Authors Note; Sorry for all the spelling errors and such in the previous chapter, I was a bit too eager to post the chapter and didn't double check it, this one however is double checked.. So if there's any error in this chapter, it's.. An error, lol ;)
Pardon Me If I Can't Fake It
Finding Alec, had been like looking after a needle in a haystack, impossible until you lit the haystack on fire and the only thing remaing was the needle. She had looked everywhere, starting with his home, nothing there had been touched and the only thing that calmed her down a little bit was seeing his blue towel on the floor. But then again, they were solider, they could survive without such luxury and so she had gone to every strip club, every bar, every something that made her think Alec would be there. But he wasn't.
If she only had lit the haystack in the first place. Feeling defeated, Max had taken her bike for a ride and gone to the Space Needle to clear her mind. And there he was, sitting by the edge, as if waiting for her and maybe even mockingly too. This was her spot and nothing about this place screamed Alec.
Next time she was gonna torch the haystack and to hell with the needle as well, she'd liquefy it and and drink it, do something to always keep it with her. Okay, I'm going insane! After all, the needle she'd been looking for had been Alec and she wasn't a cannibal. He was safe, for now.
She sauntered over to sit down next to him and only then did she see the bag lying next to him.
"So you're leaving?"
"That's what I said, didn't I?"
"Uhm, no.. You sang it, there's a difference."
"Yeah, well you got the message."
"Why haven't you left yet?"
"You just can't wait to get rid of me, can you?!"
"Alec, I've been looking all over for you and I find you up here? What's the deal?"
"I wanted to see the sunrise before I left, I realized I've never allowed myself to do that, ever."
"So this isn't you waiting for me …?"
"For you? Why'd I wait for you? It's not like you care about me. Hell, Max, just admit that the search you did tonight was just to make sure I didn't do anything stupid!"
"You're right and guess what? You are making something stupid!"
"I'm leaving you, aren't I? That's what you wanted all along, right?"
"You know what, just forget it. I'm going, there's always a sunrise tomorrow."
Alec stood up, but didn't move and for a moment she thought he was going to say something more, but heard him sigh and started to leave. She felt frozen. Her good mood was nowhere in sight and she couldn't help but wonder if that feeling had been fake.
"What did you mean that you 'can't fake this while you still believe'?"
She didn't hear anything and she didn't dare to look over her shoulder. She knew she was denying feelings and maybe feelings she had for him too, but too actually see him gone? She couldn't allow herself to see that and so she waited to her his bike down below speeding away. Apparently he'd parked somewhere else, as she hadn't seen it when she'd arrived. But when no sound of an engine came..
"I'm tired, Max."
Startled, Max turned around and looked at Alec. Had he even left? Had he stayed and held his breath? She was sure he'd gone, but maybe she wasn't such a good solider after all? Which is good, because she didn't want to be one either, but still.. She wanted to be able to keep track of her people, of Alec.
He sat down next to her, only closer this time. The bag was left by the broken window they used as a door to the platform. He looked conflicted, like he was trying to make up his mind.
"I took that song because it felt real, it hit a spot or what ever you wanna call it."
"Is that your answer to my question?"
"No, it's not."
"Then what is?"
"I'm tired of pretending to be something I'm not."
"Then what are you?"
"Right now? Nothing, but I want to change that, I don't wanna play games anymore, Max."
Alec was talking about pretending to be her boyfriend in front of Logan, she wasn't surprised that he was tired of it, it couldn't be fun to act as you were in a serious relationship with someone who treated him as badly as she did.
"I'm sorry, Alec. We'll just 'fake' a breakup.."
"..See that's the thing, let's just 'fake' a breakup? There's nothing to breakup!"
"Okay, now you're just confusing me."
"Then forget it, it was nice to know you, Max Guevara."
Alec got up to leave again, this time not bothering with a pause by her side, but this time Max was prepared and she stood up as well and walked with him, she wasn't sure why she wanted to give him company, but she couldn't stay up on the Needle either.
The closer to ground level they came, the thicker the tension grew and taking the stairs didn't make it that much easier, the decent was slow and each step was like a tiny stab in her feet. She wasn't sure she was going to make it all the way, it hurt to much knowing that she soon had to say goodbye to someone she cared for. Only four steps left and then a door to the outside world and he'd be gone.
Her voice surprised her just as much as him, it had only been a soft whisper. They both stopped, she was one step behind and when he turned around, their eyes were at the same height. There also weren't a lot of space between them, their chests were almost touching.
"Where will you go?"
"Anywhere, somewhere, just away from here."
Even though they were whispering, it was enough to echo, it was unnerving hearing their voices carried away so easily, given the fact how hard it was to form them in the first place. Max was truly scared and she didn't scare easy. She didn't bother hiding it for him, she wanted him to see her.
"How will you get by?"
"I'll get a job, something easy I guess."
"Where will you live?"
"As long as it's got walls, ceiling and floor, I'm good."
"What about Joshua?"
"I already talked to him, did it before Crash, he understands, doesn't like it though."
"I agree with him."
"Don't 'Max' me, I don't want you to go, okay?"
"I've already made up my mind, I have to do this."
That simple question made it look like the hardest of them all, a simple 'why' made Alec look troubled and silent and he didn't even look her in the eye, instead focused on a spot over her shoulder, something unseen but a lot more interesting than her eyes.
After what felt like five minutes, but in truth was only 30 seconds, Alec still hadn't answered, simply staring at that something behind her. A heavy sigh escaped her lips, as she did it she felt her chest press up against his for a short second, it felt weird knowing that soon he'd be gone.
No reaction came from Alec of her sigh and she wanted to cry, she was tired of losing everything and everyone. Leaning forward and resting her forehead on his shoulder, placing her hands on his hips, as if about to hug him but not daring being rejected, Max tried her best to collect her thoughts.
It didn't take a second for Alec to react this time, as his arms went around her waist and he buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply. Max raised her head and moved her arms to place them around his neck, hugging him closer. She tried her best to not let any tears fall, but it was useless. For the first time in her life, did Max feel like she had truly failed and this was it.
Pulling back a bit, she was greeted by tired eyes and a fake smile.
"Goodbye-hug, Max? Didn't think you had it in you."
So he was trying to make it easier with jokes? Well tough luck, she was tired of joking!
"Stay, Alec, please."
There was that difficult question again, only this time she had an answer, unlike him.
"I need you, Alec."
"You've got Logan."
"I have no one."
"You've got Original Cindy."
"She's my best friend and sister."
"You've got Joshua."
"And I love him, but none of them are you and I need you"
They were still hugging each other, as if it was normal to them to stand like this in a staircase.
"Max, you're just having a small panic attack. You'll survive without me, hell it'll be better to survive with out me."
"Don't say that."
"But it's true, right?"
"It used to be true, but not anymore and you know I'm right."
At this, Alec tried to pull away completely, but Max wouldn't release him. Even if he could've escaped with out a problem, Alec didn't bother and instead let her pull him closer again.
"I'd go crazy without you around, you're the only one who understands everything I've been through and you've been through worse. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch to you, but.. It's who I am. I can't change, not that much."
"I wouldn't want you to change, Maxie."
"Don't call me that."
"I'll always call you that, so get used to it."
"Does that mean you're staying?"
"Listen, I can't stay and I'm sorry for putting you in this position.."
"I can't, it's not that simple."
"Then make it simple!"
"You want me to make it simple for you, so that I can stay?"
"Are you sure?"
"Why wouldn't I be? Just make everything more simple for you, I'll help if I have to."
And how cliché was it really? She was actually shocked when she felt him kiss him and seeing as how long ago she even had a kiss, she eagerly returned it, for a while anyway. Pushing him away, she tried her best to look pissed off, but by the look on Alec's face, she was failing, but she didn't care.
"What the hell was that for?!"
"You wanted me to make things simple, so I did."
"By kissing me?"
"Are you retarded or something? I have feelings for you!"
"Yeah, well.. Until you have anything better to say, do you mind if I kiss you again?"
Not waiting for a reply, Alec kissed her again, this time there was a hint of panic behind it, as if he thought that once Max came back to her senses, she'd push him away and tell him to get the hell out of sight, but she was kissing him back, pulling him closer and running her fingers through his hair.
And just like that, Max good mood had returned again, only ten times stronger and even though Alec had sung a different song then the one Normal had requested, he knew he wouldn't get fired. Not that he was thinking about that, finally having Max in his arms, like he had wanted for so long.
Just when things started to get really heated, Max pulled away, making Alec moan in protest.
"Nothing, lets just go back up and watch that sunrise and then go home and sleep."
Alec smirked, he hadn't even thought about the sunrise, but the idea of watching it with Max sounded, well, nice.
"We sleep in my bed, it's bigger."
Authors Note; So.. Cheesy ending maybe? ;) And here's the usual Thank-you-for-reviewing-list! You're the best! And so.. Thanks you; "", "AlecDeanFan", "bob0045", "blubblubblubblub", "Mrs Max McDowell", "diesdi"