Bleach Shinchan

By Technomaru

Chapter 1: Death and the Shinchan

Note: I DEFINATELY do not own "BLEACH" nor Crayon Shinchan. They are both shows on Adult Swim. I decided to go with the Funimation Dub.

THIS FANFIC IS DEDICATED TO THE MEMORY OF

YOSHITO USUI

the creator of Crayon Shinchan

(1953-2009)

"To be a man you must have honor, honor and a penis...

he has both..."

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It was a dark and stormy night in Kasukabe, Japanese neighborhood in the Saitama ward. one can hear the clopping sounds of a pair of geta sandals in the night. A rather frightened night watchman then finds out what is making those sounds, he sees what appears to be a boy of five years, dressed like a school boy, wearing geta sandals and a yellow and black striped chanchanko vest. The boy has his bangs cover his left eye.

The Watchman goes up to the boy and asks him, "What are you doing around this time and what's with the crazy get up?" The boy just says, "I'm just walking to the local graveyard for I am "Poo poo poo no Shin-taro!" The watchmen then says, "Boys your age shouldn't be going out at this time of night, there are reports of people being torn apart by a invisible creature an HEY! Why are you dressed like Kitaro?..." But then the watchman notices a rather angry woman standing right behind the boy.

The boy looks behind him and sees it's his mother Mitzy Nohara. the boy shouts, "Yikes! A yokai" She just tugs the boy by the ear and says, "I thought I told you 10 times Shin, no imitating spooky anime characters at night!" The boy's name is Shinnosuke "Shin-chan" Nohara, 5 years old, kindergardener, and a very unusual boy...

But something much more unusual happens that very night

(Back at the Nohara house)

Shin was just sleeping, dreaming of being in a house of hot mamas... yet his mama wasn't among them and it just makes him smile. Shin then hears a strange sound outside his window and hides under his bed.

Then Shin couldn't believe what he is seeing. He sees what appears to be a girl aged 15 in a black swordsman uniform with a a strand of hair tucked neatly between her eyes looking around, The Girl then says to herself, "It's getting closer, I can feel it."

Shin then pops out of his bed in his Action Bastard costume and shouts, "HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Nice costume!" And this gives the girl a great shock. The girl then shivers and says, "You....you scared me... you can see me... But I can't be seen by humans, how can you see me?"

Shin-chan then stands there quietly and The girl says, "I asked you a question, how can a human like yourself be able to see me?" Shin then says, "Actually...I'm not a human, I'm the last surviving member of the Ghost Tribe... Kid-ding! My name is Shinnosuke Nohara, I like koala yummies, centerfolds and I hate bellpeppers, but most people refer to me as "Shinchan"... Wanna see my ass?"

The girl is shocked by his behavior and continues to ask, "Ok kid... how can you see me?" Shinchan then answers as he takes off his Action Bastard costume, "Well how can I not notice anything cute?" the girl then smiles at the comment but Shin quickly jumps at her chest and smiles but then he notices something "small" and then he says to her, "Your breasts are smaller than mommy's!"

The girl then knocks Shin off her and then she places a spell and shouts "Bakudo number 1!" Then Shin suddenly has his arms on his back and he falls to the ground. Shin then says, "Aaah! My arms cannot move! Just who are you?"

The girl then says to Shin, "You want to know? I'll tell you... My name is Rukia Kuchiki and I'm a Shinigami! I placed a immobility spell on you so you can keep your hands to yourself!" Shin then asks, "Cool! Are you here to give me a DEATH NOTE? I have a apple in the kitchen!" Rukia then says, "No I'm not those types of Shinigami... fine I'm a "soul reaper", I was sent by the Soul Society to hunt down the recently departed. Let me show you!"

Rukia then pulls out a sword as she swings her sword towards him and as Shin opens his eye, he sees the blade through a ghost's forehead that just appeared out of nowhere. Shin then says, "Oh no... the ghost of famed comic artist Yoshito Usui has been haunting my house. Yoshito's ghost then says, "Oh no... I don't want to leave my dwelling... please don't send me to..."Rukia then appears calm and says to the ghost, "Don't worry, You'll be sent to the Soul Society, you will find a peaceful rest for eternity. The ghost then breathes his last and vanishes into a bright light, leaving a butterfly flying away. Shin then asks Rukia, "What was that all about! What happened to him?"

Rukia then explains, "I sent him to the Soul Society which is my job, now I will explain to you in small words so you will understand it..."

Rukia pulls out sketches and gives Shin a explaination, "There are two types of spirits in this world... (picture of happy bunnies) the first kind are normal spirits or "wholes" these are the ones you are probably related to... (picture of mean looking bears) and the second kind are evil spirits called "hollows", they attack people living or dead in order to devour their souls...any questions before I continue?"

Shin then answers, "I like your art, can I draw a elephant to go with it?" Rukia is pretty happy that someone likes her art and replies, "I would but the spell is placed on you and... are you picking your nose?" Shin somehow breaks the spell and is picking his nose and then stratches his balls and extends his hand towards Rukia as he says, "Well it was nice meeting you Rukia."

Rukia is suprised and says, "No! I don't know how you broke that spell but I am not shaking hands with you! Also I wasn't finished, There are two main jobs for Soul Reapers... first, to lead "wholes" to Soul Society through a method I did. And second, exorcise the hollows wherever we find them!

Shin just farts and says, "Love is in the air!" Rukia then covers her nose. But then suddenly, the ground shakes as Rukia and Shin follow it's vibes, they see a giant monsterous creature burst through the wall and grab Hina as the creature says, "Her spiritual energy, it is very sweet! I must devour it!" Rukia then says, "Shin! It's a hollow and it wants to eat your sister!" Shin then shouts at the hollow "HEY MR. HOLLOW! LOOK AT MY ELEPHANT!" Shin then pulls his pants down and shows the hollow his penis.

The Hollow is just rather confused and Rukia is very disgusted and she asks Shin, "You think this accomplishes something? Showing your privates? Stand back! I'll fight him!"

Rukia then jumps towards the creature with her zanpakutō and fights the creature with it and the fight was fierce, Shin then lights a match and throws it at the hollow but with little success. But then the creature delivers a hard blow to Rukia, knocking her out. The hollow then sniffs around and he places Hina back in her crib and says as he looks at Shin, "No! I want you!" Then Shin is chased by the hollow. Whitey just barks at the Hollow from his dog house.

Shin runs by Yonro "the drop out" and Yonro comments, "This looks like something from a Tite Kubo manga, oh well time to get back home and "fap" to pictures of Dr. Girlfriend."

Shin is grabbed by Rukia who says to him, "Shin, I have no idea why that thing wants to devour you and your family but they are grave danger!"

Shin then says, "I want to destroy that bastard with my bastardness! Is there a way?' Rukia then says, "There is... I will temporarily lend you my powers...you must become a soul reaper yourself!" Shin is shocked by this and says, "Well I must do this if it means saving my family and myself, tell me what to do Rukia." Rukia then says, "grab my zanpakutō and my powers will flow into you!" Then in a flash, the power transfer was made!

Shinchan slices the Hollow's arm with a zanpakutō and is now wearing a black swordsman uniform. Rukia appears in a white version of her uniform and she is covered in blood, Rukia then asks, "How did this happen? I was meant to give him half of my powers but somehow he's nearly taken all of it!"

Shin then lifts up his large zanpakutō and slices the other arm and a leg off the creature and as he shouts, "THIS ENDS NOW!" and he slices the hollow in half, exorcising him in the process till it fades into nothingness.

Shin then says, "Wow... I did that? I'm a bigger bastard than Action Bastard now!" And he does a imitation of Action Bastard's laugh.

Name: Shinnosuke "Shin-Chan" Nohara

Age: 5

Occupation: Kindergardener... SOUL REAPER!

Rukia then says, "I don't like where this is going..." Shin then asks Rukia, "Now that I'm a Shinigami or soul reaper or whatever... can I use my DEATH NOTE to kill Alfred E. Kahn?"

Rukia then says, "Yep... this has got to be a fate worse than death!"

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Shinchan's baby sister Hina shows up in the preview of the next episode and says, "Goo Goo Ga Ga Whaaaaa Goo Goo! Shin then says, "Hina, how can you announce the next episode if you can't even talk? Oh well, next time I see more of Rukia and give Cosmo a DEATH NOTE" Rukia then tells Shin, "I thought I told you, we're not that type of Shinigami!"