Disclaimer: I do not own Shugo Chara!
Kuukai hated it. More than anything. He didn't want to be in this prison. Not at all. Not alone and isolated from the world. With his ragged, dark green clothes, he wanted freedom. Here he was picking up garbage outside the prison with the clean cut grass, and freedom was just beyond that gate. That wired gate. It was so close. And yet, so far away at the same time.
Freedom. Just one time, Kuukai would like to walk out those gates. Just climb out and never return to this wretched place ever again. But that's all Kuukai could do. Daydream about freedom. There was nothing more he could do. He was stuck. And this was just the same old, same old day. Walking towards the barred fence, Kuukai bit his lower lip.
Just one taste of freedom, just one. That's all Kuukai asked for. If he could just taste it for a second...
"Sorry I'm late!" someone cried. In Kuukai's view, he saw long strands of purple hair running towards the fence. She wore a white garden hat with a pink ribbon tied to the side. And a simple white, clean dress with a pink scarf around her along with flats. Looking at her, Kuukai grinned.
She finally came.
His heart thumping, Kuukai grabbed the paper plane letter from his pocket he had tried to hide from guards. Looking over the fence, Kuukai stepped back and threw the plane over the fence. Go fly! Kuukai told it. Sitting on the grass, Kuukai watched the paper plane fly over the fence and land perfectly in the girls grasp. How envious. Kuukai wished to be that letter flying through the air. Or one of the birds he saw from time to time. But looking at the girl smile from across the fence because of the letter. That was enough for Kuukai. He found someone to communicate with. Her sweet smile was enough.
Still, Kuukai was deprived of freedom. When he looked at the girl, he couldn't help but feel dirty. There was a gap between them. A very large gap.
And yet, Kuukai saw the girl grab a letter from her pocket, and fly over the fence in the shape of a plane. Kuukai looked over at the fence.
This was his way. This was Kuukai's way of becoming free. He could become free. Kuukai always told himself that whenever they exchanged letters. Whenever their letters flew over the fence, Kuukai could become free too.
Lie. It was a lie. And Kuukai knew that. But looking at the girl, if she could just stay by his side, and even if she was lying, Kuukai believed that all her lies could become truth. That was all Kuukai needed. Was for that girl dressed in white to stay by his side. It was enough. It could always be enough. As long as she visited him everyday, it was enough for Kuukai. Catching the letter, Kuukai opened it and couldn't contain the joy he felt. Looking up to say something, he saw her turn away. Walking away from him.
It was time already. She had to leave.
Please...come over here and talk with me... Kuukai thought to himself. But that would never convey his feelings. Even so, as Kuukai looked at the girl turn away, there was always tomorrow. She was Kuukai's small happiness.
Getting called back in, Kuukai went inside his cell and read all her letters all over again. Countless times had he done this. And he never got tired. Her letter brang Kuukai joy. Joy he had never felt from being trapped in this dirty prison. Holding all those paper airplanes, Kuukai closed his eyes and smiled. As long as he could exchanges letters with this girl, it was enough.
Enough for this prisoner.
Some month, some day later, Kuukai did as he always did. He was outside in the sun, picking up garbage. Waiting for her as always. These days, Kuukai was always content and happy. Kuukai looked over at the fence. Hoping he could see that girl again. Or at least, any sign of her. He enjoyed all those letters they shared. A warm and fuzzy feeling would surround him. Smiling, Kuukai looked up at the girl again.
Wearing the same hat and dress Kuukai adored, he sighed. A warm bug ate out through him. He ran towards the fence that divided them. "Yo!" he said happily to the girl.
His eyes watched her closely. Noticing the length of her hair that blew through the wind. Her ivory clutching the letter closely. Her head slowly coming up to face him. Kuukai watched as his small happiness threw her letter over the fence. Running over to catch it, Kuukai eagerly opened the letter and skimmed through it. Curiously, his green eyes darted their way towards the girl.
This letter. It was like she was saying good bye.
Kuukai was afraid of that. She was the only happiness in his life. She couldn't just, go away. Then, Kuukai didn't want to think about it. He needed her.
"W-wait!" Kuukai said in panic as she began to walk away. His heart pounded in fear. If she was gone...
Then so was Kuukai's freedom.
Kuukai saw her eyes. They looked pale. Noticing this, the girl turned away and started walking away. Kuukai's freedom started to walk away. He pressed his fingers against the gate as hard as he could. Not caring for the blood that was streaming down his hand. "W-wait!" Kuukai shouted. More afraid than before.
The girl stopped in her tracks. Having her attention, Kuukai shouted words he felt that his heart needed to be said.
"No!" she shouted. Kuukai finished his sentence as he saw the girl run off.
It hurted. Kuukai hurted. "G-good bye." Kuukai cried.
Day after day, Kuukai had no idea pain could hurt this much. Ever since she left, Kuukai had been suffering everyday. Even if he was alive, he felt more dead. Kuukai had never cried this much. If only that girl who's name Kuukai didn't even know had stayed by his side. He knew he could smile. He knew he could be free. Even if it was all a lie.
With her letter that they had flown to eachother, Kuukai had felt like he had won a happy future. Even if it was false. Staring at the ceiling blankly, Kuukai continued to cry. No matter what, he couldn't call her. Couldn't follow her. Couldn't get out of this prison. He was stuck. Kuukai couldn't get out. He never would've. Holding onto her letters, Kuukai had kept every single one. These papers were his only happiness. As long as he had them, he would be okay, right?
"Give me that!" One of the guards yelled, snatching one of Kuukai's letters away from him. Kuukai looked up at the person frantically as he continued to read the letters.
"N-no!" Kuukai said as he began to sit up. Only to be held back down by other guards. His heart pounded inside his chest loudly as he continued to see the guard read the letter. "D-don't do anything to it!" Kuukai pleaded. Hoping that the guard would listen to his plea.
The guard looked down at Kuukai with vicious and uncaring violet eyes.
Tearing the letter to shreds.
Kuukai's eyes widened in horror as the paper shreds fell down onto the floor. His mind literally remembered the girl from across the fence. Her dazzling smile. Looking at the paper shreds, part of Kuukai ripped. That guard had just ripped out a tiny piece of Kuukai's happiness. That girls kind words was forgotten.
Yelling in anger, Kuukai got up and rid the guards from holding him down to punch the taller guard who had ripped the letter. "WHY!?" Kuukai shouted. "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!? I NEEDED THAT LETTER! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" Kuukai hollered. Tears rolled down his cheeks. "HER KIND WORDS MENT EVERYTHING TO ME! I LOVED HER!" Kuukai added. "GIVE ME BACK THAT LETTER SHE GAVE ME!" Kuukai cried in pain. Never had his heart hurted this much. Guards grabbed Kuukai and shoved him inside the 'cell.' "NO!" Kuukai shouted as he banged on the door. More tears rolled down his cheeks. "I NEED HER LETTERS!" Kuukai continued his endless yelling. "THEY MEAN EVERYTHING TO ME!!!" From outside, Kuukai only heard laughter's. The guards were mocking him. Taking all that he held dear and shoving it in his face. Kuukai had never felt more like a stone.
He knew this cell well. It was the Gas Cell. Looking around at all the corpses, Kuukai felt sick. His green eyes glanced back at that locked silver door, standing up, Kuukai tried opening it. Even knowing that it was futile. Still, in his last few moments, he wanted to see her.
Kuukai missed that girl.
More than anything in the world.
And now there was nothing here for him. His heart as hard as stone, Kuukai had no more regrets in this world. For she was gone. Kuukai started coughing as he saw a mist if green and yellow air surround him. It was the poisonous gas. Kuukai coughed some more. It smelled so sickening. Kuukai's nose couldn't stand it. Still, in his last few moments, Kuukai sobbed.
All he wanted was to read one more of her letters. Even though he was pathetic, he had kept every single one. All of it.
"Cough! Cough!" Kuukai slide to the floor as his eye fluttered shut. He imagined a dark grass field filled with weeds. And in all those weeds was a little blossoming flower. It was that girl.
If only those days could return.
Even if they both lived in different worlds, Kuukai wanted to reach out to that girl.
Please, God. Kuukai pleaded. If this is my last chance, let me see her, one more time. In the small and dark room Kuukai was held in, he screamed. His voice reverberated through the room. With Kuukai's breath and heart in pain, one thought crossed his mind.
At least....I wanted to know her name.
I know, it kinda' sucks and is confusing. I wanted to make this a chapter, but I got lazy. I know, I"m horrible. But I'm writing the next chapter. I know I could have made this a great CHAPTER fic, but I just didn't feel like it. Sorry. Hobey-ho cheeky monkeys.