Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 1
I read the Twilight Saga last November and quickly became captivated by the story that Stephenie Meyer created. To say that I became obsessed is probably an understatement, as here I am eight months later still reading about it. I've decided to try to write about it now, after a month of reading fanfiction and feeling inspired to give it my own shot. This is my first fic so I don't know how it'll go, I know what I plan to do but we'll see how it goes when I actually get it all down on screen.
I lack the creativity that so many fanfiction authors possess, so instead of making up my own story from scratch, at least this first time out, I'm going to stick with Meyer's story and attempt to correct an egregious error she made, at least in my book. I know several people who have the same issue, so I'm not alone and I want to fix it and see how the story would go if this step had been taken.
We pick up toward the end of Eclipse, when Jacob is kissing Bella at her request after he threatens to off himself in the battle with the newborn vampires. Let me know what you think!
I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters, I'm just changing it a bit.
You would think that kissing a man with a body temperature of 108 degrees wouldn't leave a person cold, wouldn't you? But here I was, having my mouth devoured by Jacob and I felt nothing. No heat, no passion, no excitement. If I had to put it into words I guess I would say that I felt numb. I couldn't even feel the love that I felt for my best friend in that moment, not knowing that what I was doing was going to hurt the man that I truly loved; a man who despite his frigid body temperature never left me cold inside.
I flashed back to Edward's kisses from just two nights ago, when he finally broke me down and got me to agree to be his wife. Ugh, wife! But I couldn't begrudge him that, not when I saw the joy that he felt when I gave him his much longed for yes. I have never seen my Edward happier and I swear I will do anything from here on out to bring that glowing smile to his face. Edward had kissed me that night with unrestrained passion, which he never does out of fear of hurting me. His love had left me hot and breathless and worked up for so much more.
Edward! I groaned, thinking of how I was going to walk back to that tent and face him after kissing Jacob. What would it do to him? He had been so hurt this morning after watching me sleep in Jacob's arms. His eyes looked dead…I never wanted to see him look like that again. I hated the pain I had caused him and I know I'm only going to cause him more with this kiss. I just have to make him understand that it means nothing.
Crap, Jake heard my groan and tightened his grip on me, clearly he thinks I'm enjoying this just as much as he is. I wish he'd hurry up and let me go. I hate this situation and I hate knowing that I've caused it. I knew Jake had feelings for me and I kept going to see him. I see my selfishness now; it wasn't fair to lead him on and it wasn't fair to make Edward feel insecure either. I don't understand how such a gorgeous creature could ever be insecure over me, but I know that he is. That look on his face this morning is burned into my brain now. I can't let it go, he really does think he can lose me. I have to show him he's the only one.
Damn, Jake, would you hurry up so I can go talk to him? I need to make it right. Once and for all, I need to end this seesaw ride I've been teetering on since we got back from Italy. I need to make my choice and it's an easy one. It's the choice I made the day I figured out that Edward was a vampire. It didn't matter to me because he's the one. The only one. Jake was just going to have to understand that and let me go. I have to let him go too, though. That's my fault. I should have dealt with this long ago.
Finally the pressure on my lips starts to ease and Jake pulls back, keeping his hands on my shoulders. He smiles that special smile that lights up his whole face and my heart lurches. I hate that I'm going to hurt him. He was there for me when I needed him most but I just can't be there for him, not the way he wants me to. I open my mouth to tell him but he reaches forward and gives me another kiss, a peck this time.
"Gotta go, Bells! We'll talk about this later, but right now I have some bloodsucker butt to go kick!" As big as he is, I often forget he's only 16. Times like this drive home just how young he truly is. He's like a little kid running off to play war with his buddies, not understanding the gravity of the situation. My friends could get hurt, or even die today and he's busy whooping it up over getting to fight some vamps.
"No time, Bells, the newborns will be here soon and I've got to go phase. See you later!" He planted another kiss on me and raced into the forest. Clearly I'll have to deal with him later, I guess at least he's going off thinking that he has something to fight for. That was my goal after all, the reason I asked him to give me the ridiculous kiss.
Now that it's over, I have to go find Edward. I know he's probably seen everything through Jake's eyes and I'm scared to death at what I'll find when I return to the tent. I realize that I'm crying. When did that start? I impatiently wipe my tears away. I have to go find Edward but my feet don't want to move. I'm so anxious to see him but so scared at the same time. Baby steps, Bella. One foot after the other. He loves you, you know he loves you. He'll listen. He just has to.
As I walk through the forest, partially obscured by the tears that are still leaking down my face, I ponder everything that's happened over the last two days. I got engaged. Me, Bella Swan, getting married. Soon to be Bella Cullen. I really do like the sound of that, even if I don't like the idea of marriage itself. It's not really the idea of forever with Edward that scares me. How could it? I want to be with him for eternity. Hundreds, maybe thousands of years. No, it's Renee. Renee and Charlie. How are my parents going to react to this news?
I glance down at my now empty ring finger. It won't be empty for long, at least as long as Edward forgives me for kissing Jake. God I hope that one impulsive move doesn't ruin us. Now I find myself hoping to get to the chance to tell Charlie and Renee that I got engaged. Please, please don't let everything be ruined. I need Edward. He's my everything. I will spend my life making sure that he knows that.
My feet have carried me to the clearing where we camped last night. Seth is pacing back and forth in front of the tent, his body tensed. He glances at me and looks quickly away. I know he knows what I just did and I'm sure he's judging me for it. Welcome to the club, buddy.
I ignore him and walk toward the tent. You can do this, Bella. I take a deep breath and duck inside, ready to face my love, my fate and my future.