Author's Notes: Howdy people. This was my first bella/jasper fic and I hope you like it, I am now going over it and giving it a major renovation! I'm rewriting it hopefully for the better and with the help of my beta JenJenSon there should be a lot less mistakes! Some chapters will be pretty much the same others will be entirely different so please bare with me.
Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, I don't own the characters, I make now money from writing this, it's a damn shame isn't it? The lyrics are random lyrics from Savage Garden's – Crash and Burn.
~When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you~
It was mid afternoon when I drove the familiar track to the Cullen's house. I didn't know why I was heading this way though...I knew they weren't there. I had just suddenly got the urge to drive here and so I did. I missed them all so much. I had driven to the house a few times in the past couple of months. It was the only time I had left my room and sometimes I snuck out so Charlie wouldn't even know.
I had originally come here to look inside, whether it was empty or not I wanted to go to Edward's room and hide in there, if only to try and hold onto a piece of him, of any of them. He may have taken every bit of himself from my house and my room, and they could have taken everything from their house but he couldn't remove their whole house.
Well, actually I had no doubt that they probably could but they wouldn't have, firstly it would raise too much suspicion and secondly they did plan on returning one day. Just in at least a century's time when no one would remember them. That thought hurt. I wondered what other last names they used when they weren't here. What stories they came up with...were they always a family like that or did they swap around?
~When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore~
I walked towards the house. Every time I came here I got closer but I had still never gone in. I just couldn't bear to see it all empty instead of full of life like I remembered but at the same time I longed to see something, anything that reminded me of them. That's why I came here time and time again... Only this time something caught my eye. I looked at my feet. There was blood. It seemed to be coming from deeper in the trees. Not even much blood, but it was fresh. It could smell it when I bent down to look at it.
To anyone else this could have been anything, but I knew different. With the determination I had lacked before I walked up the steps to the front door. It was unlocked. Surely...surely if they were all gone they would have locked it. I hesitated before opening the door and stepping inside.
My breath caught in my throat as I took in the site around me; the house was still full of furniture. I noticed a few things missing and assumed they had packed their personal belongings and left the furniture for when they returned. It occurred to me later that for all I knew it could have been Laurent or Victoria sneaking around here but at the time I didn't care.
It was then I noticed the figure staring at me from the staircase. I froze on the spot. I had been right someone had stayed.
Of course it was slightly stupid of me to walk into the house thinking there was a vampire in there, of course they would have heard me, smelt me straight away.
I simply stared up at him for a while, taking in his perfect pale skin, messy blonde hair and that familiar look of pain in his eyes. He looked completely haunted.
"Jasper?" I asked nervously. His eyes bore into mine and my nerves got worse. Then I felt a wave of calm. I knew it was Jasper and I blushed slightly. "Thanks..." He shrugged in response. Why wasn't he saying anything? He didn't look thirsty. Right now I was happy to see any of them. I walked quickly up the stairs towards him. He still didn't move and still didn't speak. Even when I was right in front of him he remained silent and statuesque.
I didn't care if he was dangerous and I didn't care if he had wanted to bite me the terrible day. I stepped forward quickly and wrapped my arms around him. He tensed but still didn't move.
"Jasper?" I asked again.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, finally speaking. I looked up at him but didn't let go. He didn't make me. I started to feel a little uncomfortable though...perhaps he was mad at me, I hadn't even thought about that when I launched myself at him.
"I was going to ask you that." I replied shyly. He pulled away from me but he didn't look mad he looked...amused. It was a relief to see his amusement taking the edge off of that haunted look in his eyes.
"It's my house." He laughed. "What's your excuse?"
"I...come here sometimes. It reminds me of you all." I admitted shyly, I felt colour beginning to strain my cheeks at the admission. "I've never been inside before I never felt the need...until I saw the blood outside."
"You knew I was in here and you still came in?" he asked somewhat shocked. Yes, point out the obvious flaw in my brain, that part of my brain that seems to completely ignore the fact I may be walking straight into danger.
"Well...I didn't know it was you." I replied, his face suddenly darkened, shutting emotions off. "I didn't really think or care which one of you it was. I just missed you, all of you." Jasper looked at me looking unsure. "Why are you here?"
"Isn't it obvious?" he snorted, turning his head from me and severing eye contact. "They left me here! They didn't want me anymore!"
"They didn't want you?" I asked. "I don't understand I thought you all left because of me..."
~ I know you feel, like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief, and people can be so cold~
I looked down at the human girl in front of me. She had hugged me when she had seen me. She of all people should hate me. I nearly killed her. The funny thing was that although I did feel a burn in my throat her scent wasn't affecting me like it did. The slight burn was all I felt, I didn't have the desire to feed from her. Not in the slightest. Maybe it was because I've been sulking and moping I've lost touch with my senses...but I don't feel like I have.
Why didn't she understand why they left me? I ruined everything! I couldn't control myself. I put strain on the whole family. It was my fault Edward made them all leave.
"They left for you, not because of you." I told her. I stepped away from her and went to go back upstairs.
"Wait, please..." she called out, grabbing my arm. I looked back at her tugging my sleeve. She looked so desperate. "Can I...can I stay with you?" My shock must have shown across my face, because she started blabbing out explanations. "I don't mean all the time. Just...could I come over sometimes, after school maybe an occasional weekend."
"Bella stop." I said. "That's fine as long as I have time to hunt and you know the risks do whatever you like."
~When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find~
I looked up at him in shock. He agreed...he was going to let me hang around here. I felt a little bit i disheartened that he didn't even seem to care but still; he had agreed and that was something.
"Thanks." I replied, my eyes flicked to his face. He wasn't looking at me, he looked almost nervous. "You won't hurt me Jasper."
"So last month you think I wasn't trying to hurt you?" he snapped. "You really are a danger magnet." With that he walked off.
I stood on the stairs unsure what to do next. Was that him retracting his invitation? Should I just go and come back when he might be in a better mood? No, I was here now; I'd just stay out of his way as much as possible while visiting. I passed the kitchen and remembered the first time Edward had brought me here. I continued into the house and found myself stood in Edward's room. His CDs were gone but the stereo and the lounger were still there. I was sad to think that once this house was filled with the people I had come to think of family. I went and led on the couch and I cried. I let everything go and I cried.
I should have said no but I didn't give a shit what Edward's reasons were now. We had all left Folks. On his request and then they had asked me to leave them. They said they loved me, they'd miss me but they couldn't deal with my thirst, it was too much of a risk and I could expose them all. So I came back here not knowing where else to go. I didn't think I'd be able to manage my thirst anywhere else, especially alone. Carlisle was the only one who had had faith in me and he wanted me to stay but unfortunately he was outvoted. I knew he was truly sorry.
Now Bella wanted to hang around the house. Since I didn't seem very affected by her blood at the moment I figured it wouldn't be a problem as long as I hunted regularly. It was surprising that after a month of hiding in the house, only leaving to hunt once a week, not seeing virtually a single person I didn't want Bella's blood. Even when she had hugged me, I had only felt an irritating burning in my throat. Of course sods law that I would get over my thirst just months too late.
~You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head~
I could feel sudden waves of pain and I knew there was only one place it could be coming from. I hovered in the doorway but didn't enter. She was curled up in a ball on Edward couch. I could hear her crying from my own room but up close it was like I could hear the pain in every sob not just feel the emotions coming from her. It was enough to make me want to curl up in a ball. I hadn't felt other people's emotions in so long I had to admit I missed it, although I'd rather not remember that this way. Leaving her hadn't done her any good at all; you only had to look at her to know that. There was hardly anything of her. Edward had left her to life her human life, be happy and be safe...living; that was about all she was doing.
I concentrated and sent some soft calming waves her way. It wasn't long before she fell asleep so I left her there and went back to my room, to my quiet, empty sulking; only...the house wasn't so empty anymore.
~Because there's always been heartache and pain...
And when it's over you'll breathe again...~
Author's Notes: So, that's my first edited chapter, not much different I'll admit but still there will be more to come.