So. I'm back with another one-shot for Bones. This one is Post Harbingers in a Fountain, so if you haven't seen that, there are spoilers in this for you. Before I go into why I'm writing this one-shot, I wanted to just say that I loved the premiere. The longing glances between Booth and Brennan were so worth the summer. Just amazing.
The idea for this one-shot came from the "missing scene" that happened in between when Booth saves Brennan and when he is sitting in his chair behind his desk. I wanted to explore that scene a little bit more, to think about what Brennan was thinking and in some cases even Booth too. So that is where this came from. With that said, I did use some of the dialog from the rescue scene in the episode in the beginning because I needed it to go forward.
I hope you enjoy this and please, let me know if you do or don't so I know if spending my time on this is even worthwhile.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bones.
My Burden is Light
"Together we'll wake up together we'll sleep
We've tied the knot this bond we'll keep
Turn the lock from the outside in
This wheel of fate can roll and spin
Captive soldier betrayed by love
Sees no bars he sees the stars above
A link and a tie and a lover's embrace
A paradise made touched by grace."
- Piers Faccini
The scalpel cut into her skin easily. Her mind instantly registered the pain, causing her to tumble backwards. He moved upon her then, taking her weakness as an opportunity for himself. She closed her eyes and waited. She waited for the scalpel to pierce her skin again and again. She waited for his laughter; for the smile that he would leer at her after he had placed the last wound inside of her, but it never came. Two loud bangs erupted inside of the silent office and she watched as Dr. Leacock fell onto his back, blood instantly seeping from the wound that now resided on his chest. The sound of rushed footsteps registered in her clouded brain, but she didn't move. She wasn't afraid. He had come for her.
He had saved her one more time.
She closed her eyes and waited for his warm embrace.
Strong arms surrounded her trembling frame, pulling her towards him.
"Bones, you alright?" Booth asked, his grip on her tightening.
She breathed him in, allowing herself to find comfort in his arms. "Yeah, I'm fine," she breathed. "I'm okay."
His fingers moved along her arm until they stopped at the place on her arm that was causing her the most pain. She cradled her arm to her chest as he pressed against the wound.
"Bones, your arm…"
Her eyes glanced downwards, noticing that the scalpel was still sticking out of her arm and that blood was oozing from her wound. "Oh, god…"
She moved her hand to the scalpel.
"No, don't pull it out," Booth warned "don't touch that." With one quick pull, she removed the scalpel from her arm and dropped it on the ground. His hands instantly covered the wound in attempt to stop the bleeding. "Bones," he said in alarm. "easy." He tightened his hold on her forearm, and sank lower to the floor beside her. "I got you." The palm of his hands pressed against the wound as he tried to control the bleeding. "Alright, alright…"
She sank further to the ground, her body leaning more against his. "Thank you," she whispered, her uninjured arm reaching up, seeking out the hand of his arm that was wrapped around her shoulders.
He grabbed her hand firmly in his own. His other hand still pressing hard against her wound. "Easy," he breathed as he sunk further down onto the floor. "The ambulance is on its way."
"Quick, put pressure on the wound." She pressed her head into his chest as a numbing pain began to spread throughout her entire body.
"Okay, I got it." Booth pushed his chin atop of her head and pulled her as close as he could. "I got it. Just relax. Just trust me, alright? I'm going to take care of you," he hushed her, "I got you. I'm right here. I'm going take care of you. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere." He pressed his lips against the top of her head. "I got you, baby."
She closed her eyes and continued to listen to Booth murmur. The pain in her arm continued to burn as she tried to focus on only the man beside her. The man that she was pretty sure she was falling in love with. She had tried to ignore it. To pretend like he was just a friend, a brother even. But she craved him. The six weeks that she spent in Guatemala were lonely and hard. She knew she shouldn't have left, but she did anyway. She used it as an excuse. She used it to escape the feelings that she had felt inside of her. And now, he was here. Saving her, protecting her, and the pain that she felt began to fall away, because all she could think about was Booth. The touch of his hands against her skin. The way his body felt against hers. The way he had placed a gentle kiss a top of her head. She breathed him in again, and wondered how she could ever live without this man.
He was it. The only one that she believed in.
"Bones?" Booth said, his voice strained. "Are you okay?"
"I'm okay," she said immediately without thinking.
"You're crying," he said gently.
She turned her head into his chest further, embarrassed, but she made no move to swipe away the awkward tears off of her face. "I'm sorry," she mumbled into his chest.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Booth reassured her. He placed another kiss atop of her head.
She shivered involuntarily as she felt his lips brush against her hair once more.
"Are you cold?" He asked, concerned. He knew what too much blood loss meant; he had seen it before in the battlefields. He pulled her closer to him, making sure to keep a strong hold on her still bleeding wound. "Bones, stay with me, okay? I've got you."
She wanted to tell him that she wasn't okay. She wanted to tell him that ever since she had thought she had lost him again, she had realized why she only wanted him to be the father of her child. She wanted to tell him that even though she didn't want to believe in love because there was no logic or reasoning to it, she did… because of him.
He had made her believe.
"Bones, are you okay?" He repeated.
She nodded into his chest, refusing to admit aloud that she was most certainly not okay. "Yes."
Sirens began to wail in the distance. Booth cast his gaze downwards to look at her wound. The skin of his hand was covered in her blood. "Jesus, Bones," he frowned.
"Booth…" she whispered.
"It's going to be okay." He pushed down harder on her forearm, hoping that the increased pressure would finally make the cut stop bleeding.
She bit her lip as an unavoidable wave of pain washed through her arm. Her mind began to cloud as the pain rippled through the rest of her upper body. She pressed her head more firmly against his chest, listening to his heart pound within the walls of his body. The sirens outside grew louder. She tightened her hold on his hand. "Don't leave me."
The words slipped from her mouth before she could stop them. They were irrational and illogical, and she was instantly embarrassed at her slip. Beside her, Booth's body stiffened and his heart thumped harder in his chest, but his arms remained tightly around her, holding her as close to him as he could.
"I'm not going to leave you, Bones," he reassured her. He pressed his check on top of her head, breathing in her scent. "I would never leave you willingly," he added softly.
The words melted into her brain. She grasped at the meanings behind the words, trying to fully comprehend what all it was that he was saying. The logic came to her easily, even when she was in pain. He was reassuring her. He was telling her what he knew she needed to hear, and he told her in a way that would logically make sense to her. He would never leave her willingly. He would never walk away from her unless forced. He would never abandon her on his own.
A fresh batch of tears trickled from her heavy eyes. She was so tired. Tired from working long hours. Tired from running from herself. Tired of pretending like she wasn't in love with him. She was just tired.
"Stay awake, Bones," Booth breathed. "You need to stay awake." The sirens screamed outside. "They're almost here."
Silence fell between them as they waited for the stampede. For the first time since he had busted into Dr. Leacock's office, Booth turned to look at the body that was still lying lifeless on the floor. He had taken a life. Usually, he didn't like doing that. But this wasn't like every other time. Dr. Leacock had tried to kill his Bones, and that wasn't okay. Not even by a long shot.
The sounds of voices filled the quiet office, and it wasn't long before a mixed herd of paramedics and FBI agents descended upon them. They remained entangled in one another, ignoring the onslaught of questions that were being asked by both parties. She turned her head into Booth's chest, willing the voices to go away. Booth pressed his lips down on the top of her head once more before he leaned forward, closing the slight distance between them.
"Bones, the paramedics need to take a look at you," he whispered into her ear. "Okay?"
"Yes," she nodded into his chest. She took one last deep breath before she turned out of his chest and faced the two male paramedics that were kneeling beside her.
"Ma'am?" The paramedic whose nametag read, James, said. "Can you tell us what happened?"
"I came to talk to Mr. Leacock, but instead of talking we ended up getting into a physical altercation because I discovered him attempting to destroy evidence." Everything that she told the paramedics were the details. They were facts. Things that needed to be documented. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and continued. "As we fought, he was able to cut my on my upper arm and then he stabbed me," she raised her arm slightly to show them, but Booth's hand blocked their view.
"You've lost a lot of blood," James frowned.
"Yes," she affirmed.
"She pulled the knife out of the wound," Booth informed them. His gaze settled on her.
She stared at Booth, ignoring the two paramedics. "I know that it isn't the correct thing to do, but I…I must not have been thinking clearly."
"It's okay," James said. "How are you feeling now?"
"Tired," she admitted.
"Okay," James nodded. He turned towards the paramedic beside him. "We're going to need a stretcher."
"Is that really necessary?" She asked warily as she watched the other paramedic jog out of the office.
"Bones, you've lost a lot of blood," Booth sighed.
"I know but - "
"Sir," James interrupted, "could you please remove your hand from the wound?"
"She's still bleeding," Booth refused. "If I remove my hand, she'll lose more."
"Sir, I need to look at the wound." When Booth didn't move his hand, James decided to try a different approach. "I need to see what's going on so I can help her."
"She can tell you what's going on," Booth said, "she's a doctor."
"Booth…" she sighed.
He looked down at her arm and slowly began to relieve the pressure of his hand from her arm. Blood continued to seep from the wound, but it wasn't as fast as it had been earlier. James grabbed her arm instantly and began to inspect the wound. It wasn't long before he had reached into his bag and began to wrap her forearm tightly with gauze.
"Is she going to be okay?" Booth asked, his body still close to hers.
"It looks like the radial artery has been nicked," James explained. "We'll take her to the hospital and they'll stitch her up. She should be fine."
Booth squeezed her shoulders with the arm that was still wrapped around her. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against her check. "You're going to be fine."
"Yeah," she nodded. She glanced down at her now bandaged arm and then turned towards Booth. Blood painted his white shirt.
He followed her gaze and instantly shook his head. "It's fine, Bones."
"I'll buy you a new one."
Before Booth could respond, a tall agent called for him from beside Dr. Leacock's body. "Agent Booth, can we have a minute?"
Booth did not move. "I need to make sure my partner's okay."
"Booth," she swallowed. "It's okay. I'll be okay."
"I'm not leaving you," Booth refused.
"Booth, I'll be fine."
Booth turned and glanced at the agents that were standing around Dr. Leacock's body. He knew that they were just following procedure. He knew that he shouldn't be clinging to his partner the way he was, but he couldn't help it. He could have lost her.
"Look," James said as he watched the other paramedic return with the stretcher. "We'll load her onto the stretcher while you go talk to them and we'll call you over before we leave."
Booth tightened his hold of her shoulders. "That okay, Bones?"
"Yes," she nodded.
She wanted to tell him no. She wanted to tell him that she didn't want him to leave her side; that she needed him. That she was afraid. But she didn't. She couldn't. Her fear consumed her.
Booth moved away from her reluctantly. He kept his gaze on her as he moved, carefully reading her reactions as he withdrew his hand and his body from hers. She remained still on the floor, but her eyes followed him. He smiled at her before he turned and walked towards the agents, leaving her alone with James.
She ignored James and watched as Booth straightened his back as he approached the other agents. His posture became defensive as he stood in front of them and explained what happened. She wanted to go to him then. To tell him that she didn't know how he had known, but he had and he had saved her.
The stretcher arrived beside her, but she didn't move. She continued to stare at Booth, trying to ignore the overwhelming feeling she had to call him back to her. She didn't want to do this without him. Not anymore.
"Ma'am," James said, interrupting her thoughts. "It's time to go."
She turned and looked at the stretcher. She frowned. "Is this really necessary?"
"Yes," James nodded without hesitation. He reached down and placed his hands in her armpits, lifting her upwards. She choked back a cry as pain radiated throughout her arm. He steered her towards the stretcher swiftly, and once she was close enough to sit down, he pushed guided her downwards.
Slowly, she allowed herself to lie down on the stretcher. Her head rushed as she moved, the blood loss she had suffered becoming more apparent to her. Once she was resting comfortably on the stretcher, she turned her head and looked at Booth. He was facing her know, a concerned look was etched on his down-trodden face. She tried to smile at him reassuringly but failed. It was then that he excused himself from the other agents and began to walk back towards her.
"Where are you taking her?" Booth asked.
"GW," James said. Slowly they began to move the stretcher towards the door. "You can follow behind us if you'd like."
She watched him as he walked beside her, much like she had when he was being wheeled into the OR for surgery.
He looked down at her, concerned. "Are you okay with me following in a car behind you?"
Her heart screamed no, but her head told her that she needed to be reasonable about this. He needed his car. If he didn't have his car, they wouldn't have any means of transportation from the hospital. She gazed up at him and gave him the best fake smile she could manage under the circumstances. "That's fine."
He grabbed the hand of her uninjured arm as they continued to walk towards the door. "Don't lie to me, Temperance," he said softly. "It's okay if you're not."
Tears pricked her eyes. "We need your car to get home."
"There are other ways for us to get home."
"No," she shook her head.
Booth's brow furrowed. "Bones…"
They exited the office building and made their way towards the ambulance that was waiting for them. Bones turned away from Booth, unable to hold his stare any longer. "Just follow us, okay?"
Booth tightened his grip on her hand. "I'll be right behind you."
She nodded her head and waited for him to drop her hand so that James and the other paramedic could lift her into the back of the ambulance. But he didn't let go. She looked at him confused. He leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss against her forehead and gave her hand one last squeeze before he walked away, leaving her all alone in the back of the ambulance.
She sat alone in the hospital room. They had arrived ten minutes ago and she had immediately been rushed back into the confines of the ER. She hadn't seen Booth since the ambulance doors had closed, which was making her begin to regret her decision to let him drive separately because this was the part that she hated. She hated being alone in a hospital room. She hated feeling like no one cared enough to be there. Especially since she met Booth because he was always there. He was always beside her, making sure that she was okay, protecting her, helping her. No matter what, he was always there.
Nurses moved around the room, setting up her IV and preparing her to receive a blood transfusion. She watched the doctors and other nurses move outside of her room through the clear glass, but she didn't really care about them. The only one that she cared about hadn't passed through the hallway yet. He was still missing, and she was still alone.
The door to her room pushed open. She turned her head and glanced at the doctor that entered the room. The doctor moved towards her, grabbing a suture tray on the way over. She averted her gaze, choosing to focus on the hallway instead of what was happening inside of her room.
"Dr. Brennan," the doctor said, "I'm Dr. Hastings, I'll be taking care of you today. It looks like the knife just missed your radial artery, so I'm just going to stitch you up and you'll be good to go."
She didn't respond. She didn't care.
Dr. Hastings pulled the bandage away from her wound and quickly assessed the situation. "Would you like a local anesthetic?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Are you sure?" Dr. Hastings frowned. "The cut is quite deep, it could be painful."
"I'm sure." Her gaze never left the hallway.
As Dr. Hastings began to suture her wound, she saw him round the corner in a hurry. He stopped abruptly when he saw her in lying in the hospital bed, his eyes catching hers. He gave her a slight nod before he continued moving until he had pushed his way into her room.
"Bones," Booth breathed as he pushed past a nurse that was trying to stop him from entering her room. "Are you okay?"
She watched him as he walked towards her. His hand latched onto her uninjured hand immediately. She looked up at him, ignoring the pain that was spreading throughout her other arm, and smiled. "You're here."
"Of course I'm here."
Dr. Hastings continued to stitch along the wound, causing her to grimace. She bit her lip, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall again.
"It's okay, Bones," Booth said gently, his hand tightening its hold on hers.
She looked away from him then, ashamed. "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for."
A lone tear trickled out of the corner of her left eye, but she ignored it. "I shouldn't have gone there alone."
"You couldn't have known," Booth said, shaking his head.
She squeezed his hand in her own. "I should've waited for you."
"You'll wait for me next time." He leaned forward and kissed her gently on the cheek. "You sure you're alright?"
She closed her eyes, willing herself to not become accustomed to the kisses that Booth was currently showering her with. They would pass. She knew they would. They would pass just like his blurred vision and headaches had. All of this was just a side effect of his surgery, and she had to deal with that. The real Booth was not in love with her. She needed to remember that.
He frowned. "Bones?"
"I'm okay," she nodded. Her chest cramped with an indescribable pain, something she hadn't felt since she was a child. Something she hadn't allowed herself to feel since she was a child. She wanted it to go away. To vanish into the night like her parents had so many years ago, but she knew it wouldn't. Too much had happened. She had let him too far in, and now she was going to pay for it. She was going to feel the sadness that she had tried to prevent herself from feeling for years. All because she had been stupid enough to fall in love with her partner.
"Bones…" Booth's voice trailed off. He stared at her, seemingly picking apart everything that she was. Her facial expressions. Her words and her lack of words. Her eyes. Everything. It was what he did. He read people. He understood.
She shook her head. "Booth, don't. Not now."
"Bones," he said, giving her a sad smile. "I need you to do something for me." He squeezed her hand. "I need you to let go. I need you to just trust me. Trust me to know myself and to know you. I need you to do that for me. Do you think you can do that?"
"No," Booth interrupted. "I know you. I know what you're doing to yourself, and I need you to stop and trust me. Okay?" He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. "Trust me."
She raised her head slightly and pressed her lips against his forehead softly. "Okay."
"Okay." He smiled and moved away from her, satisfied with her response. His hand remained wrapped around hers as they waited for Dr. Hastings to finish stitching her arm.
Their eyes remained trained on each other as they sat in silence. The storm inside of her was slowing. Her thoughts and her fears were fading away along with the pain from her wound. Booth squeezed her hand in his own, reminding her that he was there. Reminding her to trust him. That he would never leave her willingly. And that was all she needed for now.
She would trust him. He had given her no reason not to.
Because he was always there when she needed him.
He was the one.