Title: I'm a Shade Too Pale For Handsome and Have Habits I Can't Shake
Author: Emono
Rating: FRM
Fandom: Wrestling
Series: I'd Rather Fight With You Than Make Love With Anyone Else verse
Pairings: John Cena/Jack Swagger, Randy/Cody (Candy), Miz/Morrison, Chris/Evan, Hardycest
Disclaimer: The WWE is not mine nor are any of it's child branches, it is the 96% property of the McMahon's and God bless the bastards that work for them. I respect the sexual preferences and identities of all the wrestlers on WWE roster, and who they share a bed with is really none of my business.
Beta: gil_follower
Warnings: Wrestling violence, slash, episode re-writes, love, fluff, smut, good stuff

This is a continuation of "He Thrusts His Fists" If you have stumbled upon and clicked this first, you are wrong…and need to go to my profile page and find the first story. Why? Because right now Jack Swagger and Cody Rhodes are Unified Tag-Team Champions, Priceless is falling apart before my eyes…I won't continue, because I know I'm already blowing your mind.

Now, for those of you who did read it first, you'll see a few new changes literature-wise and character wise. I'll be playing more with all those couples I promised you. I want you to know (my beloveds) I'm only continuing this because RAW personally came out of the TV and challenged me to continue. I saw the episode after NOC and I flipped, because someone told Shaq about my story and he decided to pit all my boys against each other. I'm surprised he didn't put Jack against Cena, honestly. So watch me now, beloved ones, as I personally sew back together a few relationships, strengthen some weak ones, and strain some old ones. Oh, and watch me perfect my Randy character, because I read a bunch of fanfics with him and I needed improvement. It's friend against friend, and I am at the quasi-mercy that is the RAW and Superstars, but not Smackdown…I don't get Smackdown on my cable network, sorry. Less Morrison and less Hardycest than I'd like.

As I also said before, the link to this story's theme song ("Colorado Sunrise" by 3oh!3) is found on my profile page.

The link for the banners for the couples of this story are found on my profile page, I made a whole gallery just for this fic

But enough talk! Let's continue this crazy-ass story!

Behold! Part II!

Jack sat on his hotel bed, clad in only flashy American flag sleeping pants. He was staring down in awe at the belt in his hands, much the same way he had the ECW belt when he had it. But this…this was weird. He ran his fingers over the gold plate, tracing the crimson embedded in it. He tilted his head, looking at the other belt spread out in front of him.

The Unified Tag Team Championship.

And there was his name on it, on both of them.

John peeked out of the bathroom, a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth, "God, are you still looking at those?"

"I'm sorry" Jack flushed suddenly "I only won them a couple of hours ago…I can't sleep."

"We've got RAW tomorrow night, unlike some of those lucky bastards" John pulled out the toothbrush, glancing between the belts "I can't believe you did it."

"Me either" the blonde worried his lower lip "I must look like a total ass to you, don't I?"

"Why?" John gave him a smile, leaning against the doorway "Because you won two belts and I have none?"

"Priceless shouldn't have-"

"No!" John held up a hand, cutting him off sharply "No more excuses. I lost to Orton, I did…I admit it. I couldn't leave it alone and let Hunter pin 'im, I had to help. I should've…been more conscious of the fight, or whatever. I'll get another chance, but…it's not the most important thing."Jack lost his breath, "What? But you got it stolen from you, you were so pissed!"

"Yeah, I was pissed" John admitted "I still have every right to be pissed. But, Jack…you just won the Unified Tag Team Championship because you didn't want to see your friend's blood all over the mat. You didn't expect a thing out of it…I bet you thought DiBiase would get it, didn't you?"

Jack knew this was true, the belts had been a shock, "T-That has nothing to do with your match!"

"Are you happy?"

John's question threw him off, "Well…yeah, I'm happy."

"Then I'm happy" John assured him "Enjoy your belts, ok? And get ready to defend them."

"Oh, I am" Jack couldn't stop himself, he hugged the belt to his chest "I'm not letting these go anytime soon."

John gave a low chuckle, then disappeared back inside the bathroom.

The blonde recalled the fight that had gone down earlier tonight, the look of rage in his lover's eyes that had faded on the car ride back to the hotel.

"Jay?" Jack called softly "About earlier? I-I know I shouldn't have interfered in your match, but…I was on a rush, suddenly Cody and I were tag team partners and I felt like I needed to help him. He's a kid, and DiBiase wasn't there…he begged me."

"It's business" John's head poked his head back out of the bathroom "Right?"

"Well, yeah…I wanted you to win."

"Jackie, you gotta learn how to separate business from personal" John tisked "Eventually you'll learn…sometimes we do what we gotta for our careers and for the business, for the fans…and for the hosts. If you would've come out there and punched me in the face…yes, I would've been pissed. But…we leave business at the door, right?"

Cornflower blue eyes showed that he didn't quite understand, showed doubt, but he merely nodded.


On the first floor, in one of the far rooms, sat Cody.

Cody was sitting there in his boxers and faded wife-beater, his chin on his fist. He was gazing at the two belts laid out on the table, catching the dim light that came in through the curtains. The golden plates were glorious even in the dark room, announcing they were there. He was sitting cross-legged, a little more than confused but very pleased.

He couldn't believe it, he really couldn't believe it.

Randy shifted, realizing something was off, "Codes?"


"God, are you still looking at them?" Randy sat up on his elbow, rubbing a hand over his eyes "Cody, it's almost three in the fucking morning. We've got RAW tomorrow, we gotta be up to get into the city."

"I know" Cody sighed "But…it's surreal. I'm Tag Team Champions with Jack. It's always been me and Teddy and it's so weird-"

"Don't even mention him!" Randy snapped, flipping over onto his stomach and growling into his pillow "After the shit he pulled tonight, he's lucky to have a job let alone be able to rejoin Legacy."

"Don't say stuff like that" Cody all but purred, rolling over and nuzzling the back of his lover's neck. Randy's eyes fluttered shut at the soft touch, undulating beneath the sheets at the feel of his younger lover pressed up behind him.

"He abandoned you out there."

"I know" Cody replied "But he's still my best friend, I still love 'im. I can't hate him…don't kick him out of Legacy, please?"

Randy scowled, "He's the reason your face is bruised and your ribs are tender."

"I didn't break anything" the brunette assured him "I'm fine. Just…don't make any decisions now, ok?"

Randy gave in, small kitten licks trailing across his shoulder tattoo, "Fine. Get some sleep, ok?"


"And stop staring at those belts!"

"Why? You stare at yours!"

"No I…that's not even the point."

Cody laughed softly, "Night, Randy."

"Go to sleep, brat."

The WWE Champion yelped when sharp teeth closed on his shoulder, "Cody!"

Again, the younger man laughed.

I should have said this sooner. I have a whole folder full of wrestling moves, and if you don't know what a move is and I don't explain it…I promise you, all info I get is from Wikipedia.