Disclaimer: inspired by a line from a recent omake in Zanpaktou Rebellion. A friend was paraphrasing the latest episode for me, and quoted the line mentioned below. I make no apologies for the crack that arose as a result. Um. Slight OOC-ness – but worth it, in my opinion!


I demand trees! – Shiro, Bleach omake.

"What are you doing?"

The hollow glared up at the sword. Shiro was crouched on glass-and-chrome windows of his – their, godsdammit – inner world, hunched over a twisted framework of cloth and steel. "What the fuck d'ya think I'm doing?" He snarled, turning his attention back to his work. "I'm fucking sick of this place, that's wha. And since you – " he darted a glance of bitter hatred at the looming sword – "Won't let me out anymore, and King refuses ta… I'm not gonna take it!" He nearly yelled, eyes all but spitting sparks. The sword drew breath to speak; Shiro cut him off. "I want a fucking tree already!"

Zangetsu stared down at the pale form of the albino, face momentarily nonplussed. He took a metaphorical step backwards. "Ichigo promised to amend that deficiency." A small, private smile crossed his lips at the memory.

The hollow snorted. "He said he'd work on it." He corrected, pale fingers twisting an iron shard into a rectangular alignment. "Don't know about you, but I ain't taking it for granted."

"He said – "

"And when have you fuckin' known him ta do anything without being prompted?
Shiro countered.

"…you have a point." Zangetsu conceded, dark eyes sliding to the contraption in front of the hollow. "What are you doing?" He asked again.

"The only fuckin' way ta get king ta change his mind is to make 'im do it." Shiro said grimly, tearing a strip of cloth from his sleeve and wrapping around the framework.

"I will not allow – "

"Yeah, yeah. Ya won't let me beat sense inta the moron." Shiro snorted, turning back to his work.

"Then what – "

"I'm goin' on strike."


"I. Am. Going. On. Strike." The hollow said in the slow tones reserved for the mentally challenged. He hefted his impromptu sign. It had a crude figure of a tree painted on it. "Wanna join me?"

Zangetsu considered.


Ichigo rubbed his forehead.

"What do we want?"


"No! You're not sayin' it right! Like this – trees!"


"Look, I've fucking heard you yell before this. You want trees, right? Enough to raise your voice for them?"


"From the top!" The sound of a throat being cleared. "What do we want?"


"When do we want them?"


"Good! What do we want?"


"When do we want them?"


A tick began developing at the corner of the redhead's eye.