Title: It Was The Best Butter
Pairings: Randy Orton/Ted DiBiase (Randiasi)
Summary: Sixteen years later.
Disclaimer: The WWE is not mine nor are any of it's child branches, it is the 96% property of the McMahon's and God bless the bastards that work for them. I respect the sexual preferences and identities of all the wrestlers on WWE roster, and who they share a bed with is really none of my business.
Warnings: Fluff, children, amazing slash, parenthood, no mpreg though
"I don't know how my mother ever did it" Ted murmured, nursing the burn on his hand "God rest her soul."
Ted loved making dinner, and everything he made turned out pretty good. But he had a very clumsy way of cooking, his family always steered clear of the kitchen at five. They know his organized chaos was something not to be witnessed. God knows they'd try to help, and that usually only made things worse.
He could hear Coddles scratching at the door, but ignored him.
"Good smells!" came the high-pitched, he turned around just in time to see his little boy run across the carpet of the living room and fall flat on his face.
Ted sighed, "You ok, little man?"
"Yeah, yeah" the five and a half year old got up, rubbing at the rug burn on his face. He turned that million dollar smile on his dad, two missing bottom teeth only making him cuter.
"Yep, good smells" Ted assured the kid, wiping at his hands "You good with spaghetti?"
"Close enough" Ted pointed toward the door "Let Coddles in, Bry, before he knocks down the door."
Ted watched his only son run at the door, dirty bare feet padding on the kitchen tile. He remembered the night he was born almost six years ago, their surrogate mother only too happy to hand over the bouncing baby boy. They had used Ted's own seed, so Bryce had a growing mop of hay colored hair and big blues like his daddy. Right now the little brat was wearing a dark t-shirt that read "Bourne To Fly" in red, tattered at the edges from his teething.
Bryce opened the door easily, squealing in delight when the three year old German Sheppard came in. Poor Coddles want right to his water bowel, lapping it up from the humid Mississippi air outside. Bryce, the smart little thing, stood close by…just waiting for the dog finished drinking before he pet him.
"Is that corn bread I smell? And spaghetti?"
Ted glanced at the doorway, the very top of Alanna's head visible.
"You can quit hidin' " Ted drawled, a smile on his lips "I'm done cookin'. Just lettin' it bake now."
Alanna gave a dramatic sigh of relief, stepping full into the doorway. My, she had grown up just as pretty as he knew she'd be sixteen years ago when he first rocked her in his lap. Her hair had gone a shiny copper and it was pulled up in a high ponytail, still in her PJ's on a Saturday evening. Soft Sprite logo printed pants on and that stupid tank-top that read Priceless in sparkles. She only wore it because it reminded him of his old Priceless trunks from a long time ago, and it annoyed him.
"Why don't we ever have garlic bread, like normal families?" Alanna inquired, a teasing smile on her lips.
"Because I was raised on cornbread. It's been good enough for generations of DiBiase's."
"Ah, but what about an Orton-DiBiase? Is it good enough for our little hybrid family?" Alanna was glad to get a laugh out of her father, but her eyes still danced around the kitchen "Where's Daddy?"
"I'm sure he'll show up."
Alanna pushed up her glasses, nodding understandingly.
Randy was due home anytime, naturally. They had both quit wrestling when Bryce was born, but Orton couldn't give up his long-standing family tradition as easily as Ted could. He was now a WWE ambassador, taking over when Austin gave it up for a quiet life in Texas. Randy gave classes to the youngsters in academies and FCW, he was general manager of RAW there for almost three years, he even participated in a few matches a year (only for an obscene amount of money, though.) While Cody took over as main commentator for FCW in his late father's place (his lisp had improved, you couldn't even tell anymore), Ted didn't even try to work anymore.
They had all the money they could ever need, why waste time he could otherwise spend watching basketball or spending time with his kids?
Sometimes the whole family went on Randy's trips, but with both kids in school now they could only afford to do that in the summer.
Ted leant against the counter, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully, "Did you get your ACT stuff done?"
"All signed up, it's on the 26th."
"I'm sure you'll do much better this time, sweetheart" he promised, seeing the flicker of doubt in her eyes as they both recalled how low it was last time "I'm sure it was just nerves, that's all. Oh, and that one girl called for you. Myah? Maria?"
"Mariah" Alanna rolled her eyes "It's not like she wants to talk to me, anyways."
"Why not? I thought ya'll were friends?"
Alanna gave a snort of disgust, "The only reason she calls is because she wants to fuck you."
" 'Lanna" he warned fiercely, giving a pointed look at Bryce. The boy wasn't paying attention, too engrossed in giggling and getting his face licked by Coddles.
Alanna's cheeks flushed in embarrassment, glancing at her little brother, "Uh, sorry. But she still wants you."
"I'm forty-two" he grumbled "She's, what? Fifteen?"
"She's a senior, and she's eighteen."
Ted scrubbed a hand over his face, "…ok. Either never repeat that again with your father around, or don't let her back here. Ya hear me?"
"Like I want Dad to get al huffy and territorial either" Alanna mimed punching the wall, then did this fluid snake movement "I don't want that home wrecker in my house anymore! Then he'll unhinge his jaw and devour her…or something."
Ted stifled an obscenely loud laugh behind his palm at the image of it all.
Bryce bared his teeth and clawed his hands, "Viper!"
"Exactly" the teenager drawled "No way."
"Go wash up" Ted waved her off "If I have to ring a dinner bell, it's already half gone."
Alanna dashed off, taking the steps two at a time with a growling tummy.
"Ok, you too Bryce" Ted gestured his little boy closer, and he soon had his arms full of growling kid "You growlin' at me, Bry?"
"Viper! Grrrr, Daddy!" Bryce insisted, snapping his teeth "Grrr!"
"Yeah, yeah, I've seen the whole act before, buddy" Ted sat the boy on the counter, snatching a wet wipe out of the holder against the wall "Hold still for daddy for a couple seconds."
Bryce sat there like a good boy, swinging his soiled feet back and forth while his father cleaned his face.
"You ready to eat?" Ted asked conversationally, making sure to get his son's sticky fingers "Hey now! Have you been getting' into somethin' you shouldn'ta been?"
"Nah, Daddy, nah" Bryce shook his head back and forth "Outside. Allllll day. No trouble-a."
"Is that Pig Latin?" the blonde chuckled fondly "Well look at you. That's one more language than I know."
The sound of the front door opening reached the kitchen, Bryce's eyes lit up expectantly.
Ted helped him down, "Go, run."
Bryce took off at top speed, screaming his little lungs out all the way through the house.
"Hey there, kid" came the deep rumble "Don't you look more like your pretty daddy every day, huh? Look at those eyes…yer killin' me with those eyes, Brycent!"
Ted chuckled again, putting the stopper into the sink before turning on the hot water. With a squirt of soap, bubbles started blooming in the growing pool. He dumped all the used dishes in the steaming depths, crinkling up his nose as some splashed onto his chest. It joined the growing collection of stains on the shirt, from beach splotches and finger-paint stains, all the way to the ivory claw streaks along his back from Randy's idea of a joke on him when he was trying to touch up the paint on their bedrooms door.
Crayon, what can you do but accept failure and paint over it?
Ted turned, lips curling in a smile at the sight of his husband (check the matching silver rings.) Randy was holding Bryce on his hip like he was nothing, still so strong after all these years. The little boy was clinging to his father, cooing happily into his leather jacket.
"Look whose back" the blonde teased, getting an easy smile in return "Good trip?"
"It went well enough" Randy sacked a kiss into his son's hair, then set the boy down on the floor "Not like when Vince was in charge, but Shane is doing well enough. Stephanie's expecting a grandchild soon, so she's been at home with her daughter."
"That girl's a little young to be pregnant" Ted raised a brow as Bryce clung to The Viper's leg instead "But it's not like she'll be homeless."
Randy nodded absently, looking toward the oven, "I'm starving."
That evil smirk he knew so well came on his lover's face, "I expected it to be plated by now. You're running late."
Ted huffed, "Do I look barefoot and pregnant? Do I look like your little woman? I'll cook it, but you'll get your own plates."
Ted turned back toward the sink, burying his hands wrist-deep in soapy water. He took the rag and started scrubbing a bowl, knowing he wouldn't get this done before the food was but wanting to try.
"Go watch TV 'till dinner, Bry."
The blonde pouted, but shuffled off to the couch anyways.
Once Randy was sure his son was occupied, he slithered up behind his husband. Ted squirmed when those thick tattooed arms curled around his waist, a chin digging into the curve of his shoulder.
"Unless you're gonna help-"
"You're still so beautiful" came the breathy sigh.
Ted looked up, realizing Randy was gazing into the reflections in the window above the sink. He blushed a little, but the admiration in those blue eyes was genuine. Randy still kept in top physical form while Ted's muscles had gotten slimmer from chasing Bryce all over God's creations. There were a few more laugh lines around their eyes, a couple new scars, and Randy had quit shaving his head to give his "boy" something to hold onto.
Neither had turned out like their fathers look-wise (as they had feared) but sometimes Ted would laugh and it'd be that infamous DiBiase sound.
They had two kids with their names (Orton-DiBiase), and a whole load of 'priceless' memories.
"I missed you" Randy confessed, letting the younger man take most of his weight "I missed this."
"I know" Ted spun around, curling his dripping fingers in his lover's shirt and bringing him into a kiss "And this…missed you too."
Alanna was the first to speak at dinner.
"I got a PM from Uncle Brett…Uncle Cody had to go to the hospital for stitches."
Ted tensed, a piece of cornbread halfway to his mouth, "What? Why?"
The teenager speared a chuck of meatball, spinning her fork to get the noodles as well, "He tried to do a moonsault into the pool and missed."
"Again? That's the third time" Randy laughed, around his own mouthful of food.
"Uncle Codies fly!" Bryce waved his fork through the air, smacking his reddened lips "Zoooooooom! Fly."
"That boy" Ted grumbled, taking a swig of his beer (wine never tasted right in his mouth, no matter how rich he was) "I told those two to move closer. Cody and Brett always try to get themselves killed when I'm not around."
"They're in their thirties now, they can take care of themselves without big brother around" Randy half-lied.
Bryce, the little rabbit, had already chewed through his plate, "Nigh' of 'campions? Uncles Codies go evil?"
"Champions, Brycie" Alanna pointed out sweetly, proud to see the way her little brother mimicked the word with his lips.
"That old thing?" Ted groaned "You sure, Bryce?"
Bryce nodded enthusiastically, at such a young age and still he knew whatever he saw on wrestling wasn't completely real. So he adored to know his daddies were "super villains", and loved to watch old DVD's of them. But he preferred the ones from '08 and '09, when they were just starting out.
"Go on then" Ted waved his hand, sighing as the little bundle raced into the living room "I swear…"
The rest of the dinner passed in silence, and at the end, Ted was praised for his work yet again. With a grin of triumph, he took all the dishes and dumped them in the sink.
Alanna went to leave the kitchen, but paused at the doorway, "Dad?"
"Yeah honey?" Randy grabbed a fresh beer and sat down on the table, looking relaxed and content for the first time since he left two days ago.
Alanna played with the rubber band around his right wrist, a little gesture of nerves, "I was just wondering…uh, I was reading some stuff online. About, you know, you guys and us."
Ted's movements slowed to a crawl, back to them but completely listening.
"You shouldn't read that trash" Randy drawled, not for the first time "I sense a question in this."
She nodded, eyes that mirrored the Orton gene darting around behind her glasses, "Am I the reason you don't talk to Samantha anymore?"
"Your mother?" blue eyes widened "God no, honey."
"Then why?" Alanna insisted stubbornly "I know you guys have full custody, but why?"
Randy wasn't sure how to answer, but his lover was.
"It's my fault, 'Lanna" Ted faced her, smiling sadly "That first night I took care of you by myself, I knew I loved ya too much 'ta give you up. So when that mother of yours tried to take you all for herself and run down to Florida, your dad and I…we fought full force."
"Did Grandpa Ted help?"
"More than you realize."
"So…" Alanna didn't seem upset by this, just curious "You used your status to keep me?"
Randy nodded, "I wish I could tell you that your mother fought for you too, but…"
Alanna shook her head, walking right up to her blonde father. She gave him quick peck on the cheek.
"Thanks, Dad…for fightin' for me and all."
Alanna quickly left the kitchen, embarrassed for getting all mushy with her macho wrestling dads.
Ted looked like he was going to cry, but managed to keep himself together with a shaky sigh.
"And you didn't want to be left alone with her" Randy needled, taking a swig off his beer.
"I thought I was gonna hurt her" Ted replied honestly, rubbing at his arm absently.
"I believe we did a damn fine job raising kids, they're not nearly as messed up as Cena said they'd be" Randy flicked his thumb along the length of the sweating bottle "We deserve a medal or a plaque…a car, man, something."
"We're not done yet" Ted pointed out "Do the rest of these, will ya? I gotta get Bryce ready for bed."
Randy bit the side of his lip, "Can I do it tonight?"
The blonde's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, pleasantly surprised, "Really?"
"Yeah, I miss my boy" Randy stood, giving the man a quick peck on the cheek before flicking his fingers at him "You do your woman's work, I'll put the little man to bed."
Ted obliged, a smile on his face.
An hour later and Bryce was sleepily brushing his teeth, big blue eyes already drooping.
Randy tisked from the doorway, "You ready, kid?"
Bryce yawned and choked on the gulp of water he'd taken, sputtering a bit but eventually giving his dad a big DiBiase smile.
"Let's get you tucked away" Randy picked the little blonde, getting a happy squeal as he threw him over his shoulder "You sure your daddy's feeding you while I'm gone? You don't way a pound!"
Bryce batted at his massive shoulder blade playfully, sleepy but happy.
Randy eased the door open with his hip, carefully taking his kid across the toy-spattered floor of his room. He plopped the little Orton-DiBiase down onto his bed, letting him squirm around and get comfortable. Randy turned on the gold WWE belt nightlight in the corner, locked the closet and put the chair against it (as per his son's whiny request), before finally flicking off the overhead light.
"Look at you, sleepy thing" Randy sat down on the small bed, smiling as the boy curled up on his side before pulling the blanket up over his tiny form "Did you have a good time while I was gone?"
"Daddy took me to the park Saturday, I played with 'Dora on the monkey bars a-and…" Bryce yawned real big, gap-toothed smile returning "And 'Lina taught sissy how to skip rope backwards and me 'howda swing on the monkey bars."
"Dora and Lina?" Randy had to think, then made an 'o' of understanding "Well, then you had lots of fun, didn't you now?"
Nymphadora was Matt and Chris's adopted little girl, a stark ginger and hair always put into long pigtails. Angelina was Jay's (Christian's) teenage daughter from his marriage to his German wife, who was adopted at the age of four by none other than Christian's long-time on-and-off lover Adam Copeland. Together they had raised a rather cocky, overconfident young lady with good morals. Alanna and Angelina associated when they were alone, but tended to drift off to different social circles.
"Can I have a little brother?" Bryce asked, eyes wide open now "Dora said she's getting' a little sister from Russia, can Daddy have another kid?"
The thought of Ted pregnant made Randy laugh.
Randy ruffled the boy's hair, "Doesn't your father have enough trouble with you?"
Bryce pouted, "Sissy's goin' 'way soon, and yer gone a lot. It's just me 'n' Daddy…can't I have someone little to play with here?"
"You know, your sentences improve when you want something" Randy narrowed his eyes at his son suspiciously, getting his devious grin mirrored back at him "Ok, ok. Your dads will talk, and we'll see about our options. Okay?"
//And I'm going to be home more from now on.//
Bryce nodded, snuggling down into his pillow, "Read to me?"
"One quick chapter, then sleep time" Randy grabbed the book off the nightstand, settling against the footboard as he searched for their left-off spot "Where did Dad leave off?"
"Tea party" Bryce sighed.
"Close your eyes, Bry" Randy commanded soothingly, finding the spot and picking a paragraph "Sleep."
Bryce did as he was told, breathing easy now.
Randy took a sigh himself, reading out the passage after the words it was the best butter on pure guesswork.
" 'Yes, but some crumbs must have gotten into it as well' the Hatter grumbled 'You shouldn't have put it in with a bread knife.' "
Is this what you guys wanted? Because, let me tell you, I just got bored and thought it was kinda fun to put the second requested chapter. Love it? Leave it? Expected something different?