Story Title: He Watched and We Loved
Vamp or Human: Human
A/N: This is the first thing I've written since college -- we won't talk about how long ago that was... Thanks to Coldplaywhore, Kikikinz, sparagus_, beegurl13 and my La V for holding my hand through this. I can't believe you actually convinced me to do it. I need a drink and a giant Toblerone.
I am not Stephanie Meyer and I own nothing related to Twilight. If I did, I'd pay somebody to do my laundry.
Waiting was one of the hardest things for me to do. I hated it. Especially when what I was waiting for is something so heavenly, so thrilling, so completely blissful that time seemed to stand still -- if not creep backwards. I wasn't sure how many times I checked my watch, the clock on the bedside table and on my phone hoping that one would move faster than another. Each minute felt like an hour. I had no idea how I've survived the last six months waiting for today, and now that it was so close, I about to crack from the anticipation; I could almost taste it.
The sound of my phone pulled me out of my reverie, and I almost break my neck as I flung myself over the bed to get to it. Easy there Esme, I thought wryly, getting hurt now would not be in your best interest.
My flight just landed. I'll find you. It starts now.
The text I received was simple and straight to the point and yet still managed to send an erotic chill through my entire body; it was show time. I slipped my heels back on, fluffed my auburn hair, grabbed my purse and room key card and walked out the door. I assumed that Jacob had received the same text, so I didn't try and call him on the way down to the lobby of my hotel, knowing that he would meet me there when he was ready to go. After five years together, we had this down to a science. There was no awkwardness, no secrets, no guilt between us, and we were comfortable with who and what we were to each other. All too soon we would be forced back into our everyday lives where we would attend meetings, fulfill responsibilities and pretend to care about things that didn't matter at all, but for the next several hours, we were free to feel and to be and to live.
Twice a year I attended a conference for buyers and designers in the furniture industry. When I was there, I would leave my normally reserved personality at home and strut my stuff with the confidence and attitude that I wished I could have at home. It was my time to be the real Esme--me--not the Esme that Forks society expected me to be -- the volunteer, the gracious hostess, the doting physician's wife. There was nothing wrong with those things, in fact, most of the time I relished the life that I'd built in Forks, but every so often, it was nice to be able to let my hair down a bit and play. Most of our friends would never understand, though that was probably the same assumption that they made about me. I wondered how well people truly knew one another. How many people truly let people close enough to know something of this nature?
I had been at the convention for four days now, and on Sunday I would fly home, start promoting the new design ideas I picked up and gladly fall back into my routine, but tonight was all about me and Jacob...and Carlisle, my husband. Carlisle and I had been married for ten years, and Jacob was a self-confirmed eternal bachelor who, against all conventional logic, fit into our lives like he was born to be a part of it. He had nothing against the institution of marriage; it just wasn't for him. He loved women; he loved men; he loved everybody and knew that he would never be happy being tied down to one person for the rest of his life. I met him at the Fall 2002 Market when he rescued me from the advances of another showroom rep. She was odd and had a mullet and apparently thought she was Joan Jett. Anyway, Jacob came over, whisked me away, and we'd been inseparable ever since. However, it wasn't until a fateful night in 2004 that our relationship evolved to become what it was today.
That evening, Jacob was keeping me company while I waited for Carlisle to fly in from Forks. We were strolling around the Natuzzi showroom when we were approached by a woman that I recognized from Forks. I had done some work for Mrs. Cope and her husband when they were redecorating their home, and rumor had it that they were looking to build again soon. Since I wanted to stay on her radar, I smiled and made introductions, but a little piece of me was devastated that even across the country I had to pretend to be somebody that I wasn't. Jacob immediately picked up on my distress and later said it was like watching a sidewalk chalk drawing get washed away by the rain. He said he saw the light fade in my eyes, and he swore that he would do whatever it would take to make sure that I never lost my spark again in his presence. He took my phone from my hands and called Carlisle to let him know that our plans had changed and that he should meet us back at my hotel instead. Once Carlisle joined us, we picked up some beer and Chinese food and headed back to Jacob's house, blowing off the night's organized whatever. It was nice to just relax and catch up and pretend that we were the only three people in the world. I couldn't remember how it started or who made the first move, but what I did remember was that I had never felt so essential in all my life. That monumental night I realized that it was possible to love two different people, albeit in two different ways. What I felt when we were with Jacob was distinguishable from what Carlisle and I had together when it was just the two of us—our marriage was magical and beautiful and so many things that I was never able to put into words. But the way it felt when the three of us were together -- it was healing and nurturing and loving in its own right. And who was I kidding? It was hot.
My sentimental journey down memory lane was cut short by a pair of arms wrapping themselves around my waist from behind. Jacob was here. I turned around and looked up into eyes the color of coal and a smile that could outshine Times Square. There was something different from the casual and playful energy he exuded when we were working together this morning. Now he was charged, electric, full of desire and aching to possess. He eyed me up and down, his orbs growing darker with each passing glance. I inhaled his scent and felt the sudden urge to taste his lips, not willing or able to wait another minute. I reached up and clinched his tie in my hand, wrapping it around my fist to keep him from moving and pressed myself against him as close as I could. I sucked his bottom lip between mine, wanting to savor everything his mouth offered me and never let go.
"Esme," he stated suddenly, removing my hand from his tie and interlocking his fingers with mine. "Between the directions I got from Carlisle and that kiss, if we don't get out of here soon, I may just decide to take you back upstairs and keep you all to myself tonight."
Trying to initiate our departure, he turned me around, leaned down and brushed his lips across the nape of my neck, sending chills down my spine and making me close my eyes in an attempt to control my desire. I was on fire, lust smoldering and aching throughout every nerve and fiber of my body. His fingertips traced down my arms igniting my body, and I moaned, unable to hold it in anymore.
Jacob moved his arm around my waist and guided me towards the door leading outside. Each night of Market, after all the official business was done for the day, a few of the showrooms stayed open after hours or sponsored a party at a restaurant or bar in town. Tonight's event was being held a few doors down in an old warehouse that had been converted into a showroom. It was open and spacious and had that indescribable atmosphere that can only found in old buildings, almost like it was haunted. We walked over willingly knowing that it would likely be crowded with other Market-goers, adding to the allure of the night. Carlisle out there watching us was fueling our fire, but knowing his eyes may not be the only ones on us just fanned the flames higher.
Upon entering the building, I was overwhelmed by the electric feel in the air, like something could happen at any minute but where and when was anybody's guess. It was already fairly crowded at the bar, and there were a few couples on the dance floor. After a week of presentations and networking, everybody was ready for a chance to enjoy themselves and celebrate their successes.
We got a table towards the back with two bar stools. I sat on one, hooking the heels of my shoes on one of the rungs since my feet didn't hit the floor. Jacob went to get me a drink, and I scoured the room looking to see if Carlisle had arrived. There were so many people that the chance of spotting him was slim to none, especially if he wasn't ready to be seen. I figured I would just have to wait until he found me instead. The thought of him here watching me, watching us, sent a shiver through my body. The room may be charged, but it had nothing on me.
Jacob came back from the bar with a glass of wine for me and his own drink. I took a slow sip from the bulbous glass, hoping it would help me relax. As the wine touched my lips, I felt the flavor curl around my tongue, and I swallowed, feeling the warmth glide down my throat. I felt my phone vibrate in my purse and reached down to grab it. I saw that I had a new text, and I pressed the button to read.
You look fucking delicious. I can't wait to taste you.
"Carlisle?" Jacob asked, scanning the room. I kept my reply vague, still not quite sure how I wanted to approach the situation at hand. I mean, it was hot as fuck, but could we really pull this off? God, I hoped so. One way or another, I was determined to get fucked tonight.
As if he could feel my apprehension, Jacob leaned into me and nuzzled against my neck and licked a path from my collar bone to my ear, handed me my glass and whispered, "Drink," his voice husky and promising. With that, the last few morsels of hesitation flew out the window. He always seems to know exactly what to say or do to make me let go.
The room continued to fill while he was at the bar getting our drinks, making it harder for us to hear each other, so he moved behind me, and I felt the solid wall of his chest radiate heat against my back. He took the glass from my fingers and lowered it to the table, turning the bar stool and our bodies toward the dance floor and sliding his strong hands around my waist. His hands spanned my belly, just under my breasts and his thumbs began lazily skimming along the bottom curve of each one.
"Your tits are driving me insane. Your nipples have been straining against your top all night, hard and round, just right for my mouth, baby." He leaned down and nibbled just below my ear, then sucked an earlobe into the heat of his mouth, and as if they heard him, I felt it in each nipple. I gasped and squeezed my thighs together feeling my panties dampening as my body reacted. He cupped my left breast and lightly pinched the nipple. I automatically thrust my body further into his hands and heard his amused chuckle. "I think you're feeling it too. I think these babies are all mine tonight."
"Are you mine tonight, Esme? Do I get to play with you, tease you, devour you however I want?"
I was breathless, frozen in the moment, unable to comprehend how he had read my body and honed into my desires so completely. "Answer me, Esme, or I may have to go away and take my big cock with me. You don't want to risk losing the chance to be fucked by my hard cock, now do you?" As he rolled his hips against my ass, I felt his fingers run up my neck to outline my lips. God, how did he already know what I needed? I felt dizzy as his cock pressed against my ass, seemingly unnoticed in the crowd.
"Open." His command made me gasp again, and as my lips parted, he slipped his index finger onto my tongue. I turned my head to look at him—his eyes black as they bore into mine, watching my lips close around him.
"Suck." I felt my wetness seep down my thighs, and I worried for a minute about leaving a spot on the bar stool. I latched onto his finger and circled the tip with my tongue as I sucked it in and out of my hungry mouth, a not so subtle promise of things to come.
My phone buzzed again, and I glanced at it without moving Jacob from my mouth.
You're starting to cause a scene. I'm not the only one watching you.
I looked around. There was a couple at a nearby table who were not making much effort to hide their looks at us. Some others nearby looked like they were trying to watch without making it too obvious.
I met Jacob's eyes again, nodding slightly letting him know that we were being watched. Extracting his finger from my mouth, he swiftly turned my stool so that I faced him and he stood at my knees. His hands were on each side of my hips, locking me in. I looked up into his face, losing myself in dark eyes surrounded by inky black lashes. His mouth was kicked up into a sexy half-smile. He slowly dragged his hands from the tops of my shoulders down to my hands, interlocking his fingers with mine.
"Let's play," was all he said.
He guided us to the center of the dance floor, and pulled me to his hard body. He locked my fingers around his neck and leaned down to whisper close in my ear, "Don't move." I took a shaky breath, excited beyond my wildest imagination. With my arms raised, my nipples were stretched tight and high against his hard chest, the friction teasing me as he began to move us slowly around the floor. My body started to shake and my knees threatened to buckle from the sensation. I felt him chuckle as he moved one hand to press against my lower back, crushing my body against his cock. He then slid his hand towards the bottom of my ass, stroking and squeezing all the while pressing into me. His thigh moved between my legs until I found myself rubbing against his leg, oblivious to everyone around us and mesmerized by the lust oozing from our bodies. I moved against him slowly and rhythmically in a way that was completely and inherently sexual. For two songs we danced and moved against each other, the tension building and undulating around us. It was glorious.
Do you want to fuck him Esme?This time I turned my phone so Jacob could read the message.
"I can feel your pussy hot against my leg. Is that just because of me or is it the game that's turning you on? Do you want me to slide my cock into your hot tight pussy and fuck you Esme? Is that what you want? Or do you want me to keep teasing?"
I could only nod my head in reply, all coherency long gone and replaced my wanton need. I needed to be filled, and I need it to be now.
"Nodding your head isn't an answer. I need to know what you want. Tell me what you need Esme. Tell me, and I'll do it."
"Let's get out of here Jacob. I need to feel you. I need to taste you. I need you in me. I need it all."
He led me from the dance floor, but not towards the exit like I had hoped. Instead, we went back to our table in the corner, which was somehow still vacated. I wondered how much Carlisle had had to do with arranging that, and I was convinced of it when two drinks were delivered to our table without our having asked for them. Instinctively, I briefly scanned the room, but I knew he still wasn't ready to be seen.
"You seem a little flustered, beautiful. Ah, but Esme, we haven't been here nearly long enough," Jacob murmured while his hand slid not-so-discretely up my thigh. "You don't want it to be over yet, do you? The night is young, and I have big plans. We have big plans." His fingers continued their journey up my leg until they reached the edge of my panties, skimming over the center so lightly that I wasn't sure if it was contact I felt or if it was the anticipation. I inhaled sharply and shivered while Jacob just raised an eyebrow and took a sip of his drink.
"Do you find it sexy when I'm rubbing your pussy with people around?" he asked before he kissed my temple.
I felt him simultaneously take my earlobe in his mouth and press his fingers against my panties. Jacob pressed against my lace covered clit lightly before his fingers danced further down to examine the dampness he'd caused. "There's still too much I want to do to you tonight, too much we haven't had the chance to try..." He repeated the procedure a few more times, and I was dizzy from the teasing touch of his hand between my legs and the feel of his hot sultry breath against my neck. Both sensations were driving me crazy, and I craved more.
"I've thought about this all week," he whispered into my ear as one hand ventured to brush against me yet again, this time underneath my panties. "Thought about you, the noises you make when I touch you, how wet you get for me." He trailed a finger through my wetness, all the while holding me immobile. His laugh was low as I moaned and struggled to wiggle in my seat.
Without even realizing it, I'd begun rolling my hips forward against his hand matching his rhythm. His fingers continue to slide against my wetter-than-wet center, and I was silently begging for him to dive in, but he didn't. After a moment, he simply stopped. Seconds passed and he didn't move. I looked over my shoulder at him and was about to protest when I felt his fingers glide upward and land on my clit. I sucked a deep breath in as he placed two fingers over it and began to rub in hard, wide circles. I began to move my hips forward against his hand again, swearing that I had died and gone to heaven. His expert touch was pure perfection. He knew exactly what I needed without me saying a word. I couldn't believe how easily I was giving myself over to him. He knew it, too. His other hand moved to circle around my waist, securing me against him. "I've got you, Esme...now let yourself go...give yourself to me."
Apparently his words were just the push I needed to fall off the edge. He kissed me long and hard, making me giddy as I tried to regulate my breathing. He grabbed his phone and typed a text of his own before shoving it in his pocket and grabbing my hand. He rose from the table and grabbed me around the waist, locking me tight against his chest. I could feel the heat of his erection pressing against my stomach.
"We're leaving now," he growled into my neck before he released me and turned. He pulled me towards the door with an air of possessiveness, but it wasn't overbearing. It was hot. Carlisle may have set the tone of the evening earlier with his texts and his voyeurism, but he wasn't the one in control now. Not Carlisle, not me. It was Jacob.
I didn't fight; I didn't argue. I wanted this man. I couldn't wait to touch him and kiss him anywhere and everywhere, and I wanted to do it now. He led me to his SUV and opened the door for me, his carnal desires burning in his eyes.
The drive was surprisingly quiet, but the tension was out of control. One of us was in constant contact with the other. Hands caressed and rubbed and squeezed and touched. I almost suggested he pull off onto the side of the road, but we needed to get to his house. As much as the desire flared between us, we never crossed the line while we were alone. Sensing my frustration, he took my hand in his, and in an exceptionally tender gesture, kissed my fingers. I studied his face as he drove, memorizing every line and detail. This man stirred me, and my heart ached for him.
We reached the house that Jacob had rented for Market and raced each other inside. The house was the same one that he had rented for years, so I was familiar with the layout and where everything was located. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs, tired of waiting. The bedroom was exactly as I had remembered, spacious and open with French doors leading to a balcony that overlooked the backyard. The king-sized bed was against the far wall, covered with pillows and shams, and the whole appearance screamed decadence. Beside the French doors was a leather chair, and that was where I finally found Carlisle, sitting in the darkness. He was hidden in the shadows, the lit end of a cigarette the only visible indication that he was truly there. I couldn't see his eyes, but I could feel them boring into me intently. He didn't say a word.
His eyes weren't the only pair watching me. I looked over and saw Jacob lingering in the doorway, staring intently at me and slowly loosening his tie. He was silhouetted by the light from the hallway, the shape of his body called to me, begging me to explore him. I backed up to the edge of the bed and crooked my finger, motioning him towards me. He stalked towards me like a predator as he pulled his tie on one side and letting it slide through the collar of his button down, but I didn't back down. He might have controlled things in the bar, but we were on a level playing field now.
Jacob stopped in front of me, and I motioned for him to sit beside me on the edge of the bed. Once he was down, I stood up, moving to stand in front of him as if blocking his escape. Without any notice, I yanked his shirt out of his pants, lifted it up over his head and threw it blindly behind me. I took in his bare shoulders and chest with my eyes, my fingers itching to touch and remember the silkiness of his skin and the texture of his hair. My entire body yearned to rediscover every exquisite inch of his body. I lowered myself onto my knees, and I eased his legs apart, encasing my body between his strong thighs. Reaching for the waist band of his pants, I traced my fingers beneath the edge and felt the muscles of his abs clench in response. I slowly removed his belt and finally released the top button, but stopped there. Unable to resist any longer, I leaned in to kiss his nipples, and Jacob's moan in response made me feel like I was the most powerful woman on earth. I continued my kisses down his stomach to the edge of his pants, his eyes as dark as midnight and focused solely on me. I rested my palm on his straining hardness, feeling him twitch in response and licked my lips in anticipation.
I gripped the tab of his zipper, but before I lowered it down over his enormous erection, I placed an open mouthed kiss on the taut fabric stretching across him. I rubbed my cheek against him, breathing in the intoxicating male scent of his arousal before I slowly eased the zipper of his pants down, anxious to finally see him and touch him and taste him. I motioned for him to lift his hips and I maneuvered him out of his pants and black boxer briefs, gasping as he sprung free, and eagerly taking the throbbing length of him in my hand.
Jacob inhaled sharply, and his hips bucked involuntarily as I stroked his hard cock. Awed by his size, I traced my fingers across his length and circled his weeping head, spellbound by the velvet texture of his rigid flesh. I watched as he closed his eyes and set his jaw while I reacquainted myself with his body. I leaned forward and placed gentle kisses up his length before wrapping my fingers around him and slowly stroking up and down.
I knew from experience exactly what he liked, and the low growl emanating from his chest told me how much he enjoyed my caresses. I watched, completely enthralled at the way his erection pumped through my tight fist, picking up on the rhythm that he had unknowingly set. I was hypnotized by the way his head popped in and out of my grasp as he grew impossibly longer and harder with each stroke.
He placed his hands on the mattress behind him and leaned back, offering himself up to me. I took in his nakedness and skimmed my thumb across the smooth head of his cock, Jacob shivering in response. Releasing him from my grasp, I returned to kissing him up and down before I circled my lips around the tip of him and lowered my head, taking as much of him as I could into my mouth. I pulled back a bit, pressing the flat part of my tongue along the underside of his cock as it left my mouth. I relaxed and opened for him as he slid back in my mouth, and I felt him shudder as he moved his head against the back of my throat.
I moved my hands a bit lower, teasing and gently caressing his balls all the while switching up my movements...faster then slower, more pressure then less.
Jacob tried to warn me, "Esme, I'm..." but he should have known by now that I would not stop.
Instead, I increased the attention to his balls, stroking them gently with the tips of my nails until he released long, warm spurts down my throat. I didn't stop until he stopped shivering and then, only then, did I release him from my mouth, using my tongue to make sure I got every last drop.
Before I could stand up I found myself lifted and placed on the bed. Insistent lips were at my throat and blazing a path down toward my breasts where hands were struggling with the tiny buttons on my blouse. I nudged Jacob's hands away and managed the buttons myself because he was taking way too long. Movement in the corner of the room caught my eye, and I looked over at Carlisle as he took a sip of his drink. I had always envied how he managed to keep his cool when I was clawing out of my skin. He saw me looking at him while another man was undressing me, and he smirked. He raised his glass in our direction, knowing exactly what I was thinking. He chuckled quietly to himself.
Jacob unlatched my bra and let the straps fall slowly off my shoulders. He eased them down my arms and freed my breasts before nudging me back and taking my left nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. He took my other breast in his hand and began squeezing and teasing. I couldn't hold back the moan that escaped me. I writhed beneath him and cried out quietly as he continued to drive me steadily towards that white-hot place where nothing existed but pleasure and unrelenting need. Just when I felt as though I was about to come apart, he slid lower and proceeded to peel the clingy fabric of my skirt from my body; my panties soon followed. His lips and soft tongue then started their own downward journey toward my navel and beyond, making me breathless with anticipation.
Gently parting my legs, he left trails of hot kisses along my calves and nibbled on my thighs before licking a trail from hip to hip. He returned to my inner thighs where his nibbles turned to bites, his breathing erratic as he blazed a path closer to the most intimate part of me.
I bucked my hips in response, and I moaned as a finger slipped inside me, slowly thrusting deep before another was added -- followed by another. As he pulled his fingers out ever so slowly and then pushed them back inside me just as slowly, a shudder ran through my entire body from head to toe. I could feel my wetness, and I trembled when his thumb stroked my pussy, followed by the heat of his hungry and eager tongue.
When he moved his head again, his mouth moved to completely cover my pussy. I had been waiting for some relief, and I gasped as Jacob moved his tongue across my slit. He started to push his tongue into my pussy as he spread my lips with his fingers. His hands were under my legs holding my hips as he pressed his head firm against my pussy and started to lick my clit. I looked down, and his eyes were watching me as he alternated licking and sucking.
"God, you're already soaking wet, baby. Been thinking about this all week like I have?"
"Uh-huh," was all I could manage. All coherency abandoning me as I fell victim to his touch.
He must have seen the lust on my face, because he smirked with his eyes and then dove in with renewed vigor, exhibiting just the right level of tenderness, wetness and skill. I could feel my release approaching, and I knew it would be soon, but I did not expect I would have my orgasm the second he slipped his finger inside me as he flicked his tongue against my clit. I tensed up and lifted my hips off the bed as I came, but Jacob moved his head with me and continued to lick as I experienced one of the longest and most intense orgasms I had ever had. I was still in bliss as I lowered my ass onto the bed again.
Jacob crawled up the length of my body until his form hovered over mine, but he didn't enter me as I expected him to. Instead he placed gentle kisses across my eye lids, temples and jaw, perceiving correctly that I needed the comfort of his gentle touch after experiencing such a powerful climax. My trembling eventually subsided, and he dropped his forehead to rest against mine and brushed his nose softly against my own.
Once he decided I had had enough time to recover, that mischievous sparkle in his eyes returned and he fused his mouth to mine without warning. I felt his growl reverberate through my body, and he spread my thighs with his own as he eased over me, supporting his body with a forearm placed along the side of my head. Sliding his other hand slowly down to my hip, he positioned me, ready to claim me. Wasting no more time on foreplay, he sank into me with one hard, driving thrust, and I sucked in a sharp breath and arched against his hips, overwhelmed by the unrelenting hardness that now filled me completely, slick and hot and deep.
"You okay baby?" he brushed the tendrils of hair off my cheek, his touch so tender and his gaze brimming with so much concern that my heart ached.
"Uh huh, still trying to recover from before, not that I'm complaining." I reached up and caressed the side of his face with my hand. He was such an important part of my life, our lives, and I wanted to make sure that he never doubted how much I cherished him. I looked over toward Carlisle at the same time, bringing him into the moment, sharing with him what I could. Our connection bridging more than just the physical.
"Thank goodness, because you feel incredible and I'm not sure I can stay still much longer..." He flexed his hips, forcing his way deeper, and we both groaned at the feeling.
Wanting him to lose hold on his control, I raised my knees, wrapped my legs around the back of his thighs and urged him to move.
His nostrils flared, his eyes bore into mine, blazing, and his restraint finally snapped. He began thrusting within me, strong and ferocious. There was nothing sweet, slow, or gentle about it. His body was on fire, and he fanned the flame with every movement, the heat consuming my body along with his.
He lowered his head and captured my mouth in a hungry kiss that I returned just as voraciously. I urged my body up, my ample breasts crushed against his chest, losing myself in the sensation curling in my body from the undulating pressure against my clit. I willed him to never stop as he pumped faster, harder, a desperate urgency to his thrusts, my passion as wild and reckless as his own. I writhed and arched and moaned as the tension surging through me stole my breath, and then I was falling.
"Oh fuck!" I roared, "Fuck! Fuck!"
It was the only word I could muster and the only thought I could conjure as my orgasm began to ravage through my body. Jacob's shaft arched deep into my clinching pussy, pushing the orgasm further with each thrust. My arms became weak and my head light as the waves of pleasure radiated from deep within my body. It was a struggle to keep my focus on Carlisle, but I wanted him to see the ecstasy in my eyes. Not only did he see it, but his body obviously responded to the sight. As he watched me come, his hands stroked his own cock. His hands matching the pace and rhythm of Jacob as he pounded into me, his own breathing ragged.
"That was so fucking hot," I whispered in his direction as I maneuvered up the bed towards the pillows, my body ready for rest. "I feel like I was just fucked by you both."
The truth of that statement didn't hit me until I heard the words come out of my mouth. While definitely not the most eloquent way I could have phrased things, that was exactly how I felt. Carlisle was not just a bystander tonight; in fact, by watching us together tonight he was just as intimately involved. There was more to intimacy than lust and sex, and there was no doubt that the three of us illustrated that tonight. Carlisle may not have touched either of us physically, but he still played just as much of a integral part of our intimacy as Jacob or myself. They both stared at me, and I stared back, the adoration pure in our eyes allowing us to say a million things to each other without saying a word.
Jacob pulled the duvet over my body and kissed my temple, running his fingers soothingly through my hair. I was asleep before I had a chance to fight it, and I slept solidly the entire night, my dreams recreating the events of the incredible night.
At some point during the night, Carlisle had crawled into bed with us, and I woke the next morning wrapped in his arms. His hold around me was comforting, and I couldn't help but feel that we had passed some kind of test—that no matter where we went from here, nothing could tarnish our love for each other. Jacob was on my other side, his back nestled against mine as if he were trying to stay close, and at the same time buffer Carlisle and me from the outside world. Not wanting to wake either of them, I choked back my tears as I realized that I was experiencing love in its purest form. Never in my life had I ever felt so complete. I was Esme and they were Jacob and Carlisle. And together we were our own world, free to live and love and exist, if only for a few days at a time.