Samurai: What's this?「侍は家を変えて。」 "Samurai wa ie o kaete." As for the samurai, please amend the house.
Brian: It... It says, "Samurai, go home," sir.
Samurai: No it doesn't! What kind of object is "home" when you go there?
Brian: Positional!
Samurai: But you marked it with the particle を'o.' What kind of object does that make it?
Brian: Direct object!
Samurai: So, what particle should you use instead?
Brian: 'e!' え
Samurai (Holds his sword against Brian's throat): Wrong! What hiragana syllable sounds like 'e' only when it is used as a particle?
Brian: 'he!' へ
Samurai: Now, what's Japanese for "go home?"
Brian: かえる kaeru!
Samurai: And what's Japanese for "amend?"
Brian: Um, it's also かえるkaeru.
Samurai: So they sound the same, but they are written differently in kanji. How does "go home" look in kanji?
(Brian crosses out 変 and writes 帰)
Samurai: But え 'e' is part of the reading for 帰る 'kaeru.' Right now your message says かええて 'kaeete'
Brian: Oops! (crosses out え 'e' in 帰えて)
Samurai: But 変える and 帰る are only pronounced the same in their dictionary forms; not in the imperative.
Brian: Right. (inserts small っ 'tsu' before て 'te')
Samurai: Except that if you're telling us to go home, you intend to be rude, do you not?
Brian: Um, yes sir.
Samurai: So what imperative form is ruder than 帰って kaette?
Brian: 帰れ kaere. (crosses out って 'tte' and writes れ 're')
Samurai: Now, whom are you addressing?
Brian: You and the other samurai!
Samurai: But 「侍は」 "samurai wa" does not indicate that you are addressing us. It only indicates that we are the topic of the sentance.
Brian: Right! (crosses out 侍は at the beginning, changes the period at the end 「。」 to a comma 「、」 and adds 「侍。」 The message now says 「家へ帰れ、侍。」 "ie e kaere, samurai.")
Samurai: Excellent. Now, write it out a hundred times. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your head off.
Brian: Yes, sir.