Title:The NCIS Commandments
Theme/Topic: The Official Commandments given to all new Agents.
Rating: Eh. Pretty much teen or below. There isn't anything amazing.
Characters: Gibbs mostly, with mentions the team.
Warnings/Spoilers: Mentions of Ziva and Morrow, but other than that…Non, really.
Word Count: 508 words.
Time: Two days to write it out; and fit them all together. They've been appearing to me in dreams, recently….
Summary: Thy Commandments are clear. Thy Gibbs be thy Leader. Learn these Commandments and then thou shalt be ready to become a Team Member.
Dedication: …Just to all who love NCIS.
A/N: Gibbs. God? Hmm…. If Gibbs is God, he needs Commandments. (And now all I can think of is Gibbs as God, and Tony as Jesus, Ziva as Mary and McGee as the first disciple, Peter. I am so going to hell now)
Distribution: No, you can't have it. It is mine and if you take it without my permission then it is considered plagarism and I believe that is against the law. Ask me and I may consider it.
The NCIS Commandments
Director be they Boss on paperwork. But Gibbs be thy Boss in the field. Confirm thy orders and refer thyself to Gibbs in all matters that be less than national security. If thy issue involve exploding things, and/or national security, still check with Our Leader, Gibbs. First.
2. Thou shalt obey every order; that Gibbs gives to thee. As his Agents, thou art His, and He shall denote thy roles and objectives. Thou shalt not disobey even when thou are close to Death. Thy only reason why thou shalt disobey Our Leader, is because Gibbs is dead or missing; when this time be nigh thou shalt defer Leadership to Senior Field Agent; Dinozzo.
3. Thou shalt not speak Jargon to thy Leader. Thou shalt speak Plain English or thou shalt be smited by a mighty Gibbs' Headslap. Thy Gibbs is a Marine. Not an MIT graduate.
4. Thou shalt not Deny thy Gibbs' existence nor take his name in vain. Thy Leader is a Gibbs, of greater deeds and substance than thee.
5. Bring thy Gibbs regular offerings of coffee; beer and pizza. Thy Leader is also worthy of offerings of Jack Daniels; bourbon, and completed reports. Thy Gibbs deserves it. You Bring It.
6. The Team is thus: Gibbs, Tony, Ziva and McGee. Thy Allies in the wings include Ducky, Abby and the Switzerland neutral Jimmy. End of. Director? He's Antarctica for all Gibbs thinks of him – necessary but essentially a giant pain in everyone's ass when it comes to actually getting any thing done.
7. Thou hast problems with Thy Gibbs, you taketh it up with Gibbs. Thou still hast problems with Gibbs, here be a transfer form, resignation letter and a cardboard box for thy belongings (and your head) before you go face to face with Gibbs – but you'll have to provide your own pen.
NB: Commandment #8 only refers to people outside the Team or Allies. The Team will get Gibbs possibly making an effort to change the issue beyond a "You got a problem?"
8. Tony is the walking lightning for the Team. He is the one who does the 'Life-Threatening Injuries and Illnesses' (thou livest in fearful memory of the Plague). We do not tempt Fate when he is not around, and when he is in Hospital, we bring him gifts of food, entertainment and Abby-Time. Fifty dollars about three times a year is enough to ward off the bad luck that Tony diverts from us.
9. That Second B is for Bastard. If thou does not bring Thy Gibbs coffee, thou will see why it is called thus.
10. When thou have to break the rules, break 'em and apologies later. Thou can repair the busted door, thou can't resurrect the dead. Gibbs's rules be there for a reason and should thou hast a dispute with them, remember that thou art a puny LEO/FBI agent/gtunt that got Lucky/Transfer from a place with a long name. Gibbs? Is a Marine.
Marine? Trumps you. Everytime. And he's Gibbs.
So don't even try.