No, Turning Back Now
by: Lizbeth Marie

Set after the Dark Place in New Moon. Angst and Drama. Please no Flames for the decisions made.

Stephenie Meyer Owns All... *sighs*

Chapter 1: Loss

It was the first sunny day in months. It was like I was finally coming alive again. All thanks to my personal sun. Jacob.

I sat patiently at First Beach waiting for him. He would be there any moment. I sat there a soft smile on my lips. Then slowly Edward's face drifted to the surface. Internally I began to argue with myself.

No, I will not think about you now. You wanted me to move on. So I am.

Anger bubbled below the surface and I made a conscious decision to give myself to Jacob. I would have to plan it right. Charlie never minded when I would stay with Jacob over night.

"Hey Bells."

The sound of his voice made me smile as I turned to face him. His short hair was wet and there was water gleaming on his bare chest.

"Jake." I grinned shyly.

"What are our plans for today?" He asked.

I was happy that I had him. He was my best friend. He pulled me out of the hole and depression I had been in. He was there for me when no one else was. I felt him sit beside me and on instinct I leaned against his warm shoulder.

"We could go swimming?" I offered.

He laughed and looked at me. Think I'm joking... I mused to myself.

I quickly stood up and pulled off the long tattered Tshirt to reveal my black lacy bra. That got his attention. He was glued to me. His eyes filled with a burning desire. I kept eye contact with him as I lowered my jeans to reveal matching black panties.

"Bella." He groaned.

I was testing him, he knew it. But I didn't care. The next instant I squealed with joy and happiness and charged into the ice cold water. I took comfort in the cold. Even now, after all these months.

I turned to see Jake dive in and swim over to me. It began innocently enough the splashing and the giggling. But then he was so close, and I decided I would take the leap of faith and trust again. I would move on. I would love again.

He pulled me to him gently, the water calm around us as I looked up into his penetrating gaze. I slowly and deliberately wrapped my arms around his waist.

He pulled me to him and just held me. It was the first time we had done anything spontaneously. Something just to have fun and be with one another.

I licked my lips nervously and slowly pressed my lips against his bare wet shoulder. His body stiffened and he pushed me back slightly and brought his face to look me in my eyes. He was searching, desperately searching.

I did love him, I suppose apart of me always had. I wasn't in love with him, not the way he wanted me to be. But I could try. For him I would do anything.

I leaned in and gently kissed his lips. He melted to me. His arms pulling me closer cherishing my mouth. Our tongues dueling. He lifted me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. His heat was intoxicating. I grinded against him needing friction.

"What are we doing, Bella?" He asked me breaking the kiss.

Even though I didn't mean it the way he wanted, I said it, "I love you Jake." It came out a hoarse whisper.

His eyes brightened and he kissed me more forcefully. "Oh Bella. I love you too."

"Take me Jake. I want to be yours." I panted.

He ripped the thin garment of me and surveyed my naked form surrounded by water. He lifted me and carried me back to the beach. He lay me down our lips never breaking our passionate kiss.

His mouth moved down my neck, nipping at my collar bone. His tongue swept swiftly over each nipple as he made his way down farther. He got to my heated core and his tongue probed my swollen clit. My head fell back as I gasped. Grasping at his short hair. His mouth clamped shut and sucked gently. Two fingers plunged into me and curled. The heated sensation in my stomach exploded.

"Jake." I screamed out.

My body arching off the ground as I felt like I was on fire. My body spasming as I slowly came down from my high.

I looked up at Jacob with half closed eyes. I felt him slip quickly between my legs. His extremely large member pressed against my opening.

"I love you Bella." He repeated.

He pushed himself completely inside of me. I moanded in pain and pleasure to have him fully sheathed inside me. Our bodies moved together as one. My hands clutching him. Pulling him closer. Our mouths dueled with wet and hot kisses as he thrust deeper and deeper.

I felt the mucsles contract with my second orgasm. He grunted and kept right on plowing into me. I felt dizzy. He began grunting frantically I opened my eyes in time to watch his face as he came inside me. His face was so happy and peaceful.

He collapsed on top of me and I sighed.

I drifted into a peaceful dreamless sleep.

I woke up feeling overheated and looked at Jake's sleeping form. I pulled myself from his body and sat up. We'd somehow managed to get into his closet of a room. I sat there my thoughts racing over what had transpired.

I felt his warm lips on my exposed shoulder and smiled.

"Sleep well?" He asked cautiously.

"Mmhmm" I replied.

"Bella..."

"Hmm?"

"Did you mean what you said yesterday?" He asked. His voice sounded so unsure.

I shifted so I was looking into his eyes. I saw the love and desire and fear. I leaned in and kissed his lips softly.

"Every word."

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too."

I felt so completely and utterly happy. It was as if everything that had happened led me to this moment. Like I was meant for Jacob. Everything felt like it would be better.

I was brought from my thoughts by the shrill ringing of the phone. Jake slipped on some pants and quickly went to answer it.

"What? Shit. Okay."

He rushed back into the room, "Bella. I need you to stay here."

"What?"

"You need to stay here, promise me."

"Jake... You're scaring me."

"I love you Bella."

He kissed my forehead and was out the window. The slightest tint of russet fur before he completely disappeared.

The knots in my stomach were eating at me. I walked around his house for 2 hours. Then I couldn't wait anymore. I needed to go home. I needed to take a shower. I walked out and climbed into my truck. The ride home was quicker. The sky was ominous, threatening a storm. A big one at that.

I pulled up to the house to find the door was wide open. I should have turned around and fled, but the cruiser in the driveway stopped me from moving far.

I shut the truck off and ran up the few stairs, the house was completely trashed. I looked around panic gripping me. I ran from room to room not seeing Charlie.

"Dad? DAD? CHARLIE? DAAAD?" I screamed.

I ran back to the living room and stopped in my tracks. I could see the top of Charlie's head, he was in his recliner.

I instantly felt relieved, "Dad you scared me." I said placing my hand on his shoulder.

I looked at him and it wasn't right. He was so pale and so cold. His eyes were closed.

"Daddy?" I asked out loud.

That's when I saw the blood. The blood on his neck. I screamed. Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Daddy... Daddy please wake up. Dad? I love you. Dad please wake up." I sobbed.

I knew it was fruitless, I knew he was gone. I stood up on wobbly legs and ran from the house fleeing from the scene. Trying to make it disappear. Trying to wake up from the nightmare.

Climbing into the truck and driving back to La Push. I got to the treaty line and standing there with flame colored hair was Victoria.

Without thinking I got out of the car and ran at her. Fury rolling off me in waves.

She laughed coldly, "Like you could hurt me. You pathetic human."

That's when I saw Jacob...

The air rushed from my lungs in a loud whoosh. "Jacob?" I whispered tentatively.

I rushed to his side. I could hear his heart faintly. Victoria grabbed me and I slammed into a tree.

I watched in horror as she lifted Jake's limp body and tore his head off.

I heard an agonized blood curdling scream. I realized it was me. I got up and ran I fled really. I managed to get on top of the cliffs at first beach. I stood on the ledge and flung myself off.

But Victoria wouldn't have it, she was already in the water. She was behind me.

"A mate for a mate. I threw your dad in for fun. Now you can live for eternity. Not with the Cullen's and with no one."

I felt her teeth sink into my flesh. I screamed again in pain, my voice hoarse. Then I sank into darkness...

A/N this will eventually become a Jasper/Bella story. Let me know what you think so far. I know it's off to a shaky start but it's necessary.

-Lizbeth