Things to be Said

A/N: I do not own NCIS

McGee slammed the lid of the copier shut.

BANG!

And in five seconds, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo saw something he never imagined he'd see.

Ziva David covered her ears, letting out a gasp and ducking.

McGee and Tony caught each other's glance. Tony's blood ran cold. He had seen hell in those few days, but he couldn't even imagine what Ziva had experienced. Three months in hell, three months of torture, that had to get to you.

Ziva sat up, realizing that she was back at the base, at her desk, surrounded by people that would protect her at all cost – especially McGee and DiNozzo. They had risked everything…she blocked the memory from her mind. She was still mad at Tony, not really knowing why.

Maybe being angry with him was easier than admitting…

"Ziva, you okay?" Tony asked, craning his neck towards her.

"Yeah," she blushed, "Fine. Nothing to worry about."

But Tony was worried. He was worried three months ago and had been ever since. Three months of not knowing if Ziva David was alive or…he didn't even want to think about the other option.

"Okay," he nodded, not really accepting her answer.

Quickly they returned to their paperwork. Gibbs hadn't wanted to put them out on the field yet. They needed time to just get their bearings back before going out and catching bad guys.

Tony tried to focus on the computer screen but his eyes kept wandering towards Ziva.

She met his gaze, blushed, and said, "I-I am going to take my lunch break now. When Gibbs gets back, let him know I stepped out."

McGee nodding, accepting her answer. She got up from her desk and made her way towards the elevator. Tony glanced at McGee who nodded towards Ziva.

"Go," he mouthed.

Tony rolled his eyes, as if it were an inconvenience, but got up from his desk and headed to the elevators.

He wandered around outside for a bit before going to the back of the building where the dumpsters were. What he saw, made his breath catch in his lungs.

Ziva was propped up against the wall, her head in her hands sobbing. Tony walked over towards her and stood above her quaking body, not knowing what to say or do.

"You can't see me this way!" Ziva snarled.

"I don't care," Tony said in his DiNozzo-esque way, "Look, Ziv…"

"Tony, they did things to me there that I don't even want to think about but my mind constantly replays them, like a broken record. I am forced to relive everything – every beating, every drugging, everything – all the time. I haven't slept in months and I don't think I ever will be able to. I-I hate being so…weak."

Tony sat down next to her, "Ziva David, you may be the biggest head-strong, argumentative, pain in the ass but you are not weak. You are one of the strongest people I know."

"Tony, look at me."

"I am. I see a great officer, a woman who can handle herself better than any man can. I see someone who can endure the worst and still show up to work without asking for time off. I see someone who put a gun to my throat and didn't doubt for a second, no matter how close we are, that she wouldn't pull the trigger."

"I would have," Ziva smirked up at him through the tears.

"I know."

"Doesn't that scare you?"

"Not really."

"How come?"

"Because," Tony shrugged, "I trust you."

"And yet you know I would have pulled the trigger?"

"Yeah. You're complicated, David. I can't explain it."

"Tony…I never really thanked you for coming to rescue me. Gibbs told me how you never, ever gave up on me. Mcgee told me that you acted as if your world stopped without me. Abby told me she never wanted to see you so upset again. But you, you haven't told me anything."

"I didn't think you wanted me talking to you."

"Like you said…I am complicated."

"Alright. When I heard Gibbs say that there were no survivors on the ship, I couldn't hear, see, or think. All I thought about was getting you back. Even if that meant getting killed."

"Why do you care about me so much?" Ziva asked, "I don't deserve it."

"Alright, so maybe you didn't deserve it but Ziva, if I were to go to work one more day without you, I would have quit."

"What?" Ziva practically laughed.

"McGee, sure he's fun to pick on, but without you, work's just boring."

"Thanks."

"Come on, let's go grab something to eat."

"But work…"

"Work can wait. You need time, Ziva."

"Tony…thank you."

"Ziva, you should know by now that you never need to thank me."

"I know," Ziva smiled, "But it needed to be said."