The Greatest "Twilight Princess" Fanfiction in the History of Ever. by Jippersss.

Legend of Zelda copyright Nintendo. Crappy ideas copyright YOU. ohwut.

"Link, I... See you later, bitch~" Midna declared cooly, throwing a peace sign to both Link and Zelda, before shattering the Mirror and ultimately fucking every MidLinker in the universe up the ass. Said MidLinkers baaw'd in responce, claiming to then hate and despice "Twilight Princess" for all of eternity... but still playing the game 50-bajillion-times over and then writing crappy fanfiction about it. Hey... that sounds familiar...

Zelink fans cheered in glee as Link stood upon the Mirrors ashes, awe struck. "What the french toast? That fool totally played me over. Ahh, Midna! You crazy bitch!" he laughed good naturedly, shaking his first in the air, before crying like the little pink loving girl he was.

The neglected Princess Zelda placed a regal hand upon his shoulder. "Don't be sad, Link. Midna did what she thought was best, blah blah. I would have done the same thing ("The Leaving-Your-Ass part, I mean.") blah blah. There are, like, plenty of other fish in the sea."

Link faced her then, anger reflected in his totally beast-like blue contacts---I mean, eyes. "What the hell! Where could I possibly find another girl who has a game named after them, along with a smokin' hot body, aaaaand a high status? Damn it ZELDA, you're not my TWILIGHT PRINCESS!"

Zelda dimly began to look at her elegantly manicured nails, unamused. "Well, Link. I suppose you could, like, I dunno... look right in front of you!!"

Link did the exact opposite: looking right over her. "Epona?" he asked, as said horse was nibbling on some grass (she looked rather attractive, Link noted, with her sexy horse ass up in the air like---bad thoughts, baaaad thoughtsss.). "Well... I guess we could---"

"Screw it, Link. Get the fuck outta' here."




"Damn... I wonder when Link's gunna get back..." Ilia mumbled to herself, fiddling with a few various items. "...I'm getting pretty tired of looking through all of his crap..." Just then, she heard the sound of horse hooves pounding against the ground. As the steps grew nearer, Ilia sat up, casually tossing a book titled "LINKS PRECIOUS CHILDHOOD MEMORIES-DO NOT BURN (THAT MEANS YOU, ILIA)" into a fire and dusting off her skirt as she exited Links tree house.

(AN: ohemgee, and they say he's not an elf~~lulz. What kind of self respecting, pointy eared person would build their house in a tree? lululzlulzlulz. What trade did his parents take part in? Cookie baking? Shoe making? It's as if he's trying to set himself up for a lifetime of failure...)