We were almost through the whole photo album, filled with our childhood memories. Edward and I were always together. I thumbed through the pictures of me and my best friend and I felt close to tears. As I came to the last page, I closed the book and tossed it aside.
"You're really ready to go through with this tomorrow, Edward?" I asked carefully, my eyes downcast.
He laid his perfect body down the length of my bed and closed is eyes. The dreamy look on his face did not escape my attention. I looked away again.
"Of course I am, Bella. Why wouldn't I go through with it? I get to marry the woman of my dreams tomorrow. The woman I'm completely and totally in love with. She's drop dead gorgeous, smart, funny, caring, successful, loving, flawless, and did I mention drop dead gorgeous?" He chuckled. "She's everything I could ever ask for. I couldn't be happier."
I tried to smile. I really did. Somehow, I just couldn't find it in me. The hole in my chest deepened as the knife of memories shoved its way through my heart. I should have been happy, or at least should have tried to be in front of Edward, but I just couldn't be. I couldn't help but wish that by some miraculous intervention, tomorrow would go differently. And I couldn't help but feel like the wrong person was going down that isle tomorrow.
My eyes, now swollen and flooded, were glued to the comforter, but I felt Edward's gaze turn to me and he sat up beside me.
"Hey," he whispered, as his brought his index finger under my chin to coax my gaze to his. The way it felt when he touched me, even such a small gesture like this, was enough to make me forget my own name. "Hey, what's wrong?" I shook my head and let the tears fall. I couldn't explain right now. My voice was nowhere to be found, but I did my best to put something out there.
"It's nothing, Edward. I'll be alright." I did my best to smile, but it came out as more of a half-hearted grimace as I looked up at the man before me. I studied his features, trying to memorize every inch of him. His boyish features had hardened into angled lines, and I marveled at this heartbreakingly beautiful man in front of me. He had grown so much.
"Bella," he muttered softly. His hands moved to grip my face and wipe away the tears that were running down my cheeks. "It's not alright. How long have I known you? And how long have I been your best friend?" He asked.
"Our whole lives." I answered in a soft and reluctant voice.
"That's right. And can't I always tell when you're really, really hurting?"
"Yes." I admitted
"Then tell me about it."
"I just…It's just…tomorrow…you…" I tried to say something but I couldn't get it out through my tears. I glanced at the pictures that cluttered my night stand, and Edward instantly understood. Pictures upon pictures of Edward and me throughout the years. A couple of Jasper and Alice, Rosalie and Emmett, my mother and Phil, and my father.
"Shhh," He soothed as he gathered me up on his lap, in his arms. "Oh, Bella. It's okay."
"God, Edward. You don't understand. It just hurts so much."
"Bella, everything will be okay. Trust me." I nodded. I lifted my head from where it was tucked under his chin an turned to look at him.
"I love you." I told him, weakly, as I gazed into those mint eyes. My eyes fluttered shut as his hand came to rest on my cheek.
"I love you too." He said.
"You know," I continued, swallowing away the tears and looking straight into his eyes, trying to convey all of the meaning behind my next words. "No one could ever love you as much as I do."
"Somehow I don't doubt that." He whispered. His face was so close to mine. The back of his fingers started to trace the line of my jaw. His lips were merely inches away. It was now or never.
I closed the gap between us in a heartbeat and my lips touched his. He didn't respond at first, and I immediately felt stupid for pushing it. Dejected, I started to pull away, but just as I was about to, his lips started to move with mine. His lips felt like heaven and they sent a tingle through my whole body. As chaste as is was right now, It still made me feel like I was on fire and I couldn't get enough. It wasn't our first kiss, but it felt like it. Still, it was too cautious. I could tell he was holding back, but I needed him now. I pushed forward a bit more, tasting him, and he let it all go. One of his hands was in my hair and the other was on my back, pushing me to him. I gripped him tightly, afraid to let go. I knew we had to stop soon, I just needed him one last time before…
He pulled away. "Bella! We can't keep doing this. The wedding's tomorrow and you know I cant…" He warned, frantically. The guilt filled me and I pushed myself off his lap.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…I know. I'm sorry." He reached for me again, grasping and clutching me to him, with my face cradled in his hands.
"Bella, tell me to call it all off tomorrow and I will. All you have to do is ask."
"I can't do that Edward. You know I can't. And honestly, I really don't want to." Though it was a tempting offer...
My eyes flipped to the nightstand and I studied the pictures there. One in particular held my attention. Edward and I were five years old. We were out at the lake with Charlie. He was standing in between us with his biggest catch of the day, and we were all smiling like we had no other care in the world. He told us that day that Edward and I would always have each other. That was the day I realized I had a best friend.
"Please." Edward pleaded. "Just say the word and tomorrow doesn't happen. I can call everyone. Postpone it."
"No, Edward. Please don't misunderstand. I'm so, so happy. Really, I am. I just wish things could be different."
"I do too." he murmured as he pulled me to him once again.
"I just miss him so much." I whimpered.
"So do I. We both wish he could be there tomorrow. I loved him too, you know." I sighed and relaxed into his chest as he laid us down.
"I know you did. It's just so unfair." A fresh wave of tears made their way to my eyes. "It's only been two weeks and it's still raw. I'm sorry I'm such a mess." I swatted at my wet cheeks and snuggled closer to Edward.
He knew I had a hard time talking about Charlie's death. It had been so sudden. One minute he was fine, and then next he was gone. We didn't even see it coming. They said it was a heart attack.
"You're not a mess and I understand." He said, and I knew he meant it.
"I really need to thank Carlisle again for doing this on such short notice."
"Don't be ridiculous. You've already thanked him about a zillion times. Besides, he's honored. He would love nothing more than to walk you down that isle."
I smiled. Though I had been torn up when I realized Charlie wouldn't be able to walk me down the isle like I had dreamed about since I was a little girl, I was still extremely grateful to have Carlisle to step in. I really did love him. And Charlie would be proud.
"You're sure you don't want to wait a little bit?" He asked, tentatively.
"I'm sure. Just because I miss Charlie doesn't mean I don't want to get married at all." I leaned up to kiss him again. I really couldn't get enough of this man.
Just as it started to get going again, he pulled back. I was sensing a pattern.
"Bella." He warned again, this time with a slight chuckle. I grinned.
"I know, I promised. No touching, I know. I just can't help myself." He chuckled and flipped us so that he was laying on top of me. His hand ran up the side of my thigh.
"And do you remember exactly why I put that rule in place, tonight?" He questioned deviously.
"If I recall, It had something to do with the fact that you have a hard time pulling yourself away from me." I pretended to think about it for a moment. "You also mentioned something about how we'll miss the reception completely because you can't keep your hands to yourself and we'll just be trapped in this bed for however long you decide to hold me this time."
"Precisely." He agreed, as he started to place kisses down my neck. "And as appealing as that sounds, I would much rather marry you tomorrow so that I can spend the whole month long honeymoon I have set up in the islands with my beautiful wife, doing exactly this."
I hummed in pleasure. "I must say, I rather like that idea." Just then, he pulled back. Again.
"And that means I have to go. Alice would have a shit fit if she knew I was here anyway. I'll see you tomorrow, baby." With one last kiss, he ripped himself from the bed and started towards the window. I shot up as well.
"Can't you stay just a little while longer?" I pouted, hoping it would work. He stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms.
"I have to leave before midnight, love. I can't see the bride before the I do's on the wedding day. That would be bad luck!" I sighed, shaking my head at Edward, and his silly superstitions.
"Do you really think we need luck?" I asked with my arms around his neck.
"Honey, Emmett's in charge of the food and the music tomorrow. I think we need all the luck we can get." With that, I threw my head back and laughed before helping him back out the window.
"I love you, Edward."
"I love you too, my Bella."
I kissed him once more and wandered back over to the bed of my childhood. Tomorrow I would be Mrs. Edward Cullen, and though I wished by some miracle my dad could be there, I knew that wherever he was he would be watching over us.
A/N: I don't know where this came from...just kind of a cute little onshot. Review please! Tell me what you think?