DISCLAIMER – I do not own Twilight.
As always, I'm ever grateful to the readers and Beta Lulu. Special thanks go to new reader LaPumuckl, who reviewed every single chapter and DreamOfTheEndless who was reviewer #900, thank you! A big shout out goes out to KRYork, thank you for hassling me when I don't update and crying when you read the update.
This chapter is a bit short, but next chapter will be much longer as it will conclude the hospital stay and well, the whole story.
I may be a slow updating hoor, but I'm your slow updating hoor and I love you!
"My momma told me don't lose you It seems like everywhere I go
'Cause the best luck I had was you
The more I see, the less I know
But I know one thing
That I love you (baby girl)
I love you, I love you, I love you"
It seems like everywhere I go
Say Hey (I Love You), Michael Franti & Spearhead
~Previously on TB
The look on Bella's face is something I could never explain, but it made me forget the hell I had went through the past day, even if just for a moment. I watched them as their brown eyes stared at each other until I'm crying too and I didn't even try to stop this time. The tears rolled down my face and I didn't care because I was so happy.
"Elizabeth" She whispered to the baby.
I nod and I cry harder, but I can't remember being any happier.
"Elizabeth" I said kissing my daughter's head, "just like your grandma."
Bella's eyes got big and her mouth turned into an 'O' and my suspicions were confirmed; I never told her my mother's name. I just smiled and nodded to her.
"It's perfect, just like both my girls." I kissed them on their heads and whispered 'I love you' to both of them.
EPOV ~ The Next Morning
I was in the process of telling Bella everything. Well, we hadn't gotten past the whole nurse ordeal yet, so I suppose we were still at the beginning of this fuckawful process.
"What do you mean she was fired!?" She exclaimed yet again and I was using a lot of self control at the moment.
"Bella, like I already said, she killed you and I suppose that's against some sort of hospital policy and now she has been fired."
She frowned before she spoke "She didn't kill me. She actually probably saved my life because she initiated the resuscitation." She countered.
"Yeah, resuscitation, after she killed you!"
"I just don't want anyone fired because of me!" She was wailing now and I knew I had to stop this.
"Bella, she did something wrong and she's being punished for it. That's just how things work. She was fired for her own actions, quit taking responsibility for something she did."
"There's no buts, and I really want to stop talking about the nurse."
"You really need to quit calling all of the nurses 'the nurse'. It's confusing and I think they would appreciate being called by their first names, instead of "the stupid one that got fired, the first one, and the one with the tits." She gave me a skeptical look.
It was true. I hated the stupid, bitch nurse that got fired, the first one or sometimes referred to as 'favorite nurse' she was the one that took Bella to the operating room and talked to me afterwards. I suppose they all had tits, but fuck, the one had them practically hanging out of her scrubs and I'm almost sure they're pierced.
"Well, I don't know their names. What am I supposed to call them?"
"Oh, I don't know, but here's an idea. Learn their names!"
"Oh, because you know all of their names!?"
"Barbara, Charity, and Kelly." She responded instantly.
Of course she knew all their names. I don't know why I would've thought otherwise. There were other nurses too, but those were the main ones, but she probably knew all their freaking names too. I didn't say anything, just scowled.
"Yeah, the nurse that got fired has an actual name because she's a real person and she probably has kids to support!" Ok, we were back to the wailing.
"Bella, that old woman has as many kids at home as Grandma Cullen does."
She sniffled and looked up at me. "I thought Grandma Cullen was dead."
"My point exactly."
She huffed at me, but thank goodness she quit talking about it.
"Ok, so we have other things to talk about." I said quietly trying to ease her into a different conversation.
"Like this paperwork we have to get returned? Elizabeth still doesn't have a middle name."
"Marie. There, that's finished. Can we get back to talking about the other stuff?" I said shortly and she huffed at me again.
"No, not Marie. This is our daughter's name, the name she'll have forever. Can you please take it more seriously!" Wailing again. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose before responding.
"I'm sorry, Bella." I said softly because a real man knows when to step down because there's no winning otherwise, or so I'm told. "What name were you thinking of?" I asked.
"I don't know." She had her lip puffed out and I didn't know what to say. I thought Marie was a pretty good suggestion.
"How about Edwina?" I said straight-faced.
"Ok." She said nodding her head.
"What the…are you serious? You didn't like Marie, but you like Edwina?" I said the name like it tasted bad in my mouth because, fuck, it must. That's why I've never met anyone named that.
"Well, I didn't know you weren't being serious. I thought you wanted to name her after you. If were just joking around how about Gertrude or Brunhilda?"
"I wanted to name her after you. What's wrong with Marie?"
"Nothing. I just don't want to name her that."
"Fine. She's named after my mother, so is there a family name from your family that you would like to use?"
"No, not really. I want something that means something, like really means something." She said passionately. I'm not sure I understood what she meant.
"Like Love or Hope? Or what did you say the first nurse's name was? Charity? Yeah, something like that?"
"Well, no, but I do kind of like that." She said and I could tell she was thinking.
"Ok, how about Hope? That's nice." I felt like that could represent a lot of what we had felt over all these months. She thought for a minute before she responded.
"Hope is something we do when we are uncertain of what's going to happen, but we know what we wish to happen. I knew in my heart that whatever happened it would be for the best. I didn't know when or how or even what that would be, but I just knew that baby wasn't the mistake everyone said she was, she's a miracle and I had faith that everything would be ok even though I was so scared most of the time. I had faith."
I smiled, a real smile.
"Elizabeth Faith Cullen" I said aloud.
"That sounds perfect!" She had a huge beaming smile too. "Now, we just have to think of a nickname."
"I don't know if we're capable of any more thinking." I said with a groan. " And why a nickname? You don't even like yours."
"I know, but Elizabeth is such a big, grown up name for such a little baby."
"Ok, but let's think about that later. We're going to have visitors soon." I said looking at the clock.
I filled out the paperwork that was full of redundant questions while she ate breakfast. The nurse had come in to check both Bella and Elizabeth. Everything seemed to be going well, but we knew it would be awhile before Bella was released due to all of her complications.
She was still hooked up to a bunch of tubes and monitors. Her chest was bruised terribly and she tried really hard to keep me from seeing it, but I had. It was horrible and I knew she was really sore even though she tried to act like she wasn't. I tried to help with the baby as much as I could. I had changed a few more diapers and wasn't really getting any better, but I was trying.
The ledge by the window was already filled with balloons and flowers that must have been sent last night because they were waiting here when she was transferred to a regular room. Well, I don't know about regular, it was pretty big, like a suite or some shit, but we didn't complain because at least she wouldn't have a roommate.
The clock just struck 8 o'clock when Alice burst through the door looking over perky even for her. She had on a flowery dress with big jewelry and really high shoes that made her an almost average height. She also had a huge pink diaper bag that looked to be bursting at the seams hanging off her shoulder.
"Good morning! Where's the baby!?" Glad to see she had her priorities straight.
She didn't even really look at us. She went straight to the crib and picked Elizabeth up and held her close. Elizabeth didn't seem to object.
"I already washed my hands so don't worry." She said and was all smiles.
"Bella" She said sadly while looking at her sister in law. She put one hand on Bella's arm and her other arm was wrapped around the baby. She didn't elaborate, they shared a look, and then that was it.
"Two hands." Bella scolded her with a pointed finger and she quickly held the baby with two.
I moved a chair close to Bella's bed so Alice could sit there and talk. She was going on and on about the clothes that she brought. Apparently, Elizabeth would be getting her photo taken and she wanted to be sure she had an outfit to wear. She also packed a bunch of other 'girl appropriate accessories'. I'm not sure exactly what that meant, but she showed Bella a bunch of outfits, sleepers, dresses, bibs, socks, booties, bonnets, and I don't even know what else.
"Wow, I didn't even think the stores were open yet." Bella exclaimed at the pile that had accumulated on her lap.
"Oh, I bought these things months ago." Alice said casually with a wave of her hand.
"You knew she was a girl?" Bella asked incredulously, but Alice just shrugged her shoulders.
I guess we didn't have to worry about the nursery being some blue, boy only type room, not that I had thought of it until now, but it was good to know that I didn't have to worry about it.
Then my dad, Esme, Rose, Emmett, and Jasper all came in. I noticed Jasper giving Alice a look. She must've ditched them all and it made me laugh to think about it.
I snatched the baby back from Alice which I'm sure she would've protested if she thought she had any chance of winning.
Poor Elizabeth had been passed around like a hot potato, but it wasn't so bad. Rose had even tried to sing her a lullaby. Tried being the operative word, for someone so pretty you would probably never guess she had such a horrible singing voice. Well, Elizabeth placed her little hand right on Rose's mouth. It was like she was saying "Shut up!". We all laughed, well everyone except Rose. Everybody had held Elizabeth for awhile, but oddly enough, it seemed she always ended up back in Alice's arms. Alice even volunteered to change her diaper, for which I was overjoyed. Of course, it was soon discovered that her main motivation behind that was to change the baby out of the hospital provided onesie and into one that read "I'm a hottie and so is my Auntie!".
My family had just made their way to the cafeteria and I took a deep breath. I was reclined in the chair next to Bella's bed with Elizabeth in my arms and I thought we would get a moment alone, maybe to talk or maybe just to be quiet and to be together. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but I have a new family now and I was excited to just be with them for a moment. I think Bella felt that way too. She was just quietly laying in bed looking at us and it was a nice moment.
It was Bella who broke the silence.
"Do you think it's weird for your dad that the baby is named Elizabeth?"
"What? No. No, way. He seemed really happy when I told him and no one really called her Elizabeth; they called her Lizzie."
"Oh" She said simply with the slightest pout of her lip.
"That's the nick name you liked wasn't it?"
"Yeah, but we can find another."
"Sure we can; there are tons."
She thought for a moment before spouting a few off. "Libby, Betty, Liza, Betsy".
She stopped suddenly with a quirked eyebrow. It was then that I realized I was making a sour face.
"So, I guess you don't like any of those?" She asked with a laugh.
"I don't think you did either." I said while shaking my head.
Our moment alone was short lived though because in walked Emily and her cousin Leah. They had their hands full with more balloons and stuffed animals and a little girl I had never met before.
"Hey, guys!" Bella seemed really excited to see them.
"Oh my gosh!" They yelled back and after that it was just a lot of hugging and blubbering.
I put Elizabeth back in her bed, thinking I would just let her rest while they talked.
Emily handed me the balloons that were tied to a fluffy something. I took them over to the ledge and made room for them among the sea of varying shades of pink. Well, except for one, lone blue balloon in the back. I didn't think much of it and sat the new ones in front of it. I turned around to see the little girl staring up at me.
"Hi, what's your name?" I said to the little girl. I could totally do this, be all cool with little kids, after all I was a father now.
"I'm Cwaire and I'm free." She said with a big smile and held up three fingers.
Emily blushed and picked up Claire.
"Sorry, Edward." She smiled and gave me a one armed hug and said congratulations.
To this, Claire got very excited and bounced up and down a little while clapping. "Where's da baby? Where's da baby?" She sang.
Emily just laughed "This is my niece, Claire, who really loves babies."
Who was I to keep a three year old waiting? I quickly scooped up the baby and showed her to Claire.
"This is baby Elizabeth." I told her.
"Lilly Beth" She slurred.
"No, E-liz-a-beth." Emily sounded out for her, but she just kept saying "Lilly Beth" over and over again.
I looked at Bella and our eyes just locked, Lilly, that was the one.
My family had come back in and visited for awhile longer until they finally left. It was like they worked in rotations because when they came back, Emily and Leah took Claire to get some lunch. Not long after my family left Emily and Leah came back to visit a little longer and somehow I was the one that had Claire in my lap with Elizabeth, or rather Lilly, in her lap. It was cute and I had to banish the thought from head that this is how it would be if Lilly were to become a big sister someday. I still had to have that discussion with Bella, but for now I just had to be thankful for the wonderful things I did have in my life.
Lilly was getting really fussy and Claire seemed about done with the whole visit too. Leah took Claire into the restroom and when she was walking out Jacob was walking into the room and they nearly collided. Well, they kind of did collide, but it ended up being this weird embrace, staring thing. He ended up walking them down to the parking garage and didn't return for a little while.
Bella was feeding Lilly when I just blurted it out.
"The doctor said we would probably not have any more children."
She looked at me for a moment. I had been thinking about just waiting for the doctor since he was the one with the explanations and could answer any questions, but I felt like I just couldn't keep it in any longer.
"But probably isn't for sure, right? I mean, they didn't do a hysterectomy or anything, right?"
"No. No, they didn't. I honestly don't remember everything the doctor said as far as reasoning and medical mumbo jumbo, we just might not have any other children."
The thoughtful, contemplative look hadn't left her face.
"And how do you feel about that?" She asked me.
"Kind of shitty." I answered. Her face fell a little, but she didn't say anything. "I feel like it's my fault, that it's all my fault and I know that you wanted more kids…"
"You feel at fault?! It's my body, shouldn't I feel at fault?"
"Well, it's not really anyone's fault, I think these things just happen."
"You're right, they do and I don't want a possibility of maybe something in the future that may or may not happen or that we may or may not want ruin what we do have. I'm happy with the healthy baby we have now and I don't want to think about more children for a long time, so we can deal with it when we get there."
"I love you" I said as I kissed her lips.
Lilly was done eating and had been changed, but she was still crying, she hadn't really cried like this ever. I was trying to rock her when Jacob finally walked back in.
"What in the heck did you do to that baby?" He joked and snatched her right out of my arms. He's nearly as bad as Alice.
She looked even smaller in his giant hands, but he just held her to his chest and let her head rest on his shoulder. He was patting her back and cooing something to her in her ear and she quieted immediately. A small, or maybe not so small, jealous part of me hoped that she would spit up on him.
Bella just smiled at them.
"So, I guess 'Jacob' for a middle name is out?" He joked.
"I'm afraid so."
"How about Jaclyn? Or…"
"Jake, she already has-" Bella tried to tell him, but he wasn't listening and continued to talk.
"Vanessa! Her name should be Vanessa!"
"Ugh, yuck! That's a horrible name, Jake!"
No, it's not!" He defended. "We could call her Nessie!"
"That's your argument? That's even worse." I interjected and laughed.
"Jake, meet Lilly. She already has a name." Bella just smiled at him and I could tell that he had no choice, but to smile back. It didn't make me as uncomfortable as it used to.
He continued to baby talk in Lilly's ear telling her how pretty her name was and that she was beautiful like her mommy. It was true.
Jake had stayed for awhile and when he left I finally got Lilly back and was able to change her and hold her. She seemed a little disappointed that Jake was gone, but she soon fell into a peaceful sleep.
I think we all needed our rest if tomorrow was going to be as crazy as today and knowing our friends and family it would probably be worse.
I wouldn't want it any other way though, I thought as I looked up and caught Bella smiling at me. I gave her a huge smile in return.
~Elizabeth "Lilly" Faith Cullen~
6lb 15oz 21" long
I don't feel like there's too much to add.
If your name's Vanessa, I apologize. It's not really a horrible name. It just reminds Bella of the sea witch on The Little Mermaid, lol.
Please share your thoughts.