day. It had started out being his day what with morning practice being sweet (five total opportunities to boast of his Battle Nexus Championship: gloriously, truly, beautifully, simply, awesome. And the look on Raph's face! Bwahahahah! No but seriously, it was magical.) And then the evening, which had previously held so much promise (in the form of butt glued to couch and face stuffed with munchies) had turned to snot. Leo decided that, what with the weather being so blah and all, everyone would enjoy a rousing training run in the pouring rain.

"It'll be fun"

"Dude, I hear ya, but I'm totes watching this show right now."

"It'll be so fun."

"You know what else is fun? This show. That I'm watching. Right. Now."

"Don't make me say 'so fun' again, Mikey."

"Teen Girl Squad is hilarious and you know it bro, but that's like, completely inconsequential, because I'm watching this show right now. This dude just like, straight up flipped out on that chick right there, and everyone is freaking out. I wanna watch what happens."


"Like, and I'm being legit serious, what just happened could change everything."

*eyebrow and impatient glare.


It is, perhaps, needless to say that Leonardo was not amused, and Mikey wasn't allowed to watch the rest of his program. It was fortunate though, that Mikey had watched what he had, because it ended up being one of those nights.

Shell against a wall, lined bicep to bicep with his brothers, Mikey was afraid. Karai stood before him and his brothers, dressed as the Shredder, flanked by her army of loyal ninja.

Her laughter could be heard above the sound of rain hitting pavement, over the harsh breathing of his brothers' and the pained moans of those already fallen. It had started as a faint chuckle, as if she too were astonished by the situation, and had steadily gained momentum as she had begun to realize that she, Karai, the Shredder reborn, had gained the upper hand that her father had never gained, was about finish what her father could not.

Karai had just entered the evil laugh stage, the deep, primal laugh in which inhibition be damned and MUAHAHAHAHAH is the appropriate syllable, before she was rudely interrupted by an orange wearing turtle who had stepped away from his brothers and was approaching her, looking more serious that Karai had ever seen him look in his life.

He stood by her, out of her reach but only just, and addressed the sopping audience of the rooftop.

"Hey Karai," the turtle said, "I'm really happy for you, Im'ma let you finish, but your predecessor had one of the best evil laughs of all time."

Karai was speechless.

"Of all time!" Michaelangelo proclaimed, returning to his spot along the wall with his brothers.

Karai couldn't speak for a few moments after that. It was a crushing blow, really, to have your evil laugh mocked not only in front of your army, and your enemies as well? That was just cruel. She concluded that the turtles' defeat would be far more satisfying if she could laugh evilly about it without feeling self-conscious, so she left, the army of Foot ninja vanished, the sky cleared, and the turtles, previously forsaken by mother Fate, were left stunned and alone on a wet rooftop.

And then all shell broke loose.

This is what happens when a college freshmen has a cold, time to spare, and her friends are out partying, thus leaving her to wallow in tissues and YouTube.

I thought that the whole "Kanye disses Taylor Swift" thing would make a funny parody, made all the more better by the fact that I can totally see Mikey pulling something like that, if only to save himself from almost certain death.

I haven't written in a while. Boost my confidence?