"I have to work here." Xemnas says to Saix.
"You said draw a job out of a hat."
"Ugh, im regretting it." Xemnas flashbacks.
"Okay everyone, sense Sora has supposedly killed us. We are, well, running low on munny."
"Why can't we just do what we usually do."
"Roxas, im sorry but we were sent a letter saying, I quote. 'Get off your lazy ass. All of you. Get a job and start living in the real world.' So we have to get jobs."
"So who was it from?"
"I don't know, Roxas."
"You don't even know who it's from. Yet your doing it."
"Yes, that's right."
"Now everyone, pull a job out of this hat. This will be your job until we have enough munny to settle our needs. Jobs were already in this hat so lets see what you'll get."
"We can't we pick our jobs."
"Roxas, shut up. You'll do what I say and enjoy it."
"How do you know that someone didn't mess with or look at the jobs."
"I left them in my room, that's why."
"Oh!" Roxas says nervously.
"Nothing!" Roxas then flashbacks.
"Axel, this is some great 'hic' whatever this is." Roxas says in an high voice.
"I know right. I got it off some guy on the corner." Axel replied sounding smashed.
"I wonder what it is?"
"Who are 'hic' you?"
"THE KOOL-AID MAN!" Roxas screams.
"What do you wanna do?"
"Lets go see Xemmy man!"
"Otay!" Roxas says.
"Hey look, a hat full of jobs. All these jobs SUCK!" Axel tells Roxas.
"Look at em, whoever wrote em down is a great prankster. Hey, you still have some sugar under your nose."
"Oh yeah, thanks Kool-aid guy. Say, lets go get some more of this stuff. That guys was really nice." Axel says wiping the cra....sugar of off his upper lip and nose.
"What did he look like again?" Roxas asked.
"He had a scar and an eyepatch."
"Cool! A pirate! Hey, do think this is crack?"
"Nah, it's just sugar."
"LETS GO GET MORE!"
"So lets just draw already!" Xemnas tells Roxas.
"Superior are you okay?" Saix asks concerned
"Oh yes, of course number seven."
"I mean really. How bad could it be?"
Saix snatches the piece of paper. He looks at it and just dies a little inside.
"Good Kingdom Hearts your job SUCKS!" Saix yells.
"Do you think this person just wrote down random things? Just to see who would get the most embarrassing job, Saix."
"The person who gave us these jobs."
"I think your right."
He looks at his job and sighs. He walks to the building. He stands outside and stares at his employment. He turns around to look at Saix who has fled the scene. He turns back around and says the name out loud.
"Happy Meadows Day Care Center." He says to himself.
He walks inside to be greeted by a young spunky red head. Her hair traveled down to her back and she had the brownest eyes anyone could have. She was wearing all green. And she had a cunning smile.
"Hey are you, Xem-na-ses."
"Oh yeah. Anyhow, welcome to your job. I hope your excited?"
"You wouldn't know, how much im 'feeling' right now." He said sarcastically.
"GREAT!" She said not listening to him. "Now your group will be ages 2-3." She said dragging him to the door.
"Wait. Aren't those the terrible ages. Were their a pain in the as...."
She pushes him in the door. "If you need anything, just say my name!" She slams the door in his face and runs off.
"You didn't...tell me your name."
He turns around to see kids looking at him. He walks over to the middle of the room.
"Hi kiddies. My name is Xemnas, but you can call me Superior." He said slowing and slurring the words.
The kids just stared at him and ran toward him.
After fighting the children off he takes a seat in the corner. Rocking in the fetal position. He looks at all the children. One child has silver hair and green, aquamarine eyes. Sliver bangs are in his eyes. Two other children rushed over to look at him. One has burgundy hair and dark blue eyes. Her hair was like Kairi's hair, only longer. The other one having bushy brown hair with blue eyes. He was holding a giant key.
"YOU! YOU'RE HERE! HOW CAN YOU BE HERE!? YOUR FIFTEEN! FOR KINGDOM HEARTS SAKE YOUR FIF-TEEN!" Xemnas screamed.
"You a funny old man. Im Sora and these are my best friends Kairi and Riku."
Xemnas slams his head into the table. He looks over and the children are gone.
"Oh thank Kingdom Hearts. They were just a hallucination."
He looks at the children playing. Until he sees a brown haired girl playing with a balloon animal. It's shaped as a key. He moves closer to her.
"BOOM! POW! You dead evil kid! Now I will seal the keyhole with my keyblade!"
He rubs his eyes to see she's not real. He then gets up and looks at himself in a mirror. He sticks out his tongue and pushes up his eyelids. After doing so, he retakes his seat.
"Good, she's fake. Am I so traumatized to think that all of these kids, are some how related to Sora? Maybe im just a little nervous because of the ambush. Yeah, that's right!"
Some snacks are thrown in threw the door. The lady gives an evil smile and runs off again. He just dies a little more inside. He walks over to them and picks them up.
"Alright kids! Snack time!"
The kids keep running until......
After a finger in the eye and a kick to where the sun don't shine, he again sits in the corner. Until a little girl walks over and sits next to him. He, thinking she's an allusion, just ignores her, until she speaks.
"What's your name?"
"Weren't you listening to me earlier? It's Xemnas."
"Oh yeah! Sorry."
"It's.....alright." He says a little put off.
"Soooooo......aren't you intelligent for your age."
"YUP! My mommy says im a gen-i-ous. Genious!"
Just then Sora walks through the door. He looks around to see Xemnas. He runs in and throws a block at him.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!?" Sora asks in a panic tone.
"At my job." Xemnas replies.
"Yes, everyone in my Organization had to get a job because of you."
"Sorry man. It's my job."
"I know. It's what had to be done. Anyhow, what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't hold it."
"I had to go potty!!!"
"You couldn't hold your bladder?"
"Well, did you go?"
"Then why are you still here?"
"I can't find my way out."
"And your IQ is WHAT!?"
"Ummmmm......I don't know."
"I think it's negative 5." Xemnas says in a whisper.
The red head comes in and throws in another set of snacks. They hit Xemnas, and before he can get them off. They attack.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! ANOTHER AMBUSH!!!!!!!!!"
"Do you want help!?!?" Sora asks.
"YESSSSSSSSS!!!! HEY!!!!!!!! WATCH IT!!!!!"
Sora helps Xemnas up and helps cleaning him off. After that Xemnas grabs Sora by the shoulders.
"Sora! I want you to take me, to an ally. Then I want you to beat the crap out of me. I don't care how much I plead. Just keep on hitting and don't stop." He says shaking him.
"Are you sure?"
"YES! I DON'T WANNA BE HERE! JUST BEAT ME SO I CAN GO HOME!"
"Okay, um, follow me."
Later that day Sora beat the snot out of Xemnas. And Xemnas went into the hospital. He was put into a full body cast and was unable to work at 'Happy Meadow Day Care Center'. Their for, was quickly fired. He then sat at his office. Looking at all the members.
"I want to say. If any of you laugh at that place. It will get you. The happy smiles and fluffy clouds are painted on to make you let your guard down. Then these midgets come and ambush you! And they kick you were the sun don't shine."
All member look at their Superior and frown. While Roxas, Axel and Demyx snicker. Xigbar starts to enter the room. But Xemnas quickly sees him. A hatful face appears on his. And Xigbar knows he's in for it.
"SO! How was your day? At work."
"Um, well........it was good."
"You didn't go. Did you?"
"I don't start till later!"
"Fine. What's in your hand?" Xemnas still says in a hatful ass tone.
"Your pay check and a letter."
"Do I just shove it in your mouth?"
"GIVE IT TO SAIX! SAIX READ IT!" Xemnas yells pissed off.
"Ummm, okay. The letter says. 'Thank you for trying to fill our position in 'Happy Meadow Day Care Center' but your help will no longer be needed. We found someone else, so don't ask for it back. But we gave you a weeks pay, so you won't sue. So don't sue you ass or we'll say you beat a child! -your friend Mary a.k.a red head.' And your pay is.......500 munny!!!"
"Wow." Everyone says trying to make Xemnas feel better.
"That stupid red headed girl. I hope she gets eaten by a Heartless. And her nobody is under my control, that way I CAN DESTROY HER! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"
"Well, that's great......but, I have to be on my way to work." Xigbar says.
"Okay, Xigbar. Have a NICE FREAKING ASS DAY!!!!"
Before leaving Xigbar whispers to Saix.
"He needs one of those sleeping, forget, night night pills."
"I'll make sure he has one. It's like he has rabies."
"What was that!?!?" Xemnas screams.
"Nothing sir. Come on, lets go take your pi.....GET A CUP OF COFFEE!!" Saix tells him.
"Okay." Xemnas replies.
Xigbar watches in shame. And then he heads out the door to his job.
To be continued...
Roxas and Axel were not giving or took crack. It was sugar. Promise. I know that this was probably a weird and maybe not funny chapter. But it was hard to write for Xemnas. And you know you laughed when he was ambushed. You know, you snickered. And if you don't review, well then. Xemnas will come and throw a brick in your window! And then he'll laugh at you! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! So stay tuned. Next up is Xigbar. And you know you wanna know what he gets.