Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just like to play with them on occasion
A/N: Hey guys! Remember me? Yeah I know feel free to throw flaming bricks and steal my chocolate. I deserve it. My muse has left me with this story but I was finally able to put out at least a small chapter for you but I need help! So to the faithful who have stuck with me this long I need ideas. Whether they be far fetched, funny, or grab your tissues and cry I want to hear them. What do you see for this crew? Anyways enough of my rambling Enjoy chapter nine!
"Isabella" he sighed as he buried his face in his hands. He would give anything to know what her dreams were about. The way she was twisting in her sheets as she moved restlessly as she moaned his name was causing quite the problem in his jeans. He hated to wake her but he would have to, Alice would never forgive him for ruining two pairs of pants in one day. He had to fix this, resolve it somehow or it would destroy them all.
He carefully stood up taking care not to disturb it, its rocking motion made way too much noise. He crossed the short distance to her bed and sat down beside her. He brushed the hair out of her face and ran his finger down her arm.
She swatted at his arm, pulled the blankets over her head, and rolled over. He chuckled to himself.
"No. It's still dark outside. Go away." She moaned while she curled further in on herself.
"Come on Isabella. Open your pretty eyes for me."
She bolted upright in bed with crazy hair and wild eyes.
"What? Who? Where? I have a tazer!"
I couldn't hold it in anymore, I started laughing. Was there anything about her that wasn't wholly appealing to me? She reached over and clicked on her bedside lamp.
"Carlisle? Shhhh. You'll wake up Charlie."
"No, he left about an hour ago. There was an incident down at the high school involving a heavily inebriated Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie."
"I'm not surprised. What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. We need to talk."
"Why? It's three in the morning. Normal people with pulses usually sleep at this hour. Listen, if this is about earlier I'm sorry. I never should have…"
"Hush now. We both know it was me who started that. But that is part of what we need to talk about."
"Oookay. Can't it wait until tomorrow though?"
"I'm afraid not. Alice saw."
"Alice saw what? I'm confused."
"She saw what happened with us earlier." She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed.
"Should I say I'm sorry?"
"I don't know. I've been trying to figure that out myself. I want to be but I can't seem to muster it."
"I feel guilty." She said looking down at her hands.
He scooted forward on her bed so they sat hip to hip and took one of her hands in his. He tipped her chin up with the other and searched her eyes.
"You have nothing to feel guilty for. It was I who forced myself on you. Not the other way around."
"That's not it."
"I don't understand."
"I feel guilty for liking it." She looked him dead in the eyes.
He drew in a un needed breath and rested his forehead on hers. He threaded one hand into her hair and rested the other on her neck. He reveled in her scent as he unsuccessfully tried to formulate the words he should say.
"Thank you for saying so. My experience is extremely limited."
"You're preaching to the choir." Her eyes grew and she snorted as she realized what she had inadvertently said. "No pun intended of course."
He chuckled heartily and sat back to look at her.
"You are something else." His long dead heart warmed at the smile that settled on her face.
"Carlisle, what happens now?"
"I can only see it working one way. We have to walk away." She jumped up and started pacing back and forth at the foot of her bed.
"You decided this all by yourself? Why don't I get a say?"
"I don't want to! I am tired of being treated like a child. You all think that I can't make decisions for myself. Edward left for my own good. Alice dresses me for my own good. I can't kiss or touch the man I am supposed to spend the rest of eternity with for my own good. When in the heck did everyone else become experts on me? Just once I would love for someone to treat me like the adult I have been since I was 10! Why can't I be an equal to someone? Anyone?"
When she turned to face him tears were gathering in the corners of her eyes.
"Have I ever treated you like a child? If anything the way I kissed you and held you proved just how equal I think you are. That is what makes this so hard. You appeal to the part of me that should have died 300 years ago. I forgot he was in there until you came along. Then I started noticing things. The way you laugh would make scant minutes of my existence brighten. Your easy and unassuming manner made me remember things from a childhood that should be forgotten. Then I started wondering what it would be like to hold you and feel your breath on my face. You tamped down my base nature and found the man hiding in there and he wants you like hell. A part of me doesn't care what it would cost to keep you or take you in my arms and do what I really want to. But I can't. I can't do that to him, not when I damned him to this life."
"I-I see. So you want me just not enough to keep me."
"No Isabella. No. I do want you enough to keep you but the cost to us both would be catastrophic. Are you prepared to lose your life and the family you counted on? I can't ask that of you. What about Edward? I know you love him."
"I do. But how can I marry him and commit to an eternity when I want you too? It feels wrong to go through with this when all I can think about is how your hands felt on me and how good you tasted on my lips. I'm not strong enough to do it. I'm only human."
He wrapped his arms around her and wrapped one hand in her hair and tilted her head back so she was staring into his eyes.
"Then I will have to be strong enough for both of us."
He swept his lips over hers and was gone.