A.N: ... ... ... SURPRISE!
Yeah. Lol. Um... um... this isn't multichaptered! *Ducks* Uh... please don't hurt me. Lol. Hopefully I don't get scolded for this... but I've been working on this for awhile. It was kind of my 'if you can't think of anything else for your other stories, work on this!' project. And my, oh my, did I work on it. ^.^ It rivals "Fall For You" in being my longest one-shot written, but since I broke up FFY into 3 parts, I don't know if it can still count as a one-shot... ... ... So, here's the winner! XDI just couldn't find a suitable way to divvy this up without it becoming choppy... yeah. This one-shot is definitely different. A/U, different aspects of character's personalities being explored, vignette-style scene breaks, random time-lines along with a vaguely confusing storyline if you don't read it all the way through-
Whoever dares read this story has been forewarned. Yays. Lol.
This was, again, inspired by one of my favorite movies in all time, but I doubt anyone will be able to guess which one since this story's plot has nothing to do with the storyline of the movie... blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I like to yammer on. ^.^ Thinking about it now, though, I think I'll make this into a challenge, actually. The first person who can actually guess which movie I'm talking about after reading this story (there ARE obscure references to the movie if you know where to look for them!) will get a one-shot/mini-story dedicated to them in response. I don't know if that'll motivate anybody to look, though... LOL.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note, if you can't tell. CAN'T YOU? CAN'T YOU TELL? Why even wonder?! *sniffle* Honestly... pour the salt over the wound already... *tear*
Anyways, on with the fic! ((And if you can tell me what you think about it afterwards, all the better! XD))
*Side Note Added Sept. 22, 2009: After looking through my little one-shot of wonders, I've decided rather spontaneously on my part (as I'm prone to being, if you can't tell, darlings) that this fic would definitely benefit from a bit of a makeover. Splitting this up, along with some add-age and some good ol' editing, I think, would make this easier to read for a lot of people. That, and I think I can definitely expand this. ^.^ Hopefully you'll guys will take to this re-vamped version as well as you did the original, and for those of you who may just have stumbled upon it, then cookies for you! Hope you enjoy! XD I'm gonna keep the original's A/N, just so I can remind myself just how much of a douche I can be to myself with my half-assed promises...
"I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all."
Title: Your Eyes, Shining
One: Like Sweet Lullabies and Old Goodbyes
(It was your eyes that did it… shining so brightly against the dull aftermath of what life had to offer in a span of milliseconds.)
It was like wading through thick waters, yet not being able to pull yourself out at all.
Choking you; killing you-
But still feeling every bit alive as every sensation became magnified under the cloak of heavy, heavy darkness.
This pit would consume him if he kept pulling himself back under.
But he refused to let go-
L sighed as he tore off his hat from the top of his head, looking a bit lost as he stared around at the dismal surroundings of the old train station he had been inhabiting for the last hour and a half. Dark blue eyes squinted as the light breeze of the dying ends of autumn crept around his ears, the skin tinted a bright red against his already milky-white complexion.
'Today of all days I just had to be late…' Shoving his gloveless hands into his short trench's pockets, the jean-clad misanthrope barely snarled as he turned his head slightly and mistakenly caught another man's flighty gaze on a whim.
Caramel-brown eyes widened as L blinked in astonishment, a wave of immediate familiarity striking at him when he least expected it. The attractive stranger suddenly grinned after a second of continued staring, his eyes twinkling with unbridled delight as the gorgeous man then brought his hand up to wave over at him.
L hesitantly returned the wave before the glass-shattering whistle of a train (his train) broke his concentration and whipped his ticket right out, almost immediately forgetting about the waving young man with the gorgeous smile as he got right on board. L walked with a slight slump as he re-adjusted the knapsack slung across his waist, not noticing as the same boy he had been admiring just seconds before ran after him with a ticket of his own held tightly in his left hand, that smile only stretching as he boarded the same train as the person before him…
Bits and pieces...
All he remembered were bits and pieces.
Never full fragments.
Yet still, in the farthest reaches of his mind, there was something waiting to be uncovered.
What could it be that haunted him so...?
Before he could he even seek his answer-
The Darkness ensnared him within its arms once more.
The dark-haired writer's hand paused in its fervent scribbles as a smooth tenor voice broke its smooth flow, the beautiful stranger's satisfaction at the concentration ebbing away from the man who had been writing palpable within the air. Ignoring the tensing atmosphere, the outsider slung over the chair in front of L continued to speak without any acknowledgement whatsoever.
Feeling both uncomfortable and slightly agitated all at once, navy-blue eyes glanced up, shaded by stringent lashes and sloppy fringe which was immediately brushed away by ink-stained fingers.
A young man with light brown hair and an easy going smile sat propped up by the train's reclining seat as he laid his arms down on the top of the slopping material and propped his head on his hands. A wooly red scarf peeked in from underneath his chin, the earthy colors of both the seat and the man's complexion drowned out by the deadened scenery the small car had to offer, even as the smile set upon his face continued to brighten with each passing second.
"I just said hi is all. Nothing life changing, if that was something you were wondering. Looked like you were deep in thought, or something." The man smile became all the wider if possible.
"H-hello then..." Fidgeting with the tiny notebook that lay slanted on his lap with his now shaky fingers, the paler of the two ducked his head down and pulled his legs closer to his person, not sure what it was he should say to the semi-unwelcome disruption of his writing. "Um... is there... something that you need?"
"Nope." Ducking behind the chair's small recline only to pop back up on the other side just a second later, a slim figure dressed in a chocolate brown pea coat along with light blue jeans hoisted themselves into the seat next to the anxiety-ridden person he had just barely met and gave him another dazzling smile. "I saw you at the train station. I waved, remember?"
"... I... guess?"
"What's your name?" Without giving any further explanation on why he had waved or why he had even invaded his personal space, the dark-haired man with ink stains covering his fingers and palms hesitated for a moment, the slightest bit intrigued.
"L." Dark lashes lowered as L's cheeks began to flush without his consent, leaving splotches of red to radiate against the pale white complexion of his skin. "And no jokes about my name, please. I didn't pick it, my parents did."
"Wait, you mean like the author?" The boy ignored the strained attempt at comedy, seeming all the more excited as L meekly nodded in answer to his question. At the tell-tale crimson-red staining his face, L sat back wondering if there was any way to escape the doom that was his career. "I've heard about your books, though I've never read any myself! Some crazy murder-mystery tragedies, right?"
"Uh… yeah." L wondered why he was so disappointed that this boy had never read any of his books. "So, may I ask who I am speaking with?"
"Sure! Though I'll have to ask that you don't make any jokes about my own name as well."
Milk-chocolate brown eyes narrowed as L's opaque gaze widened with each passing second.
"Li-Really?" Rolling his eyes, Light made a flamboyant gesture with his hands as he attempted to cover his still-born smile. "Laugh at my name, and I'll laugh at yours, girly-man."
"Our parents must have been related, or best friends to have cursed us both with horrible names, then." L just about melted as the buttery laughter that erupted beside him warmed his insides to the core, alighting his hands with the comfort that he had neglected to give them in forgetting his gloves. "It's strange to say, but I feel as if we've met each other before today."
"Maybe, maybe not, right? Who really knows…" Poking the shaky-smiled passenger beside him, Light swung his feet forward as he drooped down into the chair. "Soooo... now we're fully introduced, right? Mind telling me what you are writing about?"
"... ... I don't know about that." L admitted to the man, the smile on his face becoming all the more sincere. Leaning in only a bit (he was not nearly as bold as the flippant brunette beside him was), the dark-haired author squinted his eyes as he gave Raito a slightly more thorough stare. "Are you sure we've never met before?"
"Pos-itive." Raito began to try to peek over his shoulder, only to be met with black leathery cloth and pale skin. "Aw... can't I just take a quick glance?"
"I won't judge!"
"I'm a really good critic!"
"I promise not to bi-te..."
"Here." The blush on L's face intensified as the man gave the same silky laugh as before, shoving the notebook into his hands in a rather unfit flurry of crimson gloves and fingers. "Just don't-"
"Laugh?" Raito flicked the page and ended on a dry stance, his hazel-brown eyes solely concentrating on the words in front of them. "I'll try."
Once upon a time, there was a boy.
He was a very smart boy, and even at the tender age of four, everyone seemed to admire his genius in all its forms. Though much to the boy's chagrin, his intelligence came at a price.
His parents, though once loving, had passed away at a very young age, leaving him orphaned and alone.
At first, the boy had been lonely, going from orphanage to orphanage on account of his intelligence and blunt nature.
He wasn't like the other good little children, they would say, who did as they were told with no questions asked. How did he expect to be adopted and taken into a good home if he couldn't even behave like a normal child?
The boy did not know, and frankly, did not care.
He knew he was different, and though spurned, was indifferent to the hostile glances others threw his way. Reading became his escape and puzzles were his best friend.
The boy did not become attached to anyone.
The boy did not speak unless spoken to.
He was like a statue, only moving when told to.
Yet, people found reasons to hate him regardless.
"He's so weird looking!"
"He never talks to anybody… not that they would want him to! He's so creepy!"
"All he does is reads his stupid books and stares at a bunch of papers all day!"
"He's never going to be anyone worth knowing…"
The boy was not hurt by the comments, as others might have been, but wondered what it was about him that made him so despicable.
It haunted him day after day, even more than the actual comments. Why did others seem to hold such a grudge against him when he did nothing to incite their wrath?
What could it be about his solitary being that provoked nothing but… hate?
It became a new puzzle.
Something to obsess over as the years stacked themselves up one by one, flying by in what seemed like seconds at a time. The boy focused all of his energy into himself, so that everything else didn't seem so black and white, or good and evil, but… different none the less.
He was the gray spot in between that no one wanted to comprehend.
Until one day, the boy's carefully constructed world came crashing down…
And he was forced to face the one thing he had always avoided in his eleven years of life-
"That's..." Raito's frown seemed to be as attractive as his smile, though slightly less so if only because it made L so poignant to see. "I don't know if I want to say it was just plain sad or insightful. Kids really are pretty cruel, especially when they don't realize otherwise…. and here I thought I'd read something close to a happy story with the way you were guarding the darn notebook."
"Yeah..." L shifted awkwardly within his seat as the train's motion nearly threw him off the chair and onto the dirty floor. "Do I really look like that kind of writer? A secret wannabe happy-story kind of guy?"
"No." Raito answered unapologetically, still staring down at the page opened in front of him. "But you look like you really, really wanna be."
'I do. I really, really do.' A voice whispered into L's ear, sounding strangely like his own voice.
"Were you raised in an orphanage?" The boy bluntly asked without reservation, still holding onto L's notebook as if his life depended on it.
"That obvious?" The writer deadpanned as Light gave him a side-ways glance out of the corner of his eye, the bright color of the scarf bringing out the shade of his unblemished skin and bright mocha-brown eyes.
"It might've been short," Light murmured smoothly, all but whispering the words into his companion's still-red ears, "but the emotions in it just seem too real to be faked, is all."
"Well, it's not at all… relevant, anyway." Plucking the notebook out of the man's hands, L laid the thick piece of binding against his coat-clad stomach and glanced out the window, not noticing the saddened look twisting within Raito's caramel-colored eyes. "I don't usually let people read what I write in my personal time."
"Really? Then why write it if no one's ever going to read it?"
"Just because." L slowly brushed his fingers against Light's own hand as he pulled the journal out from under his grip, relishing in the small bit of contact. "Is that wrong?"
Light's lingering smile and mysteriously troubled gaze haunted L for the rest of the train ride, making him put away his pen and stroke the outward cover of the notebook, not sure why he felt like he had just missed something extremely…
He didn't want to be here anymore.
But what could he do?
Was all he knew now.
"Why, why, why, why the fuck would he do this to me?!"
"L, calm the fuck down-"
"Calm down?!" L Lawliet nearly threw the stress ball he had been cradling within his tightened fist at his blonde friend just as the younger boy ducked behind the couch. "My boyfriend went and moved himself out of our house without me even noticing and has left the fucking country for who knows how the hell long and you want me to calm down?! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE COULD BE OR IF HE'S EVEN SAFE, MIHAEL! SO DON'T MIND ME, IF I'M A LITTLE OVER THE EDGE!"
"You've always known that Light was the impulsive type!" Mihael almost squealed as the ball flew over his head, missing it by three centimeters. "I'm sure he's… fine?"
"Fine? Fine would be if he was here, with me." Waving the letter over his head, L kicked the chair next to him, not even flinching as it folded over the table and clashed onto the floor. "Don't tell me he's FINE when I'm ABOUT TO GO OUT OF MY MIND!"
"Pump your breaks, kiddo!"
"Why would he leave me, Mihael?" L seemed to be breaking, if not showing so outwardly. "Was I so terrible to him?"
"Of course not! You were… you were… well…" Backing away from the unraveling writer before he threw another random object at his head, Mihael threw up his hands and sweat dropped. "You just haven't really haven't been all that… there, lately."
"There? There?!" L threw himself down at the stairs, head lying down on the wall as he covered his face with his arm. "I haven't been all there?! I've been doing all that I could to finish my book just so that we could, we could-You know what?! I don't have to explain myself to you!"
"You're right." Mihael quietly agreed, shushing the redhead that had just entered the room with a speculative look scribbled all over his face. "You don't. But don't you think you should have at least explained it to Light? You know how he is, L. Impulsive, reckless, spontaneous, stubborn... huh. No wonder we get along so well."
"We know you're hurt but… maybe this is for the best, right? You've always said that writing comes first for you… so… here you go."
"That's not-my writing was… is that why he left? Please, just… was I really that fucking horrible?"
Mail and Mihael were quiet as L dropped onto the floor and held his head within his hands, trying to at least keep some semblance of his being together.
'He's gone… He's really, really gone…'
And what was worse…
He didn't even get a chance to say goodbye.
It was almost too much to stand.
What was worse-
For some reason he could not fathom, he didn't want to leave it.
What was it that tied him to this place…?
(It was the happiness glowing within you… so overwhelming against the dead misery I secretly held inside.)
(It was the happiness glowing within you… so overwhelming against the dead misery I secretly held inside.)