A/N: Alright, again this took longer than I expected. I wrote the chapter, only to read it over and not like what there was. Instead of doing the smart thing of changing a few things around, I rewrote the whole chapter completely. I'm a tool, I know. I'm thinking of rewriting Forever, Always Changing, but am undecided, let me know if that's something you'd be interested in.
Maybe we can get past 300 reviews :)
I've woken up feeling like shit before, the whole waking up on the wrong side of the bed thing, but you really know that it's going to be a horrible day when you wake up not even on the bed. Instead, I found myself smashed on the floor, muttering off profanities, and rubbing at my soon to be bruised hip. Only I would be capable of clumsiness while asleep. I should just avoid having children in the future, this is something I wouldn't want to pass on to even my worst enemy, although watching Edward Cullen fall on his ass would be a definite highlight in my life.
The morning wakeup call shouldn't have been a surprise, judging by the already craptastic week that I've been having thus far.
I should have known that the week would have gone downhill after the first day, it was too good to be true. Tuesday had wrecked my mood permanently, thanks to that cocky bastard. What a douche.
I thought I would have had a shot with James, I mean he was the first guy in a long time that actually caught my attention. He's reasonably intelligent, funny, too good-looking for words, and nice. Cullen couldn't handle the blow to his overloaded ego, wrecking whatever chance I had going for me. I know he said something to James, it is the only explanation for the all of a sudden avoidance I had been getting the past two days. I would get a wave or a hello every now and then, but that was the extent of it.
All of that would change though, after tonight.
Alice was throwing a party at her house, something about a doctor's convention, so her parents wouldn't be in town all weekend. The details didn't matter, but everyone at school would be going, giving me the perfect opportunity. I picked out the very hot outfit that I would be wearing, and that would surely get his attention. I'm not being cocky, but I was wearing my self-proclaimed "boob" top, guys and boobs go together too well, he won't be able to not notice me.
I was also wearing it to piss Cullen off. Not being able to have what he wants, that would frustrate the fuck out of him. Hopefully.
I had called Jake on the phone last night to tell him about how shitty my week had been going, he knew how to cheer me up. He especially liked the idea of making Edward drool like a fucking dog.
"Your tits will be like a Venus Flytrap."
"Because nothing is sexier than a carnivorous plant that digests insects," I chuckled. "That makes me feel really attractive, thank you."
"You know what I mean…"
"I do, but there are better metaphors out there."
"Alright, your boobs are like cupcakes to a chubby kid, a bad movie script to Eddie Murphy, a professional athlete to a Kardashian sister, catnip to a pussy, blood to a vampire-"
"You wanted different examples." I could see the stupid smirk on his face through the phone. "Anyways, back to the important topic here."
"Which would be?"
"Why I wasn't invited to this party."
"Nobody likes you?"
"Ha ha, for your information, I am the life of the party. I do the worm like no other, and don't even get me started on the electric slide, I got that shit in the bag."
I laughed, "You're one of those people who do the running man, am I right?"
"Like a champ!"
"Why do I talk to you?"
"For my devilish good looks, sculpted body, and witty sense of humor. Plus, without me you wouldn't have any real friends."
"I have real friends, thank you very much," I scoffed.
"Except none of them know who you actually are, only I know the true nerdy bitch that you are underneath that mother fucking hot ass body."
"I'm only kidding, kind of, you are sort of a bitch sometimes."
"You love me."
"That's because Charlie pays me."
"Its reasons like this why I don't bring you to parties, I can't trust you to not be a freak in public." He's lucky I wasn't near him, he would have gotten a swat to the back of the head for being such a nuisance.
"You just don't want me to upstage you."
"You wouldn't, especially in my boob shirt."
"I need to see this infamous article of clothing, how about you give a brother a private showing sometime?"
"How about I shove it down your throat?"
"Kinky, I like," he laughed. "In all seriousness though B, if something happens tomorrow night and you need me to come and get you, don't be afraid to call. I don't care what time it is, I'm there for you."
"Yeah, I know, but I think it will go fine."
"Just don't get drunk and do something stupid."
"Okay, dad. I don't even plan on drinking that much, if I do at all. The last thing I need is to get drunk and be pawed by some pimply freshmen boy."
"Now that is one porno I would not want to see…ever."
"Who are you kidding? You would put it on repeat."
"That's true, I do need to upgrade my collection soon. Want to hit up a video store sometime with me?"
"Girls watch porn all the time, don't even judge. I bet you've seen your fair share amount of adult films in your seventeen years."
"I'm watching one right now," I answered seductively.
"Really?! What's it called, maybe I've seen it."
"It's actually a personal video that some of my friends and I made last year in my bedroom, it's very sexy."
"I know that you're joking around B, but you are putting a lot of good stuff in my head."
"Again, disgusting. I'm going to hang up and let you get to, um, yeah I don't even want to think about what's going to happen after this. Have a good night little boy."
"Trust me, there's nothing little going on right now."
"Ew, fuck off Jake," I groaned. "That was probably a bad choice of words, I'm hanging up now, talk to you later, perv."
I had gone to bed in a good state of mind, minus the fleeting thoughts of how his night was going, but Jake always knew how to pull me out of the gutter. I was almost considering giving him a call as I was getting ready for school, he could turn my horrible morning around, but he was probably still sleeping, dreaming pornographic dreams. I wouldn't ruin that for him, not matter how gross it was.
As I drove to school, I couldn't help but think about how awful I was looking today. I woke up late, which meant no shower, and my body was sore from my fall into the hardwood floors. Why couldn't Charlie get carpet, or even floors made of feathers and marshmallows, it would have made my day a lot easier.
My attire for the day wasn't the greatest either. I was dressed in a pair of plain old jeans, a gray hoodie, and black converse. My hair was thrown up into a messy bun, looking more like a bird's nest than my usually tame hair. There was no doubt that I had dark circles under my eyes, which I know is just oh so sexy to look at, but I didn't really give a shit today. It was going to be hard enough to keep my eyes open.
When I pulled into the parking lot, I quickly noted that my usual spot was taken, fucking Newton and his piece of shit vehicle. I ended up with the only open space in the lot, of course, it had to be next to the bastard's mom car.
I sighed, shutting my car off, before grabbing the current book I was reading from my bag, opening it to the bookmarked page. If I was going to skip first period English, I could at least do something productive with my time. Plus, my book was way more entertaining than what was going on in class, The Great Gatsby, such an overrated book.
I had gotten twenty or so pages into the chapter when my passenger side door opened swiftly, making me jump slightly. A black backpack was tossed on the floor, a body dropping into the seat right after. You have got to be kidding me…
"What the hell are you doing here?" I groaned, putting the book down in my lap. This was definitely not my morning.
"Misery enjoys company or whatever the fuck it is," Edward said with a shrug, taking one last drag of his cigarette, before throwing it out and shutting the door.
"I could careless if you're miserable, leave."
"I wasn't referring to myself."
"I am not miserable, well, maybe now, but that is all due to a certain unwanted car guest who won't seem to take a hint."
"You looked like shit way before I even got into the car."
"Do you want me to smack you?" I asked, throwing him a glare.
"As long as I have a say in what area," he smirked.
"Pig," I muttered.
After taking a deep breath to calm myself, which failed to do it's job, I instead went back to reading my book. Maybe he would realize that I don't want anything to do with his sorry ass and that he should get out of my goddamn car.
What the hell was with him anyways? He gives me some false "warning" about James on Tuesday, then runs off like a scared little girl and leaves me to do all of the work in Biology. Wednesday, he returned and gave me the cold shoulder, not even bothering to sit with his friends at lunch. Yesterday it was the fucking Third World War, except without the guns, we chose to use insults as our weapon of choice. We did that the entire lunch period, Emmett found it amusing, sometimes making a dinging sound when someone won a round. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if he was wearing a referee costume, whistle and all.
"So…what are you reading?" He asked, breaking the silence.
"Clever, but seriously, trying to make small talk here."
"Do I look particularly chatty this morning or something, because I am not."
"It's called The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test," I sighed. "Happy?"
"Very," he nodded. "I think I've heard of it though, who's it by?"
"I don't think you would, it's not your usual Dr. Seuss," I smiled up at him innocently.
He laughed, taking the book out of my hands, his fingers touched briefly touched mine, that weird shock sensation spread through me once again. He looked down at his hand momentarily, before shaking his thoughts off, instead turning the book over and reading the back cover. I didn't even have the energy to yell at him for taking my stuff, my head was already throbbing.
"Tom Wolfe," he said to himself. "He wrote The Bonfire of Vanities, right?"
I stared at him, my eyes widening in surprise. That was not what I had expected. "I'm guessing you saw the movie or something?"
"Well, yeah, that was shit, but the book was pretty good. Also, wipe that shocked look off of your face, even I can read." He rolled his eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile.
"I knew you could, I just assumed it was something simpler, like Goldilocks and the Three Bears. That seems more up your alley," I said, half joking.
"Good story," he nodded. "I wouldn't mind some hot blonde jumping in my bed, licking up my porridge, she might find that my size is...just right."
"Only you could turn a sweet children's story into soft core porn."
"There's nothing soft about it," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. How did any girl ever take him seriously?
I laughed, "Is there some kind of inappropriate comment quota that you have to fill everyday?"
"There are a few things that need to be filled," he laughed. "Alright, hit my target number."
"I'm so glad that you interrupted my quiet reading time so that I could listen to you be a huge pervert, I appreciate it."
"I'm not as bad as Emmett," he pointed out.
"This is true. I thought Rose was going to chop off his balls yesterday when he made that one comment to the lunch lady."
We both started laughing at the memory. "That poor lady…"
"It's her own fucking fault for using the words sticky buns in front of the doofus," he nodded, wiping away some tears that had fallen loose from laughing hard.
"She was just doing her job, now she might end up quitting, I would."
"I don't know why I'm friends with him sometimes."
"He's one of the only ones who will put up with all of your bullshit."
"True," he nodded. "Not many people do."
"Not surprising, you're kind of an asshole, and by kind of, I mean a huuuge douchebag."
"Huh, You really don't like me?" he asked with an amused grin. I wish I knew what went through his thick skull sometimes, sinister things, most likely.
"You seem excited about that?"
"I'm just trying to figure you the fuck out…"
"Good luck with that." I looked down at my phone to check the time, thank god. "As much as I would love to stick around and chat, I actually have class to get to."
I reached behind his seat, grabbing my bag, I pulled it hard off of the floor. It was then I realized how close we were to one another. My chest was pressed against his arm, our noses were almost touching, my breathing hitched when his intense emerald eyes burned into mine. My brain stopped working as his scent flooded through me. What the fuck? It felt like hours had passed, but it was most likely seconds, his lips twitched into a knowing smirk.
"You so want me," he said smugly, grabbing his bag, and exiting the car.
"Fuck," I growled, hitting my steering wheel. Fucking bastard.
After a few more minutes of me mentally slapping myself, I walked into the building, getting a late slip and continued on with the uneventful morning. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to earlier events. How could I have even gotten close to thinking what I had been? I mean, kissing Cullen, what the fuck was that? It's as if he momentarily dazzled me or something, that was the only way I could even comprehend the "car incident".
All of that crap was distracting me from the fact that I looked like shit today, only to be reminded by Tanya and her whorebagging gang in Spanish. I could not even come up with a decent comeback, which boost her ego even more.
Two egos were now blooming today because of me, mine however had deflated into a puddle of mush.
As I walked towards the cafeteria, I almost considered not going at all, Edward would no doubt tell everyone at the table about how obsessed I was with him, or however he chooses to word it. Rosalie and Alice would lecture me about how gross it is, Emmett would never let me live it down, Jasper would just stay neutral and maybe shake his head while laughing silently. It wouldn't be worth it.
My legs seemed to decide my own fate, walking me towards the table, where Emmett was sitting by himself. I sat down, looking at him, he had a giant smirk on his face. Fuck my life.
"What?" I asked warily.
"I think you know," he wiggled his brows.
"Um, it's not what you think-"
"It's exactly what I think," he pumped his fist in the air. "Party tonight! Are you as excited as me to get wasted?"
"Oh, yeah, party." Thank you, Jesus. "I'm excited too."
"Wow, Boo, you looked like you were about to get the worst news of your life? What's wrong? Do I have to kick somebody's ass, because I will."
Emmett had started calling me Boo, apparently I looked like an older version of Boo from Monsters, Inc when I got mad, which amused him beyond belief.
"No, I'm alright, just not having a great morning."
"Alright little girl, tell me about it, let papa Em help."
"Surprisingly, you only sounded mildly like a sex offender," I chuckled. "And no, I'll be fine. Lots of alcohol tonight will be the perfect medication."
"That's my Boo!" he cheered.
Rose, Alice, and Jasper joined us moments later, Alice talking animatedly about tonight, while the others nodded, attempting to keep up.
"Bella, how many clothing options are you bringing over for tonight?" she asked excitedly.
"I already picked what I'm wearing," I shrugged. The silence that followed made me nervous, I looked up to see Jasper shaking his head in anticipation. "What?"
"Bellllla!" She whined. "I thought you said I had a final say in your attire?"
"No Alice, you said that you had a final say, I chose to take a different route."
Her bottom lip pushed forward, she tilted her head, staring at me with puppy dog eyes. I swear I even heard a slight whimper come out of her. I wasn't going to fall for it. Knowing Alice for all of a week, she would put me in some sparkly, fuchsia mini skirt and ten inch heels.
"Don't worry, you'll like what I picked."
"I didn't even get a chance to rate it on my fashion forward scale! What if it ranks lower than a seven?"
"Then I will have to live with the consequences of being below par, it will be tough, but I can handle the tough feat."
"Can you at least describe the articles of clothing, remember that I need specific details." Alice was like no one else I had ever met, but I found myself drawn to her eccentricity and perkiness, even if she was slowly gnawing away at my patience.
"It's a surprise."
"You're killing me Bella," she said, sighing dramatically. "I swear to god though, if I see gaucho pants or a socks and scandals combo, I will be forced to kill you."
"What's a gaucho?"
"I'm not sure, but I think I ordered one at Taco Bell yesterday," Emmett said with a straight face. We all started laughing at his stupidity, sometimes he really made my day. It's a shame that he was once a huge jackass, but at least he's changed, unlike-
"Eddie boy, what took you so long? Quickie in the locker room with one of your lady tramps?" Rose asked, as the chair next to me slid out, Edward taking the seat with a sigh.
"I was praying and doing other holy things," he smirked.
We all looked at Emmett curiously. What the fuck?
"What? I heard it on one of those Evangeline things!" He shrugged, shoveling some chocolate pudding into his mouth.
"Em, I think you mean evangelist," Jasper explained.
"Oh yeah, Evangeline is that hot chick from Lost, damn she is sexy."
"You are hopeless."
"By hopeless you mean studly, right?"
I laughed, looking over at Edward, immediately he threw me a smirk. Asshat. I was about to tell him to fuck off, but my eyes moved past his head to look at what was going on a few tables away. Angela was sitting at her usual table, all by herself, while Tanya with skank one and skank two stood next to her. She looked on the verge of tears. My chest began to ache, remembering a similar situation.
Six years ago
'They were careless people, Tom and Daisy - they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money of their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made…'
I reread the line once again, it was from my all time favorite book, The Great Gatsby. It made me think of them. The five of them who caused people so much pain, only to walk away, not a care in the world.
I can't help but feel similar to Nick Carraway, the outsider looking in. I, however, wasn't as lucky. They didn't invite me to their fancy parties or a nice brunch, like Gatsby had. Instead, I got torn down, emotionally and if you count Rosalie pushing me off of the monkey bars in third grade, then physically too.
Each day, I go home a reflect on all of the crap I am put through, just as Nick does when he returns to the Midwest and thinks back at all of his experiences in New York.
I was nothing special, definitely not a Daisy Buchanan, there was nothing exciting about me. I wasn't beautiful. All I had was frizzy hair, thick glasses, and baggy thrift store clothing. I'll never have some loving romance with a rich man who will adore me. If anything, I will have to settle for whoever will take me. That was life, well, my life.
I turned the page, taking another bite of my turkey sandwich, multitasking. This was my average lunch time event. Sitting at a table by myself, eating whatever my mom packed, while reading a new book. Since today was my birthday, I went with a favorite classic of mine.
The seat next to me pulled out, Emmett sat down, followed by the other four. I looked at each of them individually. Alice and Jasper looked somewhat uncomfortable, Rose rolled her eyes in obvious boredom, and Edward just smirked.
"Whatcha reading?" Edward yanked the book out of my head. "What a loser! Who reads this crap for fun? Only you."
"You just now figured out that she's a loser?" Rose laughed. "She's been since kindergarten, well, more like the day that she was born. Your poor parents, didn't know that they were going to get a giant disappointment."
"That's true," Emmett laughed. "So Frizzy, did you come out of the womb with that hair or has it just gotten even more disgusting every year?"
I didn't answer, keeping my eyes averted to the table.
"Are you stupid or something? Answer the question," Edward demanded.
"Please, leave me alone," I said in a shaky voice, hoping it was audible. I wish that they could leave me be.
"Aw, Frizzy is gonna cry!" Emmett chuckled. "I wish I had a camera."
"Hey guys, how about we go outside for lunch today, it's nice out." Alice said quickly, I looked up to see her staring back sympathetically.
"Whatever, why don't you just be her friend or something Ali, although I can't understand why you would want to hang around somebody so ugly," Edward stood up, the others following suit.
My welled up tears finally spilled over as they walked away from the table. Why couldn't I be beautiful like Daisy?
I pushed back my own horrible memories, I couldn't let that happen to someone else, especially Angela. I stood up suddenly, my chair screeching back, as I began walking towards them. I could hear Alice calling my name, but ignored it. Nobody deserved to be put down by those bitches. Angela was me, six years ago, all I ever wanted was for someone to stick up for me, it never happened, I would be there for her though.
"Weber you really need to stop with the pigtails, we aren't fucking ten anymore. Maybe you should grow the fuck up if you want that little crush of yours, Benny boy, to notice your ugly ass…" Tanya said, her two cronies snickering.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" I growled, stepping in between Tanya and Angela, my eyes narrowing with disgust and fury.
"Aw Bella, sticking up for dweebs now, so sweet of you, but this is none of your business," she glared, sticking her hand on her bony hip. "Now, go away, before you regret this."
"Tanya, if that is your attempt at scaring me, you failed horribly. Next time, just point out your herpes sores, now that shit is terrifying."
"Dwyer, I will fucking-"
"I know, you're great at fucking, the whole school knows. I wonder what daddy Pastor will think about his slut of a daughter, it would break his little Jesus loving heart," I smirked.
"You do realize that I could ruin your life, right?"
I moved forward, backing her against a table. "I know that every other girl at this school might be afraid of you, but all I see is a little bitch whose only good at being a cum dumpster for all of these nasty high school boys. You can go around, pretending to be superior, I couldn't give a fuck, but when you go around putting someone like Angela down, now that pisses me the fuck off."
"What are you going to do, hit me?"
"The idea has definitely crossed my mind quite a bit, but I won't this time. If I see you or your whore parade even look at Angela wrong, I will hurt you so fucking bad. When I'm done beating the shit out of you, daddy will have to pay for a whole new face for you…again. Do you understand?"
"This is ridicu-"
"Answer the fucking question," I said louder, pushing her shoulders roughly, causing her to fall back onto the table.
"Understood," she smiled with noticeable fakery.
"Good, now run along and suck a dick or whatever it is you do in between doing your hair and being a giant hag."
I backed away, she stood slowly, straightening out her clothes first and walking away in a huff with her two lapdogs following close behind. I glanced around the cafeteria, everyone seemed to be fixated on me, which was slightly annoying. Fucking small town school, this was probably the only exciting thing to happen all year.
"Are you alright?" I asked Angela, who was sitting down stunned.
"Yes," she breathed out.
"Don't let them get to you, there's a whole world outside of this town, where people aren't like that. It sucks now, but it will get better," I smiled. "And if anyone says anything to you, let me know, I happen to have a mean right hook."
"Thank you," she smiled meekly. This poor girl has been put through hell, I could see it in her eyes.
"Do you want to hang out?"
"Do you want to do something after school today, maybe go somewhere tonight? I could come over your house, we can get all dolled up, light pictures of Tanya on fire…I don't know what you're into."
"You want to hang out with…me?"
"Yeah, I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to," I said with a smile. "I like surrounding myself around nice people, this town kind of lacks anyone with manners, I have to grab onto whoever I can get with an actual heart. So is that a yes to today?"
"Will we get to do the whole burning picture thing?"
"I'm already stocking up on the lighter fluid," I smirked, she gave me an actual smile, which made me happier.
She wrote down her phone number and address, we set up a time for me to come over. I would bring some clothes to her house, get her looking unbelievable, and we would go to the party together, whether she wanted to or not. She needed to have somebody on her side, and I was going to be that person.
I said my goodbyes, walking back over to my table, before taking my seat. I folded my hands into my lap, keeping my eyes on the table. Somebody coughed to get my attention.
"What?" I finally asked, looking up.
"What?" Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You just kicked some ass and all you say is what?"
"Technically, there was no actual ass kicking, not yet anyway," I shrugged.
"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen," Emmett smirked. "Rosie, you need to get in on that action. Next time, we will throw some mud down, charge admission, it will be epic!"
"The mud is out, but I would love to smash up her face."
"That was really nice of you Bella," Jasper smiled, getting a nod from Alice.
"It's no big deal," I shrugged. "If I was in her shoes, I would want someone to stick up for me."
"You'd never be as lame as Weber," Edward laughed.
I couldn't be around dumbasses anymore today. I shook my head, standing up from the table once again, glaring at him. "You really are a huge asshole, your just as bad as those fucking sluts, even crueler, definitely crueler! Get a fucking heart, before I kick your sorry ass too, Cullen."
I threw my trash out, walking away from the table, seething. He was such a jerk, no respect for anyone. It was obvious that he would never change, he would always be that cocky bastard who will get everything in life, thanks to his daddy's money and undeserving good looks. I wanted to punch a wall, kick a puppy, yell at an infant! I hated that bastard. What was wrong with him?
I grabbed my books for Biology, slamming my locker door shut and made my way to the class. I sat down in the seat, gripping the table top. He better not talk to me.
Lucky for me he didn't even show up, he knew what was good for him. First he comes into my car this morning, we had a surprisingly decent conversation, even talking books. Then he almost dazzled me into doing something I would have killed myself for doing, I wasn't even remotely attracted to him, never. Now he had to go pull that jackass move, proving to me once and again that he would never change his ways.
Tonight wasn't about him though, it was about Angela, also getting James to forget about whatever Edward had said to him and finally start talking to me again. I was determined to not let that douchebag ruin my night, no matter what.