This is what happens when I'm bored at work. Here, lovely readers, is my first and probably last crackfic. Written in 10 minutes while I was pretending to work. :)

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The Hunt

It's the thirst that gets you. The all-consuming, overpowering thirst for their blood. Once you've had it, you cannot be without it. The need haunts you; the aroma taunts you. It is merciless.

I've been this way as long as I can remember. I have no memory of any other life. I do not love, I do not truly live. I hunt. It is my obsession.

We keep to the dark alleys and back roads. We feed off the weak, the downtrodden. I look at it as a kindness. I have to, otherwise I would fear for my soul.

There are, however, those who believe our kind do not have souls.

Today I am not in an alley, nor am I on a backroad. I have followed my prey to a house, skirting around the building to get ahead of it. I believe it is a male, though I have no real preference. Blood tastes sweet no matter the source.

Ah...there he is now. I wait, hiding. Stealth is one of our many strengths. Our preternatural stillness allows us to wait for our victims to come to us, the anticipation building with every step. The thirst almost overwhelming.

Step.

One step closer. He stops, sensing my presence, looking around for the source of his discomfiture.

Step.

One step closer. He sees nothing. He smells nothing. I am stealth. I am absolute stillness.

Step.

One step closer. Soon I will strike. Soon I will feed. It has been some time since my last taste of the rich red elixir that keeps us all alive. The power of it almost overwhelms me -- threatens to make me act in haste.

Step.

It is time.

I strike, in a flash, a dark angel promising death. A strangled cry falls from his lips as he sees me. He tries to run, but it's no use. I am twice as fast, and immeasurably stronger.

But not as strong as the pair of hands that grabs me.

"Zeus! Bad kitty! Leave the little mousie alone."

Foiled again. Dammit!

"Oh, you worked hard to get that little mouse, didn't you?" Her hands stroke my ears, consoling me in the way only she can. "You want a kitty treat instead?"

I meow.

Hell yeah I want a kitty treat.