Disclaimer – I do not own anything that even remotely resembles the world of Harry Potter, that is completely, and regretfully, all of it belongs to J.K. Rowling and company. I make no money off of this fanfiction. The plot is mine.
Summary – Luna is working for the Weasley's as their test subject and when a Love Potion is on today's menu, craziness is awaiting. Not completely DH compliant. Possible OOC/AU.
A/N: I told my brother, Donovin, to give me an "odd pairing" and here's what he came up with, the story is of my doing, however. It is not my typical pairing (SS/HG or RL/HG), but I must say I had a blast writing it. No Beta, just a fun little thing I thought I'd share. To be quite honest, I don't even know why I'm posting this… so… R&R please!
Warning – 18 and over only please, to be safe. Adult situations. Implied.
Luna Lovegood was twirling her way down Diagon Alley, dressed in bright magenta robes, her light blonde hair flailing about her. She spun and twirled, passing numerous shops that were still slowly coming back to life after the second wizarding war had ended, but Luna didn't think about those things. Just happy thoughts. Whenever she got down, she would remember how much had been accomplished and that, although she was occasionally sad for those they had lost, they had gained so much more and their deaths hadn't been in vain.
Luna smiled widely as she reached her destination: Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Fred and George Weasley had started the brilliant joke shop amidst the war. She skipped through the front door, passed by many decoy detonators, pygmy puffs, skiving snack boxes, and a little of this, a little of that, to the back room of the shop.
"Morning Luna!" George called as Luna came through the curtain separating the backroom from the actual shop.
"Morning your Holiness!" she called back. They laughed.
"Blimey, it's been over a year since that happened, and you two still laugh at that?" Fred asked, but with a grin.
"Oh pipe down, Freddy, you're just jealous your battle wounds aren't as see-through as mine," George retorted.
Luna simply smiled sweetly at the twins. Although they were identical, Luna could easily tell them apart simply from the amount of wruckspruts they had floating about them when she would be wearing her glasses that her dad had made special for her. After seeing the difference there, the little things began popping up. Such as George had a hole where his ear used to be, or that Fred had an extra few freckles just below his jaw on his left side. But other than that, Fred tended to be slightly more serious than his twin, George, who laughed more often than not.
"So, Luna, ready to be our guinea pig?" George asked with a smirk.
"Oh I'd much rather be a Pickerous," she said wistfully, an easy smile coming to her lips.
"A what?" the twins asked together.
"A Pickerous. It's a tiny little animal that crawls up and down your arms and causes bumps to arise. They are quite sweet."
Fred couldn't help but smile along with George. "Well," Fred said, "how about just being our test subject? We got a few new love potions in today and we'd like to test out their strengths. Don't worry, we have the antidote ready."
Luna smiled. "But I already love you two, what would be the difference if you gave me a potion?"
George gave her an odd look. "Luna, you aren't in love with us. It would make you want to date us, to marry us, bare our children, and so forth."
"Oh," she said lightly, "I didn't realize we'd all be getting married today! How exciting! Should I owl my father to tell him I'm pregnant now or later?"
They laughed again. "Later, perhaps," said George.
"Okay," she agreed. "When are we starting?"
"Now if you'd like, get it over with, you know?" Fred grimaced.
"Wonderful!" Luna exclaimed, holding out her hand.
Fred and George looked at each other, smiling. "Okay, Luna," said George gently, "I'm putting my hair into the potion, and Fred will administer the antidote."
Fred looked at George sharply. "George, may I speak with you for a moment, alone?"
Luna looked to the ceiling. "I'm not paying attention, I swear." She began humming to herself, twirling in circles with her face still turned up.
Fred rolled his eyes and pulled George back into the main store. "I thought we agreed that I was going to –"
George cut him off. "Come on, Fred, you know how I feel about her."
Fred gave George an incredulous look. "I thought you were just messing with me."
"No," George insisted, "I wasn't. I mean, I know she's a bit off." Fred gave him the 'no shit' look, but George continued. "I don't know why, Fred, but I think I'm falling in love with her, and maybe if she can see what it's like to be in love with me, she'll want to stay that way. Do you know what I mean?"
Fred gawked at George for a few minutes before regaining his composure. "I think when you lost an ear it took out part of your brain too, but whatever strikes your fancy I guess."
"Thanks," George sighed, relieved.
"Let's get this over with," Fred mumbled.
They walked back through the curtain to find Luna in the same position they left her in and George put a hand on her arm. "Oh, look, Pickerous'!" George looked down to see goose-bumps on her arm that he had grabbed and smiled at her, looking into her large blue eyes.
Fred cleared his throat and they broke eye contact. "Okay, Georgey, a few hairs in here if you please."
George released Luna's arm reluctantly and reached up to pluck a few hairs from his head and added it to the bright pink potion. It frothed for a moment and turned into a clear potion.
"Amazing," Luna murmured, looking dazed. "I'm ready."
Fred gave George a look that said 'are you sure?' and, after getting the nod from his brother, handed the potion to Luna. She drank it quickly, smacking her lips when she was done.
"So," George asked cautiously, "how do you feel?"
Luna turned her head in what seemed to be slow motion to look at the brothers. "George," she breathed in a heavy voice that was almost not her own. George had began to smile widely but then…. "Fred," she breathed in the same voice, turning her head from George to Fred, and then back again. "My word, how much better looking could you two get?" she asked, her voice much deeper and clearer than usual.
"Excuse me?" Fred asked, the shock in his voice making it go up a few octaves.
"Oh, Freddy," she giggled in a very girly voice, "you're so gorgeous."
George choked on his own spit. "What?" he exclaimed.
"Mmmm," Luna said throatily, "Georgey you're looking mighty fine too."
"Uhm, Luna, excuse us for just a moment," George said uneasily.
"Hurry back. Please hurry back," she said, looking frightened at the thought of them leaving her for any more than two seconds.
George yanked Fred through the curtain again. "What are you playing at?" he practically yelled.
Fred's eyes widened at his brother. "What are you going on about, you quack? You saw what happened in there! How could I have done anything?"
"You could have bewitched it! Replaced my hairs with your hairs and …." Sudden realization slammed George in the gut like a bowling ball. He slammed his fist against the wall. "Oh, bloody sodding hell!"
Fred jumped at his brother's outburst. "What the hell?" he yelled.
"WE'RE IDENTICAL!" George practically screamed. "Same bloody DNA! My hair is your hair, you hair is my hair! Bloody rotting, sodding hell! How fucked can today get?"
Fred stared at his twin, utterly flabbergasted, for he had never seen George so bent out of shape before. "What do we do?"
"Give her the antidote, NOW!" George yelled. "Bloody hell, she's so sexy when she's not totally herself, but that doesn't change anything."
"Are you talking to me, or yourself, George?" Fred asked, concerned, watching George's deranged expression.
"I don't know!" he retorted a bit harshly, his hands raking into his bright red hair.
Luna peeked out from behind the curtain, twirling her hair around her finger. "Georgey, Freddy, what's taking so long?"
They whipped their heads towards her as she sauntered out to them. Next thing Fred knew, he was being pinned to the ground and a liquid was sliding down his throat. Something caught in the back of it as he tried to sit up and choked slightly.
Fred heard George screaming something when all of a sudden he was yanked to his feet, George thwaping him on the back. Fred cleared his throat and suddenly got a very warm feeling throughout his entire body.
"Luna," Fred whispered. "Luna, my love."
"What?" George exclaimed. He looked down to see a bit of bright pink liquid on the floor. "Oh no."
Before he knew what happened, he looked over as Luna squealed, jumping into Fred's open arms and kissing him soundly on the mouth. "What the hell?" George yelled.
"Oh, I have lots for you too, George," Luna breathed, ripping her lips from Fred's and grabbed him by the front of his robes for a passionate kiss, not letting Fred go.
George didn't know what came over him, but he kissed her back, all thoughts from his usually full brain, vanishing the moment her lips touched his. And what a kiss it was. Her tongue penetrated his mouth almost immediately, seemingly searching for something that was hidden. He didn't even notice who's hands were who's and where they were going, but next thing he knew, there were mouths, tongues, lips, teeth, ripping and tearing at the last bit of restraint he had.
And mayhem ensued, no one thinking of the antidotes until much later when George realized his brother lay naked on the other side of his and Luna's clothe-less bodies near the Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder.